My 3 year old boy diagnosed with ADHD

[b_rwhite5]

Hi everyone. I have a 3 year old little boy. He's my baby and he will always be. His name is Aidan. He is very hyper and aggressive to hisself and others. He hits, pushes, slaps, pinches, and kicks when he does not get his way or is jealous. Until he started Head Start, he was only this way with his sisters ages 7 and 5.Myhusband and I have tried almost everything. Aidan will hit his own head when he is angry.When he was alittle more than a year old, he actually shattered our kitchen window with his head with only one hit because he did not want his dad to go to work. Ofcourse dad went to work. Aidan was not hurt, not a scratch on him! He has a bad temper and that is an understatement. Aidan knows no danger. We have been to the hospital many times. He has had a MRI and recently had an EEG because of two seizures. I was afraid that the head banging caused the seizues. Both tests came out fine and the seizures were caused by having a fever that raised very quickly. They are called Febrile seizures and hopefully he will never have another one. I had epilepsy as a child until I was 12. I have never had any since then.

After being very insistant for over a year, I was finally able to get Aidan an appointment with a Developmental Pediatric so that I could have someone tell me what was going on with my son. Oh, by the way, we got Him a soft helmet to wear to protect his head when he was about 1.5 years. Anyway, the doc suggested that Aidan start a Head Start program, which if anyone doesn't know is a sort-of preschool for 2 and 3 year olds. Aidan has never been in day care or with anyone other than grandparent or my aunt. The doc thought this would be good for him and she was right. He also was to start seeing a (see if I can spell this right) Psychiatrist and a conselor. The psych was to evaluate him for mental and behavioral problems and the conselor was to help my husband and I with finding ways to help Aidan. The poor child also sees a Speech Therapist because he will not eat but a few things because of his Sensory Intergration Disorder which we believe he will overcome. He sees a Occupational Therapist because he has a few mild delays and an Early Interventionist for the same reason along with his regular docs. Children with ADHD, or atleast Aidan, seems to be terrified when he first meets new people. Aidan takes melatonin so he can sleep along with Benadryl which also helps him sleep. If he does not get atleast 11 hrs of sleep he is even more uncontrolable than usual. He has a big heart and he makes everyone laugh. He is so amazing. He and my daughters are my life. I was wondering if anyone else has a similiar situation. He just started taking Aderall 5mg today. I did not really want to put him on any other meds, but I decided to give it a try. I know it has to be hard on him because he gets so angry so easily. It obviously must take a huge toll on him mentally. I want to help make this as easy for him as possible, as ofcourse any parent would. I find myself wondering if somehow I did this to him. I know that sounds crazy, but I can't help it. PLEASE. PLEASE if anyone has had any experience with ADHD I would be forever in debt to you for anything that you can tell me. I don't really know anyone with ADD or ADHD. I have done alot of research, but it helps to speak to someone who has any experience with this. Thanks so much in advance.

[ViewsAskew]

Rebecca,

I have no advice, just a big hug. These kinds of problems with kids can be tough.

I'm sure your psych's did a good job, but it might be worth at least one more opinion, or even two. It's hard to put yourselves through this, but at this age, diagnosis is really hard to do accurately - and it can be even harder to find a good clinician that understands subtle differences. Some of Aidan's behaviors are consistent with pervasive development disorders (like autism, Asperger's, etc.). That doesn't mean I think he has it - I have very little knowledge here. I'm just pointing out that there are other possibilities. ADHD is a "popular" disorder these days, but many other disorders have symptoms that are almost identical. For example, sensory integration dysfunction and ADHD, and anger are hallmarks of Asperger's.

Sometimes the right diagnosis can make such a huge difference, especially because some interventions are critical at early ages. I don't know much about this, except as it applied to my nephew.

My nephew was diagnosed several times as a child, all incorrectly. ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, and many others. Turns out he has Asperger's. There are some interventions that would have helped so much that weren't done. He didn't get the right diagnosis until he was 11 when his mom and I figured out what is was. Now, his mom and dad are trying to work with him appropriately, but some of the behavioral stuff wouldn't be nearly as bad if they had known this early on and could have done other things. Because he is sooooo smart, trying to do these things now is very difficult.

[b_rwhite5]

Ann, thanks so much. You are absolutely right about getting a second opinion. My husband and have decided that would be a good idea. It never hurts to be sure. We have had him tested a few times. He was just tested for autism. He has some of the symptoms of autism. He does make eye contact and he speaks well with other people once he gets comfortable with them. I have had several specialist to say he has autism and others say he doesn't. Aspergers, as I was told, is similiar to autism. Its supposedly a milder form of autism. Doctor's diagnose ADHD for anyone that has even a few symptoms. According to his docs, teachers and from how he acts at hame he either has Aspergers or ADHD or both. He has many symptoms of both. I just can't believe how many people are diagnosed or have been diagnosed with ADHD who do not have ADHD. Its awful how they just give out these pills. Thats why I really wasn't wanting to put him on anything. I feel like he is too young to be taking any kind of pill, much less a narcotic. I agreed to give the meds a chance. I do believe that he may have Aspergers because so many of the symptoms describe him. I am hoping that he is just going through a stage in his life that he will grow out of. I am just keeping my hopes up. It doesn't matter what problems he may have, we will allways be here for him, ofcourse. When I was pregnant with Aidan, I had to be induced because of preeclapsia and I lost alot of amniotic fluid. I had vey high levels of protein, high blood pressure and I swelled up like a balloon. I was put on bed rest until I was 35 weeks and then induced. He was only 4.5lbs. I had preeclampsia with all three of my kids, but not as bad as I had with Aidan. The first night we were not sure if he would make it, but he is a fighter. He stayed in the NICU for two weeks. He had severe jaundice and had to be feed through a tube because he wiuld not eat with breast or bottle. He has been through alot since then. For the most part he is happy child, but he doesn't know how to control his anger. He doesn't know how to express his feelings verbally. I work with him everyday and I will continue to, as any parent would, but I am not giving up hope with the possibility of him having a completely normal life. I will keep you all informed. If anyone has had any similiar experiences, I would really appreciate hearing your stories. It would really help me so much.

Ann, thank you for your advice. We will keep definetely keep those possibilities in mind. You have been so kind. Thank you so much.

[b_rwhite5]

I am not sure how I managed to post that twice, but oh well. Ann, it may be none of my business, but would you mind telling me how your nephew and his parent's are doing with him now? You said that it could have been easier if he was diagnosed sooner, but would you mind telling me alittle more about him now and when he was younger? I am very curious. Please make sure that it is okay with his parents, though. Some parent's may rather not speak about their child to strangers. I would totally understand if they would rather not. I just do not know anyone who has Asbergers and it would be great to hear someone elses experience. Thanks so much!

[ViewsAskew]

I'm leaving for the day - but when I get back I will post more.

If he is an Aspie, he will have good verbal skills and be able to make eye contact - it's on of the main differentiators. One thing almost all Aspie's do that the regular population does not, is to get "stuck" on things. Dinosaurs, planes, fans, science topics - they get fascinated and don't want to talk about anything else.

More late.
r

[ViewsAskew]

I wish I could tell you more about him as a young child, but I didn't meet him until he was about 8 or 9 - he's my DH's nephew. He is one of my favorite people in the whole world, though.

The behavior is the real problem at this time (though there are plenty others). If you get an accurate diagnosis, you can make better strides with it earlier. When you wait, the tantrums can get absolutely horrible. Although it's getting a little better now, his tantrums a couple years ago could last literally 6-8 hours. He would scream, swear, and carry on. I've read about 6 books since we figured out what it was, and they all are consistent that with AS, you really need to get this under control as early as possible. There were some great books that really would have helped, but they just didn't know what it was.

By the time they figured it out, he was almost 12. Since he's VERY smart, he knows when you are trying to do something behavioral. My SIL and BIL just can't handle his explosions, so they won't force him to change. I understand how hard it must be for them to put up with it when they try to get him to change - I just don't think I could have handled it as long as they did without wanting to run away from home!

My nephew has had a really hard time in school - that's another reason you want an accurate diagnosis. Since they didn't have it, his teachers couldn't really teach to his strengths and work on weaknesses. He has been teased terribly. He has trouble with certain types of focusing, a lot of trouble with transitions and change. My SIL will work with him weeks before a change so that he doesn't freak out too much and have a tantrum. He also has OCD (very common in AS) and Tourette's (also common with AS). They're not sure if these are seperate or just a part of the AS. For awhile, the OCD was really controlling his life. It's better now.

If you find out he has it, here are some good books to read:

Parenting Your Asperger Child : Individualized Solutions for Teaching Your Child Practical Skills
I think this was my favorite. It was all about handling difficult situations and getting through the tantrums. While some of it would have to be implemented with a therapist, it was really a great book.

Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence
This a a fun, short book. It was written by a 13 year old with AS. It was great to give to my nephew to read. It made him feel like he was not so weird - he really understood his disorder by reading this.

Asperger Syndrome in Adolescence: Living with the Ups, the Downs and Things in Between
I didn't read this - just gave it to my SIL.


Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence: Helping Preteens & Teens Get Ready for the Real World
Every school with AS students should be required to read this. Great suggestions for the classroom. It did use some pretty big words, but was great at giving wonderful lists of what AS really is, how they experience the world because of how their brains work, etc. Great book for learning more and great for the schools. Just not so good for being able to implement much of that at home.

[b_rwhite5]

Ann, I just wanted to say that there's not very many people who would care to take the time to read and try to learn about AS (or any diagnoses for that matter) like you have done with your nephew. You have took the time to help your nephew and that is amazing. Most of my family and friends know about Aidans problems, but noone has ever took the time to help him. You must have a big heart and you obviously love him very much. I admire you for that.

And thank you again for everything! I will be forever grateful and I hope I can in turn be of help to you.

Aidan has had many temper tantrums. He has not had any as long as you mentioned your nephew has. I know his parents have been through so much. I know it hasn't been easy for them, but still they have obviously been right there by his side through it all. I pray that he is able to become stronger through all of this. No child should ever have to go through that and neither should any family. I do believe that God has a plan for us all and that he never gives us anything that we can't handle. Please give your nephew, SIL, and BIL a huge for me. Tell them that I truly admire them for being so strong.

I am going to find these books so his teachers and I can have a better idea of what we need to watch for. I agree with you about if he does have AS we need to find out as early as possible. Aidan has had Speech, Occupational, and Physical therapy from the time he was 10months old until just before his 3rd b-day. He has just started occupational and speech again. He also will be seeing an Early Interventionist at home once a week. His teachers are great. They have been a blessing. They are so helpful and patient with Aidan. We absoutely need to get his treatment started so he is able to live as much of a normal life as possible.I work with him at home everyday. I am going to take him to see another specialist to get a second opinion. We do need to be sure his diagnoses is accurate.

Thank you again for being so kind. Thank you so much. I hope everything is well were you are. Give my best wishes to your family. I will be praying for them.

[ViewsAskew]

Rebecca, I think there are even better books for AS in young children. I haven't read them, because he was already close to a teen when he was diagnosed. I deliberately bought things that would help him and his family now.

Regardless of what Aidan has, he has you and you sound very caring and concerned. And he has lots of other people helping, too. That is so important.

Oh, one other thing. You might want to try this. A gluten-free diet is helpful for many children with these types of difficulties. Many parents notice an almost immediate improvement in behavior. It's tough to follow, but he is young enough you might be able to do it without too many fights. You have to read all the labels, buy new products, etc. My nephew was a LOT better when GF, but he fought my SIL and BIL so hard, they gave up. Each day, over the month or so they did it, he fought harder when he couldn't have regular bread, etc. But, he really was a lot better. If you research gluten-free diet or celiac disease, you will find a LOT of information on the Internet.

[b_rwhite5]

Ann, thanks so much for your help! Aidan unfortunately is a very picky eater. He only eats about 10 or 12 different things and they all have to be a particular brand or he won't eat it. The Speech Therapy is helping me work on his Sensory Intergration issues, but no improvment yet. I am not gonna give up. Not a chance. We will continue to try everyday. I am definitely going to try to see what I can do. I will work more with the GF and hopefully I will see a difference.

Not meaning to change the subject, but my doc perscribed .25mg of Ropinrole which is basically Requip. I have taken my first dose and I am going to read some of the posts to see what I can find out. I was wondering if you have ever taken this. And if so, how did it work for you.

Please everyone, pray for my son. He really is having a tough time right now. Thank you all so much.

[ctravel12]

Rebecca, I will definitely keep your little boy in my daily prayers. I am so glad that Ann was able to give you some insight and know other members will too. May God Bless and your son.
You asked about Requip. What I am going to tell you has happened to me but everyone is different so what works for one may not work for another person. I took Requip earlier this year as I have rls for at 15+ yrs. In the beginning it worked for me I got the starter pack from my dr and then when she gave me a prescription it was for 2mg. The med made me very nauseated and then I started having rls 24/7 and very painful. I lowered the dosage to 1mg and still nauseated and finally one of the members suggested that I split the dosage; so I took .5mg around 6 pm my time and .5mg about 1-2 hrs before retiring. It definitely stopped the nausea but still had painful rls 24/7. I am now taking .5mg clonazepam and is doing fine. I am sure other members will post info to you too. I hope this will be of some help to you. There is a good post in the New to Rls on "Managing RLS" and will give you some good info too.

[ViewsAskew]

Good luck with the REquip - it works for many people. I am not able to take it, as I seem to have problems with all medications in this class.

My recommendations are to start very low - regardless of what the doc says - and increase slow. That should help guard against side effects and ensure you don't end up taking more than you need. Like, start with just 25 mg and then add 25 mg every 5 days or so. Splitting the dose, like Charlene mentioned can be helpful if you have nausea or other side effects. Also, don't plan on going anywhere after you take it for the first week or so. That will give you time to adjust and know what you feel like. Some people feel fine, some get extremely tired, others get sort of wired! if you have trouble sleeping with it, definitely tell your doc. You may need to take something else with it.

Per the picky eating, that is a very common trait of children with any kind of sensory issues. Texture can be extremely important to them. Although it's really hard, some mom's say that going gluten-free actually makes the kids less fussy because the gluten seems to keep them sort of strung out/nervous/hyper/more sensitive. But, I also know how darn hard it is to do (we are gluten-free in our home as my DH has Celiac Disease). Changing things can be really tough when there are sensory issues, too. Whatever you decide will be the right thing, I'm sure.

[b_rwhite5]

Thanks for your help and advice Charlene and Ann. I talked to my husband about trying gluten-free foods. We both decided that it definitely would be worth atleast trying. Hopefully, it will help. I took Aidan for an assessment with several educational specialists to see if he needs to be put in a class for children with Special Needs. His doc still thinks he has Autism Spectrum disorder. I am not sure. One minute I am sure he doesn't and then I get to talking with experts and reading all these books and I find myself thinking that she may be right. My poor baby has been through so much. He doesn't deserve to have to go through all of this. He is so smart and has a woderful personality. I just want him to be able to be happy and live a normal life. Being a child is hard enough.

Anyway, enough with all these tears. He had this assessment and they have recommended that he see a woman who is a Psycologist because they are concerned about his behavioral issues. He may need to be put in a class for Children with Special Needs.

I took 1mgs of the Requip. You were right about it making me sleepy. It knocked me out. I didnt have any other side affects and I am not sure if it helps yet.

Thanks so much for your prayers. He really needs them right now. And thanks so much for the support. It really means so much. I am so lucky to have found this board. I will keep you all poated, okay. Goodnight all.

[becat]

Hi B_R,
You know texture is a huge deal with Autisum children. He might be more picky about the texture than you might notice before. Also I wanted to add that the only thing I found in my research many years ago for Asperger's was social training. We did it here at home, but I understand that there are doctors that specialize in that as well.
You got a task on your hands, but that boy will be well worth the effort.
my heart and prayers and with you and your husband.
Lynne

[ViewsAskew]

Lynne has a good point about the socialization - honestly, you need to determine what it is, and then - preferably with a good therapist (but hard to find) set about with plans for socializing and behavioral control. These are two tough areas. Many Aspies do like people, which is good, but they don't really "get" how we communicate as reading body language and understanding the social rules is soooooo difficult for them. That can lead to behavior problems without intending to.

There are a lot of resources on going GF and autism. It you want a good place to find recipes and stuff, try Delphi Forums - www.delphiforums.com. Look for the celiac group -it's a HUGE group and they have great info, recipes, etc. It's not for autism, but some parents do have autistic kids. Most of the members are GF because they have celiac (or their kids do), but some members are GF for other reasons.

Oh, there is a really good Aspie group on Delphi, too. If you decide that's what it is, it might be worth checking out. It's for adult Aspies and parents/spouses of Aspies. Very, very interesting group. So, if the determination is AS, you have a good place to start.

[b_rwhite5]

Wow, Ann how do you find all this great info? I will check out the Delphi forums. You and Lynne made a few great points.Aidan does have some texture issues. When he was a baby, about 10 months, I noticed how he didn't like the way grass and dirt felt on his hands and feet. There where a few textures that would just freak him out. With therapy and lots of time, things like grass and dirt doesn't seem to bother him as much. After he finishes playing outside, he goes straight to the sink to wash his hands. When we go to the beach, he won't walk barefoot in the sand. The biggest reason why he won't try new foods is because of his texture issues. I notice little things like that all the time.

Aidan doesn't really know how to express his fellings verbally very well. He doesn't know how to say that he is sad or mad or scared. Instead he gets aggressive. He will hit other children. He's getting better and isn't as aggressive as he used to be, but sometimes for no reason at all, he will go up to a kid and slap, pinch or push them. If something doesn't go his way, he will either hit someone or hit himself. He is seeing several specialists. We will keep trying until we know why he does the things he does. It certainly isn't easy.

Thank you both for your prayers and support. I really need it and so does he. he's really trying so hard and he's so strong. Please keep him in your prayers. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!