Is it Only Me ?

Anything on your mind that isn't about RLS/WED? It's nice to realize that there is life beyond this disease and have an opportunity to get to know our online family in a different context.
Polar Bear
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Is it Only Me ?

Postby Polar Bear » Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:44 pm

I am having a spell this last week where I'm feeling flat, a bit low, and possible a tad sensitive.

I'm assuming this could this be caused by lack of sleep (amongst the other health issues).
Is this in turn making me over sensitive - very possibly? Not tearful, but anxious, you know that feeling of worry in the tummy/chest.

example - today - Sunday dinner prepared as far as possible by myself and my husband, for family arriving later.
We are sitting Sunday reading the newspapers as we usually do, not a lot of chat as is the case when reading the papers..... but I'm feeling.... hmmmmmmm.....

example - One offspring who lives abroad has suggested doing away with adult gifts at Christmas, husband and I are the only adults bought for, the rest are for children. It's not for the money involved because this offspring only gives token gifts, whilst we are quite generous. In theory it's a good idea and I have thought so for a long time, How come it still has upset me.

It feels like a further cutting of the 'tie', something 'not to be bothered with'.
Probably partly feeling like this because this offspring lives abroad.
The time of year?
Lack of Sleep?

Oh, I hate being so thin skinned - must get out my book 'The Worry Cure' and reread it.
Betty
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debbluebird
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby debbluebird » Mon Nov 27, 2017 4:35 am

Sorry Betty. Just because, one suggested changing the gift giving, doesn't mean you have to do it. Maybe, they don't want the expense of sending so far ? It can be a difficult time of year. Of course sleep has a lot to do with it.
This year I won't be seeing my daughter, but my x-husband will, and I hate that. Christmas is hard for me because, my current husband does not like Christmas. I have adjusted.

Yankiwi
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby Yankiwi » Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:04 am

Christmas can be very hard. Cliff and I loved it even though I still, after 31 years, have not got used to a southern hemisphere Christmas. We used to go for a long walk then have a special but not elaborate meal. With Cliff gone I might just go for the walk.

Polar Bear
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby Polar Bear » Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:55 pm

Deb - It's not the cost of gifts as Amazon delivers free. I'm sorry you won't see your daughter and that Christmas is hard for you. I hope you can make up for it when Christmas is over.
Yankiwi - I hope you make Christmas suit you as best as possible. Have your walk and think of good times. Be glad of the time that you shared.

I think that Christmas exaggerates everyones emotions.
Coping with RLS symptoms and sleep deprivation make us a little more vulnerable.
Betty
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leggo_my_legs
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby leggo_my_legs » Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:21 am

Not just you. The holidays are hyped up but in reality a lot of family stuff can come up. Also crowds ugh...

badnights
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby badnights » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:03 am

Oh my. Christmas is hard in so many ways.

Betty, you get much less sleep than a person needs, and that can impact every aspect of your mental well-being. Never under-estimate the impact of chronic sleep loss.

On top of that, you sound like you might be in a state of constant, low-grade anxiety. How you describe yourself is very similar to how I used to feel daily. It was mostly anxiety but also at times depression (or dysthymia). It nagged at me every day as I cast around for the cause of my restlessness, my sense that I was forgetting something, that I should be doing something other than what I was doing. The state I was in disallowed happiness. I think it might be similar to what you're feeling; I took offense too easily, felt wounded or abandoned too easily.

You already have the solution to your child's proposal - tell him/her exactly what you wrote in your post to us. It is perfectly acceptable to admit you don't know why it upsets you, and there is nothing wrong with being upset. And as Deb says, it's just a suggestion - you're expected to give an honest response to the suggestion, which would be that you feel it's important to keep up the practice, it makes you feel good, and for reasons you can't quite define, it upsets you to think of abandoning it. If I had to guess why he/she wanted to stop, based on my own feelings at xmas time when I had to buy for so many people, it is very stressful to think of appropriate things for everyone and to buy them, all under time pressure.


Clare - - - definitely the walk, but why not the dinner, too? It might be nice to occupy yourself with a task you used to share, or it might be distressing. Don't reject the idea just because he's gone, though.
Beth - Wishing you all restful sleep tonight
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sleepdancer2
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby sleepdancer2 » Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:54 pm

Your sensitivity to the suggested changes is understandable to me. I find myself pretty emotional at little things that may not have been such a big deal if there weren't already underlying concerns about how things have been going in the relationship. I'd like to tell you to just be open and say exactly what you feel, but that would make me a hypocrite. But perhaps you're a better woman than I and can pull that off. :)
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Polar Bear
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby Polar Bear » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:32 am

Beth and Sleepdancer - thank you for your comments.

Have no fear I am very open about how I feel, so is my offspring, we certainly discuss things.
Sleepdancer, You are correct about underlying concerns on my part (whether real or perceived), I'm a worrier and a conversation will linger with me.

Beth, you mention a low grade anxiety and indeed I lived with that for many years. In recent years, not so much. And indeed, after my hiccup of last week I am now feeling less anxious. But I definitely to have that type of personality, finding any hint of family discord difficult be it real or perceived.
An outside wouldn't have a clue though. I looked up dysthymia and see that it links it with chronic illness..... well now, RLS, Fibromyalgia, arthritis.

On the other hand, when dealing with a business situation - any hint of unfairness or injustice, or a bad attitude - oh... I can be very steadfast and pro=active.

My original point really was about how much more emotionally sensitive we might be because of our lack of sleep - I think it's pretty clear that it would be hard not to have issues given our lifestyle.

I bet most of our members could relate to these feelings, at least some of the time.
Betty
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stjohnh
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby stjohnh » Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:51 am

Polar Bear wrote:
I bet most of our members could relate to these feelings, at least some of the time.


I certainly do. I avoid anything requiring emotional sensitivity or anything requiring complex judgements unless they occur during my "good" times... basically 6AM to noon. Chronic sleep deprivation has totally changed my life.
Blessings,
Holland

badnights
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby badnights » Wed Nov 29, 2017 5:06 am

I bet most of our members could relate to these feelings, at least some of the time.
I certainly do. I avoid anything requiring emotional sensitivity or anything requiring complex judgements unless they occur during my "good" times... basically 6AM to noon. Chronic sleep deprivation has totally changed my life.
Me too. The first and last parts of Holland's post, that is. I'm not smart enough to avoid sensitive or complex issues.
Beth - Wishing you all restful sleep tonight
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ViewsAskew
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby ViewsAskew » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:13 am

Oh - so totally agree, Betty. I often wonder if it is not only the lack of sleep, but also how the RLS changes our brain chemistry.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

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Polar Bear
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby Polar Bear » Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:54 am

Our topsy turvy lifestyle is pretty unpredictable, I agree that it has to mess with our brain chemistry. Especially if there might already be a predisposition.

Is it not being clever enough to avoid sensitive or complex issues, or is it being brave enough to tackle them - even though it is difficult/unsettling. ??
Betty
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SquirmingSusan
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby SquirmingSusan » Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:06 am

Sleep deprivation is one of the worst stresses that our bodies and brains can endure. I was an absolute crazy person for many years, before finally being diagnosed with RLS and eventually narcolepsy. Fortunately I have a good combination of medications that help my narcoleptic brain get deep sleep, instead of all REM all the time, and my RLS is treated effectively too. Here's a link to the long list of effects of sleep deprivation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_deprivation

This time of year is difficult for many of us anyway, with the short, gloomy days. I need my SAD light, some outdoor time in the sunlight when possible, and to really find happy things to do. Especially with my daughter living in Japan, and my son temporarily living about an hour away. This whole parenting thing is difficult. When they're small they become the whole world, and then they grow up and move on.

Hang in there, Betty! Try to relax and refocus your mind on happy things.
Susan

ViewsAskew
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby ViewsAskew » Thu Nov 30, 2017 8:09 am

Susan, this is one of the other immediate effects of living in CA. I am in sunlight all the time! No more doom and gloom for days on end. I am happier immediately because of it. No more SAD lamps - at least while I am not working. All of us here who live in northern or gray climes - this must have an impact on us!
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



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Polar Bear
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Re: Is it Only Me ?

Postby Polar Bear » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:06 pm

Ah... the sunshine of California.

Our past summer here in UK..... we had a two week decent spell at the end of May and then it rained for almost the rest of the summer.
The BBQ was not used once.
A SAD light may be an idea.
Betty
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