Zach wrote:Sometimes I wonder if I should even bother trying to date, when I read about how many marriages and relationships RLS has ruined, lol
Wait.. should I be laughing ?
Yup Zach ... I think you should.
Back in January last year (it had been six months since my now ex-husband and I had separated) after some soul searching and a lil bit of cogitating i wrote the following "Finding Someone" on my MSN "My Space" Blog ...
10/01/2006
"Finding Someone"
Someone asked me a couple of months back if the "lonely blues" would ever go away and is it normal to hurt so much.
I tell ya, those "lonely blues" can send you right to the brink and you really start wondering where the heck you went wrong, why you couldn't fix it, and is this really the life that you should be living?
You start to wonder if you will attract someone who will like you for you and who you are; someone who will fall into step beside you with your problems in life. Yet you're scared that you'll turn people off because of your "baggage". On the other hand someone interested in you could be equally scared that you'll be turned off by their "baggage".
Someone else asked me if i'd found anyone that i'd like to be more interested in yet, or if i'm not thinking that far ... at the time i answered that i wasn't even thinking that far, but i'm not so sure ... there's a big difference in being alone and lonliness ...
Do you keep everyone you know at arms length until present problems have been dealt with; getting to know people for who they really are; yet risking the possibility of missing out on someone really good? Someone who is right in front of you, yet you're petrified of making a move in case you stuff it all up ... again; and do you really want to drag them through the finalities of your present problems or risk waiting until it's all over and you can start afresh.
I know there's someone out there who i can talk to about everything and nothing, or just enjoy their company in quiet surroundings; someone who has a sense of adventure and will do things spontaneously; someone with a sense of humour; is compassionate and caring and understands that some days aren't good days; someone who doesn't care where they live as long as they are comfortable with the roof over their head and the people around them ... there are always dreams and goals to be chased and achieved in the way of living; someone who can help with the mending and renewing process and more than likely understands exactly what it's like and appreciates the reciprocal understanding for their own mending and renewing.
Everyone deserves to be able to mend. Everyone deserves a chance at finding that someone who makes them feel like they can be themselves 24/7 without fear of recrimination of any kind.
I hope I make the right choice at the right time and find that special someone and that they know they have found their special someone too.
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A very good friend of mine ... a male ... responded with the following ...
Rossy
(no name)
Your comments are well spoken. what you speak of is life itself.
We all have our own little or big "issues/baggage".
Something that really gets us down can and is percieved differently in some one elses eyes, we can all relate to the way a person is feeling but we can never understand exactly what they are feeling.
We can work together to make our lives better or we can let our lives get the better of us.
Sometimes just having the presence of another being can be enough to make you feel happy.
One thing to remember "don't ever think that you have made a wrong choice, because at the time you made that choice it was the rigth one for you". Yes our choices can lead us to be hurt, but that is also a part of life. If we don't love how can we expect to be loved?
We can't change yesterday, we can enjoy today and look forward to tomorrow. it is in our hearts that we can make a difference
21/03/2006 11:11 PM
(http://spaces.msn.com/rumplestiltskin5/)
At the time of my "Finding Someone" post, I had been reaquainted with an old friend and we were taking the time to get to know each other again and catching up on lost time. That friend is Troy ... We will have been together for 12 months (officially) this Valentine's Day .... and although it doesnt seem like a long time, I couldn't ask for anyone more (in no particular order
) loving, caring, funny, charming, witty, fun-loving, empathetic, romantic, spunky, attentive, affectionate, considerate, warm-hearted, loyal, tender, spontaneous and wonderful than he already is 
which eventually promted this next "Philosophical Ramble" on my blog:30/03/2006
"Philosophical Ramblings"
Why is it that the best things usually happen right in front of your eyes when you’re not even looking for them?
Something that started out so seemingly normal so long ago; in this case a good couple of years ago; before life in general gets in the way.
Then an encounter … hmmm … not so much by chance … but an encounter that reawakens something dormant within your subconscious … then … a completely unexpected gift … and with that your subconscious gets the better of you. You wonder if its worth taking the risk to find out if what your gut instincts are yelling at you are worth listening to … “don’t let this chance go by!!!” So … you take a step off the edge … into the abyss.
You find out over a period of time that the chance was well worth the risk and that it was an equally balanced if not bigger risk from the other side as well.
The promise: “through thick and thin”.
You’re still very much aware of, and vulnerable to, who and what is happening around you and so, a risk, as with life itself, should never be treated lightly; as risks also come with inevitable consequences of some sort. However, you only get one shot at this “ride” called “life” and life would not be as it is without taking risks and chances.
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That one promise ... "through thick and thin" has been the foundation of our relationship, both with him taking on board not only me, but my RLS (and all my drugs, and crazy detox ideas, and all the frustrations of him not being able to do anything when i'm screaming for a chainsaw) and me taking on board not only him, but his three daughters, all of whom he has full custody (and therefore becoming an instant mum). Our relationship has already been tested numerous times, but neither of us has walked away simply because the situation has become undesireable.
Zach ... don't count yourself out of the dating world simply because you have RLS ... you do not know what your destiny has in store for you. Don't let your RLS control your life or define who you are. Get out into the social scene (when your RLS is being co-operative
). If you don't find your perfect match overnight ... what's the worst thing that could happen? You could make a few new friends ... who in turn have friends ... and so on.Just take it all one step at a time ... one day at a time ... and stay positive!!!
((((Hugs)))) to you from up-side-down-land ...