I already posted most of my thoughts on the thread in question, but here's something quick:
I'm certain I already cannot post the following subjects (among others) here and expect no rebuke or censorship:
- P()RN - Edit: The forum even censors the word!
- Racism
- Sexism
- Ads
- Harassment
Thus, I think it's clear that there's always been a line here that cannot be crossed. Those of you who've been fine until now were fine that others were restricted in what they say. Now that you're personally restricted, it's somewhat hypocritical to start complaining.
I think it's fine to discuss where the line is, and whether it's okay to move it in one direction or the other. I don't think it's okay to claim that the line has suddenly appeared out of thin air, or to get on the cases of those whose job it is to keep people from stepping over it.
What is this board to you?
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SquirmingSusan
- Posts: 3028
- Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:08 am
- Location: Minnesota
- Contact:
Before I go on to Ann's question, I believe I need to clarify some things. So many people are reading through the (now) locked post and not finding anything that needed to be moderated. That is because the post that I found to be inflammatory is the one I pulled. It is gone. It's not there. I tried to work it our behind the scenes, but the involved person would not edit the post. Oh, and Randy had nothing to do with the problem. Yes, if you look at the thread now, it is quite civil, and was up until I pulled the offending post.
Think of it this way. The post had paragraph after paragraph of nothing but insulting comments about people who are members of one of our larger political parties. There was nothing in there about ideas, it was all about the people and personalities. These people are (list of negative adjectives), those people are (another list of negative adjectives). Perhaps we are just too tolerant of name calling between political parties to even notice. But try to imagine if someone posted that way about black people, or gay people, or Jews, or Christians. Most of us would see the line as being much clearer. BTW, my own political views were not even a consideration in pulling the post. I did not take it personally, just saw a large group of people being insulted, and generalized about in a way that seemed inflammatory.
I love a good political debate. But debate is much different from name-calling. Discussion of ideas can actually get us somewhere; name calling can only divide.
I pulled the post because as a moderator, it is my job to keep this forum friendly to all people who come here. Yes, I had to make a decision whether to deal with that post or to wait and see if people got upset about it. I made the decision to pull it and now I'm happy to take the flak for that decision.
For me, the forum needs to be welcoming to all people. When I made that comment before that started all the uproar, I was coming from the same place. I had not felt welcomed; it seemed that there was a lot of energy going into talking with friends that had been made, and not enough effort on welcoming new people. I used I statements, and owned my own feelings and ideas. I found out that other people felt the same. That is information people can use to improve things or ignore. That is MY issue, and I spoke my peace about it. I will, and always will be concerned that new people feel welcome here.
Also, for me, the forum needs to be safe. To me that means we never have to worry about being attacked for our religious beliefs, political ideology, or sexual preference, or whatever makes us different from each other.
We moderators have been working behind the scenes on a mission statement and on general policies and guidelines. Unfortunately, we seem to need a crisis now and again to keep us focused on them. But you people are an amazing group of people in that most people here intuitively keep things safe and friendly, even without written rules. It is only on rare occasions that posts even need to be moderated. Most of you understand the "spirit of the law" without having the need for the "letter of the law."
I'm really happy to be a part of such a quality group of people, who really know to graciously give and receive support. And, like I said, the fact that we have never needed clear cut guidelines really speaks highly of everyone who participates.
BTW, I am all for having a section that is for non-RLS related discussion. I love to hear about what people do apart from this disease. I'd hate to see that go away.
OK, ending my novel for now...
Think of it this way. The post had paragraph after paragraph of nothing but insulting comments about people who are members of one of our larger political parties. There was nothing in there about ideas, it was all about the people and personalities. These people are (list of negative adjectives), those people are (another list of negative adjectives). Perhaps we are just too tolerant of name calling between political parties to even notice. But try to imagine if someone posted that way about black people, or gay people, or Jews, or Christians. Most of us would see the line as being much clearer. BTW, my own political views were not even a consideration in pulling the post. I did not take it personally, just saw a large group of people being insulted, and generalized about in a way that seemed inflammatory.
I love a good political debate. But debate is much different from name-calling. Discussion of ideas can actually get us somewhere; name calling can only divide.
I pulled the post because as a moderator, it is my job to keep this forum friendly to all people who come here. Yes, I had to make a decision whether to deal with that post or to wait and see if people got upset about it. I made the decision to pull it and now I'm happy to take the flak for that decision.
For me, the forum needs to be welcoming to all people. When I made that comment before that started all the uproar, I was coming from the same place. I had not felt welcomed; it seemed that there was a lot of energy going into talking with friends that had been made, and not enough effort on welcoming new people. I used I statements, and owned my own feelings and ideas. I found out that other people felt the same. That is information people can use to improve things or ignore. That is MY issue, and I spoke my peace about it. I will, and always will be concerned that new people feel welcome here.
Also, for me, the forum needs to be safe. To me that means we never have to worry about being attacked for our religious beliefs, political ideology, or sexual preference, or whatever makes us different from each other.
We moderators have been working behind the scenes on a mission statement and on general policies and guidelines. Unfortunately, we seem to need a crisis now and again to keep us focused on them. But you people are an amazing group of people in that most people here intuitively keep things safe and friendly, even without written rules. It is only on rare occasions that posts even need to be moderated. Most of you understand the "spirit of the law" without having the need for the "letter of the law."
I'm really happy to be a part of such a quality group of people, who really know to graciously give and receive support. And, like I said, the fact that we have never needed clear cut guidelines really speaks highly of everyone who participates.
BTW, I am all for having a section that is for non-RLS related discussion. I love to hear about what people do apart from this disease. I'd hate to see that go away.
OK, ending my novel for now...
Susan
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cmoore1958
- Posts: 232
- Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
- Location: Texas
Rubyslipper wrote:I'd hate to lose some of my friends I have just recently met due to this issue. I hope I don't. I myself, have used the non-rls forum for stress relief (you read my wonderful poem, right?) and I think it is an avenue for those of us (all of us) who can't sleep nights to occupy our time when we'd rather be screaming.
I agree completely with you that we need this part of the board to stay connected and sane. We have lost people in the past because of ill-timed or mis-spoken remarks. I would hate to see it happen again. The simple fact is that we need each other to get through this. That may mean that we talk exclusively about RLS or that we use some other topic to get our minds around our RLS problems. Common courtesy goes a long way and that is aimed at myself as well as everyone connected to this board.
I vote to keep this as a place to come together.
Very well said and agree to keep it as a place to come together as a family. I know I have come to site in the past when I had medical complications and the support was absolutely wonderful and that is what we need back.
Cyn you will never lose my friendship nor the family on this board.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time
Taking one day at a time
Ok, I guess if whether we should have a non-rls forum is part of "What is this board to you" then I guess I am on safe ground. So, mods. please leave this alone.
I personally like the non-rls forum or think it can have a place. I know that there were many sleepless nights that I enjoyed the movie game or other such diversions. But, while I might be able to find those distractions elsewhere what the rls forums provide I cannot. By it nature and definition, the non-rls forum seems the most likely place where a cloud of dust might surface but by no stretch of the imagination does that mean it's the only forum where dust can accumulate. So, I guess the goal is still to try to post as best we can knowing that indeed "we are not alone" I do not want this forum to be a place where anything goes but yet want it to be a place where freedom to express is important and diversity is valued. I don't know that those are mutually exclusive or at least certainly hope not.
M.
I personally like the non-rls forum or think it can have a place. I know that there were many sleepless nights that I enjoyed the movie game or other such diversions. But, while I might be able to find those distractions elsewhere what the rls forums provide I cannot. By it nature and definition, the non-rls forum seems the most likely place where a cloud of dust might surface but by no stretch of the imagination does that mean it's the only forum where dust can accumulate. So, I guess the goal is still to try to post as best we can knowing that indeed "we are not alone" I do not want this forum to be a place where anything goes but yet want it to be a place where freedom to express is important and diversity is valued. I don't know that those are mutually exclusive or at least certainly hope not.
M.
This post simply reflects opinion. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Some assembly required.
Hello everyone,
Susan, I just read your post and had no idea of what you had to deal with. I'm sorry it got so bad...all it takes is one person. I didn't see the post you had to pull and glad of it. I was lucky enough to met several of the regulars on this board in person a few years ago, two of which are moderators, so I can tell everyone that we're in good hands. Hopefully I'll met you and Mark sometime. Over the years this site has helped me a lot with my RLS. But I especially enjoy the Non-RLS forum because it's a nice break from all the medical stuff.
I consider you all good friends and with some I've discussed various issues in E-mail exchanges over the years. That's what friends do.
have a great weekend, mike
Susan, I just read your post and had no idea of what you had to deal with. I'm sorry it got so bad...all it takes is one person. I didn't see the post you had to pull and glad of it. I was lucky enough to met several of the regulars on this board in person a few years ago, two of which are moderators, so I can tell everyone that we're in good hands. Hopefully I'll met you and Mark sometime. Over the years this site has helped me a lot with my RLS. But I especially enjoy the Non-RLS forum because it's a nice break from all the medical stuff.
I consider you all good friends and with some I've discussed various issues in E-mail exchanges over the years. That's what friends do.
have a great weekend, mike
Non RLS postings
Hi All.
Well, no one has ever accused me of being quiet, so here goes.
We need this site. RLS /PLMD takes up so much of our lives, we need a place to come together and get to know one another.
What we may need to take into consideration is the fact that when we post, there are times when we are overly tired, under medicated, and at wits end and coming here to find a friend is the best thing we have going for us when we are in that position.
The safe harbor I have found here is priceless to me.
The people truly seen to care about each other, and it's just like any other family. We are not always going to agree on everything.. We may sometimes say things without thinking.We are human. We don't always do what is right.
But to lose this board would be terrble.
We do have other issues in our lives and sometimes coming here to discuss them is the only place we can discuss them !
As for a moderator, that is what they do. I had more to say but my glass of wine at dinner was a bad idea and my arms are going off and my legs are screaming, so I am off and kicking and flailing. Gonna be a house cleaning night tonight!
Lorabell
aka
wowobl
Well, no one has ever accused me of being quiet, so here goes.
We need this site. RLS /PLMD takes up so much of our lives, we need a place to come together and get to know one another.
What we may need to take into consideration is the fact that when we post, there are times when we are overly tired, under medicated, and at wits end and coming here to find a friend is the best thing we have going for us when we are in that position.
The safe harbor I have found here is priceless to me.
The people truly seen to care about each other, and it's just like any other family. We are not always going to agree on everything.. We may sometimes say things without thinking.We are human. We don't always do what is right.
But to lose this board would be terrble.
We do have other issues in our lives and sometimes coming here to discuss them is the only place we can discuss them !
As for a moderator, that is what they do. I had more to say but my glass of wine at dinner was a bad idea and my arms are going off and my legs are screaming, so I am off and kicking and flailing. Gonna be a house cleaning night tonight!
Lorabell
aka
wowobl
Always remember, if you cut off your limbs, you'll have phantom rls and nothing to rub .LOL
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ViewsAskew
- Moderator
- Posts: 16580
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:37 am
- Location: Los Angeles
Lorabell's post about how much we need this made me take notice...I hope no one thinks that the board is in danger of being eliminated for any reason. It isn't going away. The Foundation consistently reiterates to the moderators how important they know that it is for us. Recently we were conversing about how we might expand it. No plans, just general ideas, but that conveys to me that there are no problems.
Most of us will not choose to be here forever. Some no longer need help, some find other support, some become disenchanted for one reason or another, some simply find other things to occupy their time (worthwhile ones!). In this ebb and flow of people, thousands of RLS sufferers will need this board at all times. In ten years, it will still be here (maybe in a new format, as times do change), and many of us many not. That's how things are. But, the people who are here will be just like us.
I strongly believe, as has already been pointed out, that this is an opportunity to strengthen the board and our efforts to provide a bit of a compass to both the moderators and the members will ultimately bring us greater peace. And, as already has been pointed out, the people here are good people with huge hearts and who successfully self-moderate the vast majority of the time. As Lorabell just said, sometimes sleep deprivation, drugs, and the roller coaster of feelings related to RLS take a bit of a toll on how we post.
Most of us will not choose to be here forever. Some no longer need help, some find other support, some become disenchanted for one reason or another, some simply find other things to occupy their time (worthwhile ones!). In this ebb and flow of people, thousands of RLS sufferers will need this board at all times. In ten years, it will still be here (maybe in a new format, as times do change), and many of us many not. That's how things are. But, the people who are here will be just like us.
I strongly believe, as has already been pointed out, that this is an opportunity to strengthen the board and our efforts to provide a bit of a compass to both the moderators and the members will ultimately bring us greater peace. And, as already has been pointed out, the people here are good people with huge hearts and who successfully self-moderate the vast majority of the time. As Lorabell just said, sometimes sleep deprivation, drugs, and the roller coaster of feelings related to RLS take a bit of a toll on how we post.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
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cornelia
Susan, like Rubyslipper, I thought that you were a bit too harsh in your posts in the closed threat, overreacting; now that you have explained why this thought has gone. Thank you for that.
So actually all this is about communication? If Susan had explained right away that she got rid of a post and why this wouldn't have happened? Maybe a lesson to learn.
Anyway, glad to be part of this forum.
Corrie
So actually all this is about communication? If Susan had explained right away that she got rid of a post and why this wouldn't have happened? Maybe a lesson to learn.
Anyway, glad to be part of this forum.
Corrie
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Walking After Midnight
- Posts: 649
- Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:23 am
- Location: Portage, Indiana
- Contact:
I agree with Ann's comment about this board being made up of two different types of people. If the Non-RLS forum was removed, I don't think I'd have much to say, which tells you which of those two types I am. But...I use the "Education" forums all the time to get educated, and the Brains of the Board are always making their way over to the goof-around and off topic discussions.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I don't choose my companions on whether or not they agree with me about everything, and if they don't they find a charming way to say it. So what. We disagree and maybe you'd never say it the way I said it. But we still get along just fine. Maybe the "LINE" is in a slightly different place for you than me. Big deal.
Having said that...there is a "LINE". There's definitely some things I wouldn't expect to see un-edited. Everyone here seems to know where it is.
Ack! All this PCness is tiring.
I think we just keep on going the way we always have. It seems to be working.
I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I don't choose my companions on whether or not they agree with me about everything, and if they don't they find a charming way to say it. So what. We disagree and maybe you'd never say it the way I said it. But we still get along just fine. Maybe the "LINE" is in a slightly different place for you than me. Big deal.
Having said that...there is a "LINE". There's definitely some things I wouldn't expect to see un-edited. Everyone here seems to know where it is.
Ack! All this PCness is tiring.
I think we just keep on going the way we always have. It seems to be working.
My 2 cents,
if folks want to discuss things like politics or religion then use forums that are dedicated to these subjects imo.
Most boards have lounge areas that allow a lot of subject matter except the ones i mentioned above due to the sensitivity of them. Most Terms of Service agreements will say so. Maybe they should be added to the TOS here.
As too free speech, democracy and other such things, this is a privately owned board as already mentioned. There is a set of rules that need to be adhered too, which, the mods do there best to enforce and do quite well if i may say so. It's a tough job, i know, i used to be one for 4 years on another board. U have to walk a fine line at times pleasing some and at the same time, pissing off others.
snowbound
if folks want to discuss things like politics or religion then use forums that are dedicated to these subjects imo.
Most boards have lounge areas that allow a lot of subject matter except the ones i mentioned above due to the sensitivity of them. Most Terms of Service agreements will say so. Maybe they should be added to the TOS here.
As too free speech, democracy and other such things, this is a privately owned board as already mentioned. There is a set of rules that need to be adhered too, which, the mods do there best to enforce and do quite well if i may say so. It's a tough job, i know, i used to be one for 4 years on another board. U have to walk a fine line at times pleasing some and at the same time, pissing off others.
snowbound
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. ~ J. Pierpoint Morgan
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Polar Bear
- Moderator
- Posts: 8815
- Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:34 pm
- Location: United Kingdom
In every part of life there are rules by which we must abide. The moderators work hard and put in a lot of time. I reckon if a moderator feels that someone has spoken in some way inappropriately then he or she (the moderator) is entitled to tug the chain a little. Considering how well used this site is, I reckon we all do ok. I don't mind being pulled to heel if necessary.
None of us are perfect and I am quite sure that any one of us could inadvertently speak 'out of turn' and we are all capable of dealing with it if we are told we have done so.
Betty
None of us are perfect and I am quite sure that any one of us could inadvertently speak 'out of turn' and we are all capable of dealing with it if we are told we have done so.
Betty
Betty
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation
Consider this post a figment of your imagination ... i'm not here and wont be here again for quite a while.
Lynne, Ann, I thought long and hard about sitting on my hands on this one. I only came onto the board because I'd received a PM and decided to check what had been posted since i'd been in last ... well ... you Mods want opinions ...
This board ... what does the NON-RLS topic thread mean to me? Well here's a few topics i've used this thread for:
- sharing funny stories
- having nowhere else to go when a close personal family friend passed away from one of the most horrid diseases MSA (Multiple System Atropy) and being able to come and have a "cry"
- needing a vent about an accident that is in no way connected to my RLS and has become an ongoing, life changing, torturous "adventure"
- seeking advice regarding neighbours who've gone the whole hog and accused you of doing things you havent done
- putting up lists of favourite books and movies and seeing what other members like to read and watch
It's been a fantastic place to share family stories. Particularly the thread that Ruby started last year and it just kept on going and going and going. Everyone jumped in and had a good old down to earth gossip.
That's what it should be ... The Family Room ... General Gossip; General Info; Who's seen the latest blockbuster movie and what they thought; Has anyone read this book or can someone recommend a good movie or book; What's going on in general family life (e.g. a daughter gaining her Veterinarian Degree) ... That's what this thread should be all about ... us being a Family ... and having a thread that is "off topic" so to speak, but allows us to get to know each other that little bit more each time we visit.
Questions about different types of beds and mattresses. Don't see why that should have to be tossed out. There's nothing better than seeking the opinions of others on the topic that is closest to our heart ... sleep!
I used to be a part of the Yahoo RLS Discussion Group but left in absolute disgust in late 2004. Why?
- Religion
- Politics
- Happy Grass ... which was rather surprising, but hey, wat do I know, I'm just a dumbass Aussie.
My goodness, I had never ever ever seen such blatant and abhorent treatment of boardmembers. It was downright childish at times! That they have a HUGE number of members means nothing to me ... it's the QUALITY of the input from the members that means the most ... and the quality was the equivalent of dirty dishwater.
Yeah, I remember the "Lovefest" thread. For anyone who's a regular and who's been a member during the most important growing period of this board, the first 12-18 months ... it was downright INSULTING!!! The worst bit ... one of the people firing off at us ... is now a Moderator ... go figure!
Yeah, I had the GUTS to ask the mods to put a padlock on the "Our Meds" thread because it had gone COMPLETELY off the topic and we were discussing whether or not a father should be given custody of his children. Politics pretty much ... don't need it in here ... chuck a padlock on the bloody thing! That's all I asked for. Instead ... "play nice please" ... yeah right ... Dee's already admitted she's up for a verbal stoush ... hence my "i'm outta here".
I'm an Aussie. I call a spade a spade. If I insult you or upset you, 99% of the time I don't mean it and have just been typing out what's whirling around in my brain, so for gawd's sakes, get into PM or email me and sort it out. I am human after all! Ask the people on this board who've known me the longest, or who're relatively new and have gotten to know me quickly ... I might live a few thousand miles away, but if you want a friend for life ... you'll have one in me. I'll quote Rubyslipper once again (although not quite the exact words) ... "I've never been an Aussie's mate before and I find that I quite like it"
Yeah, I sometimes stick both feet in my mouth around here ... and I usually get hauled over a bit of barbed-wire for it, but hey ... what is it that y'all yell and scream about in the US? That precious amendment of yours about 'free speech' an all? I'm all for free speech, but I was brought up to know that if you DONT have something NICE or RELEVANT or NON-CONFRONTATIONAL to say ... KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT (or in my case ... I get told to sit on my hands!).
If you're going to slap a few restrictions on the Non-RLS thread go for the basics:
- religion
- politics
- conspiracy theories (about ANYTHING!)
- race relations
That last one is a particularly poingnant one here in Australia at the moment. If y'all have bothered to watch the right tv news channels or web news sites during this past week, you will know that February 13th 2008 will forever be stamped in the history of Australia as THE DAY we said SORRY to our Aboriginal brothers and sisters for the atrocities that were committed by previous governments between 1901 and 1975. Now I was born in 1975, so I have no friggin idea of what the governments got up to ... REALLY ... all that government censorship priviledge crappola ... but I've got a damned good idea of what did go on from the history lessons that were taught at school. Yes, it's true that the minority get a shockingly bad name from the majority, but you have to put that aside when it all boils down to helping the people who live in the same country as you, and who are the indigenous people of this proud nation. So, yes, I was proud to say "Sorry" to my fellow indigenous Australians.
Zach and Dee ... If you're gonna be THAT outspoken ... and freely admit to it ... then dont be surprised if your posts start disappearing or if you cop a "cut it out" from the Mods. If you REALLY have to have your opinion out there for everyone to see by all means, go and create your own Yahoo Group and put a simple link to it in here somewhere and say "all are welcome!" Would that be so hard to do? Putting out posts that actually state "this may or may not get me into trouble" ... well ... duh ... what do you think? It's pretty simple logic ... or has logic been thrown out the window on this topic as well? Dee, yeah great, you're gonna have trouble in the US gettin your meds ... do you EVER think about the people who live OUTSIDE the good ol US of A? There's fair few of us ... all in the same boat as you. By all means have a whinge ... we'll whinge with you, but if you go off topic, be prepared to have the topic thrown back in your face or have a severe reprimand come down on you from the Mods.
Again ... Mods ... you were chosen because you're the "most level headed" of the group. Lord knows I'll never get even a look in at the job. So ... rather that letting us let fly at each other on those sensitive topics that I mentioned above, or any other topics YOU deem to be heading into dangerous waters; pull us up ... immediately ... or ... lock the damn thread ... it's that simple. If you cop flack from the posters, sorry, I thought that was part of the Mod's Position Description. As for the posters ... don't say you weren't warned. If you don't like the area, situation or topic ... go find another one.
It is blatantly obviously logically simple ... check the thread ... if you see a topic that piques your interest, by all means read it. If you don't; do what I or any other logical person would do and go to the next main thread. I cant remember a rule or any legislation being passed saying that "thou MUST read the Non-RLS thread ... however, thou MUST keep quiet if a topic within this thread offends thou in any way".
The target is open if anyone wants to take pot shots at me ... but I must tell you ... the waiting line to do that is rather long, so you'd be better off putting your time to better use. Oh, and I can't guarantee that i'd even sink to your level anyway, so you've got a bit of a dilemna there.
In summary ... keep the thread. Mods, i mean no disrespect here, but you have been given the job of ensuring that things dont get out of hand. Use the KISS method: Keep It Simple, Stupid! I've outlined what I don't like seeing and I think you'll find that anyone who's read or is reading this thread and who dont respond for whatever reason, will be nodding their heads in agreement.
Mods ... it's in your hands ... if you choose to berate me for telling it like I see it, go ahead, it wont be the first time. You know I do not deliberatly go after confrontational posts (learnt my lesson way back with the Trolls). Lynne and Ann, you've known me the longest, and know that I dont wade into these things lightly. This board and it's family, has saved my life, literally on more than one occassion. so Susan and Mark, if you've got a problem with what i've written, by all means, take it up with Lynne and Ann, or with me (they both know how to contact me for the time being).
This apparition is outta here ... again ... those who know ... you know where I am and how to reach me ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the way ... if this post suddenly disappears or is edited ... i'll know ... i'm one of those "cover your a$$" and keep a copy people when it comes to "sensitive" topics
Lynne, Ann, I thought long and hard about sitting on my hands on this one. I only came onto the board because I'd received a PM and decided to check what had been posted since i'd been in last ... well ... you Mods want opinions ...
This board ... what does the NON-RLS topic thread mean to me? Well here's a few topics i've used this thread for:
- sharing funny stories
- having nowhere else to go when a close personal family friend passed away from one of the most horrid diseases MSA (Multiple System Atropy) and being able to come and have a "cry"
- needing a vent about an accident that is in no way connected to my RLS and has become an ongoing, life changing, torturous "adventure"
- seeking advice regarding neighbours who've gone the whole hog and accused you of doing things you havent done
- putting up lists of favourite books and movies and seeing what other members like to read and watch
It's been a fantastic place to share family stories. Particularly the thread that Ruby started last year and it just kept on going and going and going. Everyone jumped in and had a good old down to earth gossip.
That's what it should be ... The Family Room ... General Gossip; General Info; Who's seen the latest blockbuster movie and what they thought; Has anyone read this book or can someone recommend a good movie or book; What's going on in general family life (e.g. a daughter gaining her Veterinarian Degree) ... That's what this thread should be all about ... us being a Family ... and having a thread that is "off topic" so to speak, but allows us to get to know each other that little bit more each time we visit.
Questions about different types of beds and mattresses. Don't see why that should have to be tossed out. There's nothing better than seeking the opinions of others on the topic that is closest to our heart ... sleep!
I used to be a part of the Yahoo RLS Discussion Group but left in absolute disgust in late 2004. Why?
- Religion
- Politics
- Happy Grass ... which was rather surprising, but hey, wat do I know, I'm just a dumbass Aussie.
My goodness, I had never ever ever seen such blatant and abhorent treatment of boardmembers. It was downright childish at times! That they have a HUGE number of members means nothing to me ... it's the QUALITY of the input from the members that means the most ... and the quality was the equivalent of dirty dishwater.
Yeah, I remember the "Lovefest" thread. For anyone who's a regular and who's been a member during the most important growing period of this board, the first 12-18 months ... it was downright INSULTING!!! The worst bit ... one of the people firing off at us ... is now a Moderator ... go figure!
Yeah, I had the GUTS to ask the mods to put a padlock on the "Our Meds" thread because it had gone COMPLETELY off the topic and we were discussing whether or not a father should be given custody of his children. Politics pretty much ... don't need it in here ... chuck a padlock on the bloody thing! That's all I asked for. Instead ... "play nice please" ... yeah right ... Dee's already admitted she's up for a verbal stoush ... hence my "i'm outta here".
I'm an Aussie. I call a spade a spade. If I insult you or upset you, 99% of the time I don't mean it and have just been typing out what's whirling around in my brain, so for gawd's sakes, get into PM or email me and sort it out. I am human after all! Ask the people on this board who've known me the longest, or who're relatively new and have gotten to know me quickly ... I might live a few thousand miles away, but if you want a friend for life ... you'll have one in me. I'll quote Rubyslipper once again (although not quite the exact words) ... "I've never been an Aussie's mate before and I find that I quite like it"
Yeah, I sometimes stick both feet in my mouth around here ... and I usually get hauled over a bit of barbed-wire for it, but hey ... what is it that y'all yell and scream about in the US? That precious amendment of yours about 'free speech' an all? I'm all for free speech, but I was brought up to know that if you DONT have something NICE or RELEVANT or NON-CONFRONTATIONAL to say ... KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT (or in my case ... I get told to sit on my hands!).
If you're going to slap a few restrictions on the Non-RLS thread go for the basics:
- religion
- politics
- conspiracy theories (about ANYTHING!)
- race relations
That last one is a particularly poingnant one here in Australia at the moment. If y'all have bothered to watch the right tv news channels or web news sites during this past week, you will know that February 13th 2008 will forever be stamped in the history of Australia as THE DAY we said SORRY to our Aboriginal brothers and sisters for the atrocities that were committed by previous governments between 1901 and 1975. Now I was born in 1975, so I have no friggin idea of what the governments got up to ... REALLY ... all that government censorship priviledge crappola ... but I've got a damned good idea of what did go on from the history lessons that were taught at school. Yes, it's true that the minority get a shockingly bad name from the majority, but you have to put that aside when it all boils down to helping the people who live in the same country as you, and who are the indigenous people of this proud nation. So, yes, I was proud to say "Sorry" to my fellow indigenous Australians.
Zach and Dee ... If you're gonna be THAT outspoken ... and freely admit to it ... then dont be surprised if your posts start disappearing or if you cop a "cut it out" from the Mods. If you REALLY have to have your opinion out there for everyone to see by all means, go and create your own Yahoo Group and put a simple link to it in here somewhere and say "all are welcome!" Would that be so hard to do? Putting out posts that actually state "this may or may not get me into trouble" ... well ... duh ... what do you think? It's pretty simple logic ... or has logic been thrown out the window on this topic as well? Dee, yeah great, you're gonna have trouble in the US gettin your meds ... do you EVER think about the people who live OUTSIDE the good ol US of A? There's fair few of us ... all in the same boat as you. By all means have a whinge ... we'll whinge with you, but if you go off topic, be prepared to have the topic thrown back in your face or have a severe reprimand come down on you from the Mods.
Again ... Mods ... you were chosen because you're the "most level headed" of the group. Lord knows I'll never get even a look in at the job. So ... rather that letting us let fly at each other on those sensitive topics that I mentioned above, or any other topics YOU deem to be heading into dangerous waters; pull us up ... immediately ... or ... lock the damn thread ... it's that simple. If you cop flack from the posters, sorry, I thought that was part of the Mod's Position Description. As for the posters ... don't say you weren't warned. If you don't like the area, situation or topic ... go find another one.
It is blatantly obviously logically simple ... check the thread ... if you see a topic that piques your interest, by all means read it. If you don't; do what I or any other logical person would do and go to the next main thread. I cant remember a rule or any legislation being passed saying that "thou MUST read the Non-RLS thread ... however, thou MUST keep quiet if a topic within this thread offends thou in any way".
The target is open if anyone wants to take pot shots at me ... but I must tell you ... the waiting line to do that is rather long, so you'd be better off putting your time to better use. Oh, and I can't guarantee that i'd even sink to your level anyway, so you've got a bit of a dilemna there.
In summary ... keep the thread. Mods, i mean no disrespect here, but you have been given the job of ensuring that things dont get out of hand. Use the KISS method: Keep It Simple, Stupid! I've outlined what I don't like seeing and I think you'll find that anyone who's read or is reading this thread and who dont respond for whatever reason, will be nodding their heads in agreement.
Mods ... it's in your hands ... if you choose to berate me for telling it like I see it, go ahead, it wont be the first time. You know I do not deliberatly go after confrontational posts (learnt my lesson way back with the Trolls). Lynne and Ann, you've known me the longest, and know that I dont wade into these things lightly. This board and it's family, has saved my life, literally on more than one occassion. so Susan and Mark, if you've got a problem with what i've written, by all means, take it up with Lynne and Ann, or with me (they both know how to contact me for the time being).
This apparition is outta here ... again ... those who know ... you know where I am and how to reach me ...
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By the way ... if this post suddenly disappears or is edited ... i'll know ... i'm one of those "cover your a$$" and keep a copy people when it comes to "sensitive" topics
Nadia
My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!
My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!
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ViewsAskew
- Moderator
- Posts: 16580
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:37 am
- Location: Los Angeles
I think I speak for everyone at the Foundation and among us mods when I say thank you all.
I've always known that we have a great bunch of people here. And you consistently prove it.
We each see things differently and in that, there is no right or wrong. There are things that work better or worse, sometimes. Or makes less or more waves.
It's clear to me that the Foundation wants this board to be about RLS. And that RLS has a personal component. It seems to me that you all asked a long time ago to have a non-RLS section, the Foundation was reticent (they didn't want anything like what has happened to happen), and we said it would be fine.
It's still fine.
In life, we all see anger, miscommunication, and conflict differently, too. To some of us, we'd attach very negative words at the thought of conflict. We might like to hide from it. Others of us relish it, for various reasons. And, some of us might see it as a positive - as something that contributes to growth, change and betterment in some way, shape or form.
I choose to see this as a good thing. Does that mean I like it? No. But it means that this is, to me, something we need to do. This board has grown in many ways. We need to acknowledge and accept--all of us--that this board means different things to different people and that we ALL have a place here. That may not mean that all things have a place here, however.
I hope more of you continue to add your say. Again, please let's not make this personal. We all have a right to feel how we feel - and it takes courage to share it. I applaud all of you who have had the courage to do so, even when you know another person may see it differently.
The outgrowth of this will be a mission statement AND a set of general guidelines. We will draft them based on our thoughts and what YOU tell us you want from this place. Then we will send them to the Foundation and they will decide what's in the final. It's their site, they pay the bill and we are only here through their generosity.
These will act as a guideline to all of us. It will help everyone know what posts stay, and what posts go.
If anyone is distressed over this, I would hope that you would find a way to breathe easy. The board will not disappear. This section will most likely stay right where it is. And we will continue to do what we do best: support and encourage each other as related to our RLS.
I've always known that we have a great bunch of people here. And you consistently prove it.
We each see things differently and in that, there is no right or wrong. There are things that work better or worse, sometimes. Or makes less or more waves.
It's clear to me that the Foundation wants this board to be about RLS. And that RLS has a personal component. It seems to me that you all asked a long time ago to have a non-RLS section, the Foundation was reticent (they didn't want anything like what has happened to happen), and we said it would be fine.
It's still fine.
In life, we all see anger, miscommunication, and conflict differently, too. To some of us, we'd attach very negative words at the thought of conflict. We might like to hide from it. Others of us relish it, for various reasons. And, some of us might see it as a positive - as something that contributes to growth, change and betterment in some way, shape or form.
I choose to see this as a good thing. Does that mean I like it? No. But it means that this is, to me, something we need to do. This board has grown in many ways. We need to acknowledge and accept--all of us--that this board means different things to different people and that we ALL have a place here. That may not mean that all things have a place here, however.
I hope more of you continue to add your say. Again, please let's not make this personal. We all have a right to feel how we feel - and it takes courage to share it. I applaud all of you who have had the courage to do so, even when you know another person may see it differently.
The outgrowth of this will be a mission statement AND a set of general guidelines. We will draft them based on our thoughts and what YOU tell us you want from this place. Then we will send them to the Foundation and they will decide what's in the final. It's their site, they pay the bill and we are only here through their generosity.
These will act as a guideline to all of us. It will help everyone know what posts stay, and what posts go.
If anyone is distressed over this, I would hope that you would find a way to breathe easy. The board will not disappear. This section will most likely stay right where it is. And we will continue to do what we do best: support and encourage each other as related to our RLS.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
we all know we have had these little tiffs before....and soon it will be forgotten.....besides it is actually kind of funny....most of you are doing the same thing I did, speaking your mind about something that has been posted on this board that you don't agree with....and not being very PC about it....ironic ain't it?
thanks for mentioning me nadia...i still don't get the connection on me and meds and the current topic ..but o well...
dee
just cooling my heels for a while
thanks for mentioning me nadia...i still don't get the connection on me and meds and the current topic ..but o well...
dee
just cooling my heels for a while
I feel like a science project!!!
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945