The discussion that started in the political thread has brought up an interesting question that the moderators asked ourselves awhile back. We have been in the process of trying to answer it.
What is the purpose of this forum? Maybe it's different to each of us. I would imagine that the Foundation has its idea of what it does and since they graciously funds it, their perspective is important. We all use it, so our perspective is important, too.
What we'd like to do is create a mission statement - something that we post so everyone knows what this board is here for. Along with that will be some general guidelines about posting. Most forums/boards have such guidelines.
As the forum grows, sometimes there will be some growing pains. In the last few months, we'd have several discussions that highlighted that several of us see this board from differing perspectives. This has led to some heated discussions.
I would welcome anyone's input regarding what they see as the purpose of the board. What do you want from it? How can it best support you and meet your needs? What guidelines are important to you and what would offend you?
Whatever we learn from this we will share with the Foundation and then we can finalize the mission and guidelines.
(edited for spelling mistake and to clarify title)
What is this board to you?
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ViewsAskew
- Moderator
- Posts: 16581
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:37 am
- Location: Los Angeles
What is this board to you?
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
i'll wait till everyone is up today and reads those post, and then i will make my decision on whether i want to hang around this board or not.
but you can bet i will have a final say..
you know how i was chosen to be a part of an article for redbook, and for the washington post. they picked me because of my outspokeness on this board.
you think about that...
.you know keeping all that frustration and hostility inside will kill you.
signed
the instigator or the ***** whichever you prefer..
but you can bet i will have a final say..
you know how i was chosen to be a part of an article for redbook, and for the washington post. they picked me because of my outspokeness on this board.
you think about that...
.you know keeping all that frustration and hostility inside will kill you.
signed
the instigator or the ***** whichever you prefer..
I feel like a science project!!!
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
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cornelia
I see this board as a means for online discussion on RLS in the broadest sense (don't know if this is good English) of the word.
For me there doesn't have to be a special non-RLS section, this is asking for trouble, especially regarding political subjects (as we see).
So: for me this board should just be about RLS and it's impact on life.
Corrie
For me there doesn't have to be a special non-RLS section, this is asking for trouble, especially regarding political subjects (as we see).
So: for me this board should just be about RLS and it's impact on life.
Corrie
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cmoore1958
- Posts: 232
- Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
- Location: Texas
I am fairly new to the board, but not new to RLS. When I searched out this forum I was looking for support and answers to questions. I found both. I did not find these things in the non-rls forum.
While I see the need for us to be able to talk about things other than RLS, I do not feel this is prohibited in the other topic forums.
The very last thing any of us rls sufferers need is more stress. The recent discussion ended in stress . . . which is destructive to RLS -- definitely not what those of us suffering come to the board to read.
I believe the purpose of the board to be that of a place to go for those suffering from RLS or their family/friends, when we all need it most. What better place to gain knowledge that from people who have been there and/or are going through the same thing right now. The wealth of information I have gained has been comforting, informative, and scarey. But, I do believe supportive in every way to know I'm not alone in my situation. I did not get any of this support from the non-rls discussions and wonder if that forum belongs on this discussion board at all. Personally, I will not be sad to see that topic go away.
Cyndi
While I see the need for us to be able to talk about things other than RLS, I do not feel this is prohibited in the other topic forums.
The very last thing any of us rls sufferers need is more stress. The recent discussion ended in stress . . . which is destructive to RLS -- definitely not what those of us suffering come to the board to read.
I believe the purpose of the board to be that of a place to go for those suffering from RLS or their family/friends, when we all need it most. What better place to gain knowledge that from people who have been there and/or are going through the same thing right now. The wealth of information I have gained has been comforting, informative, and scarey. But, I do believe supportive in every way to know I'm not alone in my situation. I did not get any of this support from the non-rls discussions and wonder if that forum belongs on this discussion board at all. Personally, I will not be sad to see that topic go away.
Cyndi
Even when we are by ourselves, we are never truly alone.
My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.
My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.
well now i see why jan left...so i am with zach....i will not sacrifice my beliefs for censorship. just won't do it... never have...not going to start now.
so to the people i talked to the most i won't mention names because i would hate for you to have to listen to a bunch of bs because of me...sorry to leave but not much of a choice...i don't bend over for anyone.
yes this board is for RLS but if you let it consume your life...then what kinda of life do you have? i personally enjoyed the non RLS part...namely because it took my mind off of why i am on this message board in the first place...Randy I will certainly miss our sparring rounds very much...it was a blast...you are one cool dude!!! i'll get you a tiara too.
and last....you 2 moderators need to chill out....it's gone to your head!
“Censorship is the very wall that holds creativity back from complete freedom; because without Exposure to the good and the bad, the acceptable and inappropriate, and the offensive and polite, how will the mind thrive for more than what is given?”
so to the people i talked to the most i won't mention names because i would hate for you to have to listen to a bunch of bs because of me...sorry to leave but not much of a choice...i don't bend over for anyone.
yes this board is for RLS but if you let it consume your life...then what kinda of life do you have? i personally enjoyed the non RLS part...namely because it took my mind off of why i am on this message board in the first place...Randy I will certainly miss our sparring rounds very much...it was a blast...you are one cool dude!!! i'll get you a tiara too.
and last....you 2 moderators need to chill out....it's gone to your head!
“Censorship is the very wall that holds creativity back from complete freedom; because without Exposure to the good and the bad, the acceptable and inappropriate, and the offensive and polite, how will the mind thrive for more than what is given?”
I feel like a science project!!!
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
Hi everyone
The way i see it is the moderators are doing a great job, ok this is an non-rls section but for goodness sake keep politics and also religion off the boards . In this world they cause so much biggotry, hatred , death , arguing and bad feeling surley you can all see that, look whats happened here already.....everyone is at each others throats, for what...
I am on a discussion board in uk and there is never any speak of politics or religion its not alowed, yes there is an open section ......and there is more to discuss in life than that....
Of what i read people are being pretty rotten to each other already...ok if no -one wants talk to me for my views ...i'll live with it.
I enjoy being here, the friends I've made and the conversations i've had.
It upsets me intensley to see this happening between friends.....for goodness sake please keep it off the boards...theres plenty other things to talk about.
moonlight
The way i see it is the moderators are doing a great job, ok this is an non-rls section but for goodness sake keep politics and also religion off the boards . In this world they cause so much biggotry, hatred , death , arguing and bad feeling surley you can all see that, look whats happened here already.....everyone is at each others throats, for what...
I am on a discussion board in uk and there is never any speak of politics or religion its not alowed, yes there is an open section ......and there is more to discuss in life than that....
Of what i read people are being pretty rotten to each other already...ok if no -one wants talk to me for my views ...i'll live with it.
I enjoy being here, the friends I've made and the conversations i've had.
It upsets me intensley to see this happening between friends.....for goodness sake please keep it off the boards...theres plenty other things to talk about.
moonlight
sleep is not only a dream
Sincerely trying to post this as a member and not moderator.
Gentlemen & Gentleladies (with the emphasis on gentle). I suspect that if you have a forum titled General Topics: Non-RLS a variety of topics and spirited discussion should be expected and welcomed. But, whatever the forum title I suspect each and everyone of us has some general opinion of how they would like the content of that forum presented. Now that may range from an anything goes, to the opposite extreme, or anything in between. I'm not sure where the line should be drawn if at all. Yet, I do think that there probably is some sort of line. Many, if not all, discussion forums grapple with this issue. Many, if not all forums, do in fact define and dictate content at the peril or perhaps delight of losing some members. Now, we can probably debate the "issue" until the Seventh Seal of Revelations is opened and I doubt we would ever reach a full agreement. Nevertheless, unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, moderators sometime have to make a decision (which may be different than "judgement") about forum content knowing full well that the waters are murky and deep. Editing or Deleting such content is in fact a moderator duty (which may or may not be construed as censorship). This does not mean that moderators are right but that they sincerely believe they are right and are doing what they feel preserves the integrity of the discussion board in general.
M.
Gentlemen & Gentleladies (with the emphasis on gentle). I suspect that if you have a forum titled General Topics: Non-RLS a variety of topics and spirited discussion should be expected and welcomed. But, whatever the forum title I suspect each and everyone of us has some general opinion of how they would like the content of that forum presented. Now that may range from an anything goes, to the opposite extreme, or anything in between. I'm not sure where the line should be drawn if at all. Yet, I do think that there probably is some sort of line. Many, if not all, discussion forums grapple with this issue. Many, if not all forums, do in fact define and dictate content at the peril or perhaps delight of losing some members. Now, we can probably debate the "issue" until the Seventh Seal of Revelations is opened and I doubt we would ever reach a full agreement. Nevertheless, unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, moderators sometime have to make a decision (which may be different than "judgement") about forum content knowing full well that the waters are murky and deep. Editing or Deleting such content is in fact a moderator duty (which may or may not be construed as censorship). This does not mean that moderators are right but that they sincerely believe they are right and are doing what they feel preserves the integrity of the discussion board in general.
M.
This post simply reflects opinion. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Some assembly required.
I'm a very black and white person, as you all know. If you removed the non-RLS discussion forums, or limited them in some way to specific topics, and made it clear for everyone to see so there is no confusion; I will not have a problem with that.
But I saw an opportunity and a means to express myself on subject other than RLS, as we all have done in this supposed non-RLS related forum category.
As Mark said, where do we draw the line? Because something may possibly be offensive? To somebody in Ooogaboogastan in the Jungle of Zarg? It is a VERY important question everyone needs to ask themselves.
We are a forum of intelligent adults after all.. At what point do we tell each other, that it is simply best to ignore a topic we don't like... even if it offends us on a personal or political, or medical level?
The standard for decency should be the standard of the public. Not of the individual, otherwise we have no true standard and depending on how a moderator feels that day, a legitimate topic you might even see being discussed on nework television, could be shut down. This is not fair to the entire forum, and goes beyond personal grudges.
To simply wave a hand and dismiss dissent with the excuse of "this is not a democracy" is not an acceptable answer to any human being. This isn't about who rules the board - but if the Administrators and Moderators pervert it into that kind of a mentality, you will quickly lose faith from the forum members and either cease to exist, or be left a shell of your former self. This isn't a threat, this is an observation from someone who has witnessed the birth and death of many forums, as well as having moderated those forums.
That is my opinion.. Get rid of it, keep it, keep it and restrict certain topics. It doesn't matter to me, it is a tool for me to discuss with my peers. I will use it within the guidelines of intelligent rules that make sense.
But I saw an opportunity and a means to express myself on subject other than RLS, as we all have done in this supposed non-RLS related forum category.
As Mark said, where do we draw the line? Because something may possibly be offensive? To somebody in Ooogaboogastan in the Jungle of Zarg? It is a VERY important question everyone needs to ask themselves.
We are a forum of intelligent adults after all.. At what point do we tell each other, that it is simply best to ignore a topic we don't like... even if it offends us on a personal or political, or medical level?
The standard for decency should be the standard of the public. Not of the individual, otherwise we have no true standard and depending on how a moderator feels that day, a legitimate topic you might even see being discussed on nework television, could be shut down. This is not fair to the entire forum, and goes beyond personal grudges.
To simply wave a hand and dismiss dissent with the excuse of "this is not a democracy" is not an acceptable answer to any human being. This isn't about who rules the board - but if the Administrators and Moderators pervert it into that kind of a mentality, you will quickly lose faith from the forum members and either cease to exist, or be left a shell of your former self. This isn't a threat, this is an observation from someone who has witnessed the birth and death of many forums, as well as having moderated those forums.
That is my opinion.. Get rid of it, keep it, keep it and restrict certain topics. It doesn't matter to me, it is a tool for me to discuss with my peers. I will use it within the guidelines of intelligent rules that make sense.
The simple truth is that we are a simple discussion forum. We are, for all practical purposes, a closed universe. Weighty philosophical discussions about democracy, censorship, or what constitutes the "public standard" are, in my opinion, way beyond the scope of this board. For the most part we are just simple people trying impart simple messages. How anyone acts or responds on a given day is of course variable and sometime a bit unpredictable. But, hopefully personal grudges play no part in the day to day workings of the board. Differences of opinion, I'm sure. Now, how we deal with these differences or, in particular, this difference is the matter at hand. We can, as you say Zach, let the intelligent person in us rise to the occasion or let the child in all of us throw hissy fits and threats that serve no real purpose. And, if despite anyone's hurt feelings, mis-judgement, or whatever, (on this or other issues) the result is an attempt to debase or defraud the overall intentions of this board and the Foundation then that would truly be unfortunate. And, if that is the case, then I think it would be better if they simply "took their ball and went home."
Personally, I am also for having well defined rules of the road. But, I think that there will always be something left out from the map. And sometime, despite the best GPS in the world all possible avenues will not be covered. Trying to discover all the possible avenues and missed turns is time consuming. And, while I think that efforts to improve the route should be ongoing, I also think that the efforts of all of us could perhaps be better spent on things other than major road construction. Perhaps, fixing a pot hole now and then!
The sky is not falling. I seriously doubt that this "issue" or the next "issue" (and there will be a next issue) will result in the demise of this board. If anything I think it (they) will define, strengthen, and help it prosper. What will however contribute to it's decay and destruction, is apathy and lack dedicated leadership both here and at the Foundation. All of which I think we now have in abundance. And, I do not mean leadership in the form of position or title. I suspect and hope that this thread will be an example of that dedication and leadership.
Lastly, an apology as I think this is the second off topic post I have made to this thread and I will try to right my ship. And, if by chance I do show up off-topic will one of the other mods please delete my post as I must then be truly out of control.
M.
Personally, I am also for having well defined rules of the road. But, I think that there will always be something left out from the map. And sometime, despite the best GPS in the world all possible avenues will not be covered. Trying to discover all the possible avenues and missed turns is time consuming. And, while I think that efforts to improve the route should be ongoing, I also think that the efforts of all of us could perhaps be better spent on things other than major road construction. Perhaps, fixing a pot hole now and then!
The sky is not falling. I seriously doubt that this "issue" or the next "issue" (and there will be a next issue) will result in the demise of this board. If anything I think it (they) will define, strengthen, and help it prosper. What will however contribute to it's decay and destruction, is apathy and lack dedicated leadership both here and at the Foundation. All of which I think we now have in abundance. And, I do not mean leadership in the form of position or title. I suspect and hope that this thread will be an example of that dedication and leadership.
Lastly, an apology as I think this is the second off topic post I have made to this thread and I will try to right my ship. And, if by chance I do show up off-topic will one of the other mods please delete my post as I must then be truly out of control.
M.
Last edited by Sojourner on Sat Feb 16, 2008 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
This post simply reflects opinion. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Some assembly required.
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ViewsAskew
- Moderator
- Posts: 16581
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:37 am
- Location: Los Angeles
Thanks for both, Mark. The thoughfulness. And the humor. I chuckled for the first time today...that is quite an accomplishment for me today.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Managing Your RLS
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
-
Rubyslipper
- Posts: 992
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
- Location: Missouri
I read Ann’s thread about “What this board is to me” first, then went back to read the thread that seems to have started so much trouble. Before I get into what this board is to me, let me just make a couple of comments about the locked thread.
I am in complete agreement that this board should not be used to slam any one person, group of people or ideas. We are here to support each other, no matter what. You can always ignore someone’s ideas if they don’t agree with yours or you can have a friendly disagreement/discussion over it. That’s the way it has always been. It could be that some topics become too heated and need to be shut down.
Up until the point that Susan posted, “Play nice, people. Posts with broad insults attacking large groups of the population will be pulled. Do not post things like "Democrats are a bunch of slime-sucking ninnies," or "Republicans are a bunch of cold-hearted idiots." Posts with generalizations will be pulled without notice. Keep the focus on ideas.” I thought that everything was going well. It was a discussion, not a slug-out. As far as I could tell, that was the point that it started falling apart.
The moderators work very hard to keep our board clean and working. I am sure there have been a few posts that needed to be cleaned up or deleted. But I don’t feel that making a threat at that point was necessary. If I remember correctly, Susan, you made just such a post about those of us who consider ourselves a family. You called our discussions a “love fest”, that we were excluding people (you in particular) and to you that wasn’t support. Should that have been pulled? It did feel like a slam to me although maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I even offered to talk with anyone who felt left out in a PM so we could get to know each other better if they were part of the group who felt left out. No one responded.
Regardless, we asked quite a while back to have a part of the discussion board to just visit, vent, tell about our lives, give support about NON-RLS subjects. Ann graciously set it up for us and I feel that it is an important part of this system. I have been on numerous boards that have the same thing, a section where people can focus on other things besides just their illness. If that isn’t for you, then don’t read it. Of course, moderators don’t have that choice. They have to read and evaluate every post. But they must use their position wisely as must we all. If you do not agree with someone, there are good ways to go about handling it and we all know what they are.
Ann then posted an excellent post “I do believe that this board has multiple purposes - not just one. We also have people here who have different styles. Together, for me, it works perfectly. My guess is that at a very simplistic level, there are primarily two types of people who come here - those who value relationships/sharing feelings and those who value education/sharing information. Sure, some do both (and others may be here for other reasons), but, my guess is that many fit into one or the other. This is a broad and simple view (and I know we are much more complex that that), but it works for me to put it in perspective.”
Mark asked us all what we wanted this “place” to be. There were only 17 posts. But those posts all said that this was to be a place for support and friendship and that we did not want it to be a place where people felt intimidated or threatened into leaving. Now we are being asked the same thing from Ann. It was interesting that some people who are complaining most about what is going on here did not post to Mark’s question.
Quite possibly we need guidelines. Those should come from the Foundation based on what they see is the need on this board. At that point it is up to the moderators to make sure those guidelines are met.
This is a long post and I am sorry for that but you did ask! LOL This board has been my lifeline many, many times. It is not perfect, neither are all the people on it. We may make mistakes but as long as we can discuss subjects and remain friends, then let it be. I don’t believe in a Big Brother (or Big Sister) being allowed to slap our hands when they don’t agree with what we say. I do believe that common sense and respect should be used in our topics and our responses to others. I do not agree with running people off. I believe that people should think about their responses and how they might come across to others. I believe that we are a family (every single one of us) or we wouldn’t be here trying to help others. I believe in this board and what it is trying to do; make life a little more bearable for each of us.
I am in complete agreement that this board should not be used to slam any one person, group of people or ideas. We are here to support each other, no matter what. You can always ignore someone’s ideas if they don’t agree with yours or you can have a friendly disagreement/discussion over it. That’s the way it has always been. It could be that some topics become too heated and need to be shut down.
Up until the point that Susan posted, “Play nice, people. Posts with broad insults attacking large groups of the population will be pulled. Do not post things like "Democrats are a bunch of slime-sucking ninnies," or "Republicans are a bunch of cold-hearted idiots." Posts with generalizations will be pulled without notice. Keep the focus on ideas.” I thought that everything was going well. It was a discussion, not a slug-out. As far as I could tell, that was the point that it started falling apart.
The moderators work very hard to keep our board clean and working. I am sure there have been a few posts that needed to be cleaned up or deleted. But I don’t feel that making a threat at that point was necessary. If I remember correctly, Susan, you made just such a post about those of us who consider ourselves a family. You called our discussions a “love fest”, that we were excluding people (you in particular) and to you that wasn’t support. Should that have been pulled? It did feel like a slam to me although maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I even offered to talk with anyone who felt left out in a PM so we could get to know each other better if they were part of the group who felt left out. No one responded.
Regardless, we asked quite a while back to have a part of the discussion board to just visit, vent, tell about our lives, give support about NON-RLS subjects. Ann graciously set it up for us and I feel that it is an important part of this system. I have been on numerous boards that have the same thing, a section where people can focus on other things besides just their illness. If that isn’t for you, then don’t read it. Of course, moderators don’t have that choice. They have to read and evaluate every post. But they must use their position wisely as must we all. If you do not agree with someone, there are good ways to go about handling it and we all know what they are.
Ann then posted an excellent post “I do believe that this board has multiple purposes - not just one. We also have people here who have different styles. Together, for me, it works perfectly. My guess is that at a very simplistic level, there are primarily two types of people who come here - those who value relationships/sharing feelings and those who value education/sharing information. Sure, some do both (and others may be here for other reasons), but, my guess is that many fit into one or the other. This is a broad and simple view (and I know we are much more complex that that), but it works for me to put it in perspective.”
Mark asked us all what we wanted this “place” to be. There were only 17 posts. But those posts all said that this was to be a place for support and friendship and that we did not want it to be a place where people felt intimidated or threatened into leaving. Now we are being asked the same thing from Ann. It was interesting that some people who are complaining most about what is going on here did not post to Mark’s question.
Quite possibly we need guidelines. Those should come from the Foundation based on what they see is the need on this board. At that point it is up to the moderators to make sure those guidelines are met.
This is a long post and I am sorry for that but you did ask! LOL This board has been my lifeline many, many times. It is not perfect, neither are all the people on it. We may make mistakes but as long as we can discuss subjects and remain friends, then let it be. I don’t believe in a Big Brother (or Big Sister) being allowed to slap our hands when they don’t agree with what we say. I do believe that common sense and respect should be used in our topics and our responses to others. I do not agree with running people off. I believe that people should think about their responses and how they might come across to others. I believe that we are a family (every single one of us) or we wouldn’t be here trying to help others. I believe in this board and what it is trying to do; make life a little more bearable for each of us.
You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself! (Glinda of Oz)
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cmoore1958
- Posts: 232
- Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
- Location: Texas
Okay, sorry for the additional post on this, but being a "newbie" to the board my first post came from that perspective.
After reading the posts that have taken place during the day I believe that something that was not meant to be "hurtful" or otherwise has been blown way out of proportion. We are all intelligent people with a lot going on in our separate lives. However, we do compliement each other in a way only people with so much in common physically can do.
I'll admit that I've been on an euphoric high since beginning to post (kind of like a honeymoon with the family
) but as I thought about this throughout the day it really bothered me a lot that so many harsh things were being said after a moderator felt the need to step in. I do believe that Susan did what she felt was needed at the time. Perhaps we all might have handled it differently. Nevertheless, water under the bridge can't be re-gathered and we need to not waste our time trying to do so. We need to move forward -- whatever that will mean -- for the good of everyone as a whole. And, yes, it does feel like a family here with everyone included.
I don't have the benefit (or curse) or having a history with this or other boards and problems. But I do know what I need from this board and from all of you. Communication, respect, honesty and the benefit of the doubt when I may misspeak or react to something as a person doesn't feel I should. I think this is where the PM comes in big time. When there is a question as to where something is going and it is not exactly clear in the thread in that started all of this, the person with the question/suggestion needs to talk to those involved privately before making a circus out of the issue.
I'd hate to lose some of my friends I have just recently met due to this issue. I hope I don't. I myself, have used the non-rls forum for stress relief (you read my wonderful poem, right?) and I think it is an avenue for those of us (all of us) who can't sleep nights to occupy our time when we'd rather be screaming.
I'm not sure how to end this post other than to say I really hate it when someone, anyone, in my family is upset or otherwise stressed. Please, let's work together to make this forum we all depend on a healthy one for all of us.
Love you all,
Cyndi
After reading the posts that have taken place during the day I believe that something that was not meant to be "hurtful" or otherwise has been blown way out of proportion. We are all intelligent people with a lot going on in our separate lives. However, we do compliement each other in a way only people with so much in common physically can do.
I'll admit that I've been on an euphoric high since beginning to post (kind of like a honeymoon with the family
) but as I thought about this throughout the day it really bothered me a lot that so many harsh things were being said after a moderator felt the need to step in. I do believe that Susan did what she felt was needed at the time. Perhaps we all might have handled it differently. Nevertheless, water under the bridge can't be re-gathered and we need to not waste our time trying to do so. We need to move forward -- whatever that will mean -- for the good of everyone as a whole. And, yes, it does feel like a family here with everyone included.
I don't have the benefit (or curse) or having a history with this or other boards and problems. But I do know what I need from this board and from all of you. Communication, respect, honesty and the benefit of the doubt when I may misspeak or react to something as a person doesn't feel I should. I think this is where the PM comes in big time. When there is a question as to where something is going and it is not exactly clear in the thread in that started all of this, the person with the question/suggestion needs to talk to those involved privately before making a circus out of the issue.
I'd hate to lose some of my friends I have just recently met due to this issue. I hope I don't. I myself, have used the non-rls forum for stress relief (you read my wonderful poem, right?) and I think it is an avenue for those of us (all of us) who can't sleep nights to occupy our time when we'd rather be screaming.
I'm not sure how to end this post other than to say I really hate it when someone, anyone, in my family is upset or otherwise stressed. Please, let's work together to make this forum we all depend on a healthy one for all of us.
Love you all,
Cyndi
Even when we are by ourselves, we are never truly alone.
My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.
My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.
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Rubyslipper
- Posts: 992
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
- Location: Missouri
I'd hate to lose some of my friends I have just recently met due to this issue. I hope I don't. I myself, have used the non-rls forum for stress relief (you read my wonderful poem, right?) and I think it is an avenue for those of us (all of us) who can't sleep nights to occupy our time when we'd rather be screaming.
I agree completely with you that we need this part of the board to stay connected and sane. We have lost people in the past because of ill-timed or mis-spoken remarks. I would hate to see it happen again. The simple fact is that we need each other to get through this. That may mean that we talk exclusively about RLS or that we use some other topic to get our minds around our RLS problems. Common courtesy goes a long way and that is aimed at myself as well as everyone connected to this board.
I vote to keep this as a place to come together.
I agree completely with you that we need this part of the board to stay connected and sane. We have lost people in the past because of ill-timed or mis-spoken remarks. I would hate to see it happen again. The simple fact is that we need each other to get through this. That may mean that we talk exclusively about RLS or that we use some other topic to get our minds around our RLS problems. Common courtesy goes a long way and that is aimed at myself as well as everyone connected to this board.
I vote to keep this as a place to come together.
You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself! (Glinda of Oz)
I don't post often and never read the NON RLS part until last week. To me, it has no place on a forum about RLS, but then I can just choose to not read it so it won't matter to me either way.
Any time you get into a political or religious disucssion there will be people who get mad and leave. I'm on other health forums and they have no such topic as NON-whatever.
The problem becomes when people get mad and it then affects the postings in the other topics, either because they left and we no longer have the value of their vast knowledge or their whole attitude just changes because they're mad.
I joined for information and to know that I am not alone in this illness. If I wanted a political disucssion I would look for a forum catering to that topic.
Either way, I'll probably just not read the NON-RLS but hopefully we have not lost members.
Barb
Any time you get into a political or religious disucssion there will be people who get mad and leave. I'm on other health forums and they have no such topic as NON-whatever.
The problem becomes when people get mad and it then affects the postings in the other topics, either because they left and we no longer have the value of their vast knowledge or their whole attitude just changes because they're mad.
I joined for information and to know that I am not alone in this illness. If I wanted a political disucssion I would look for a forum catering to that topic.
Either way, I'll probably just not read the NON-RLS but hopefully we have not lost members.
Barb