FLOWERS
Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:22 pm
A good friend reminded me today that I have stoped smelling the flower's. Where am I, and what am I doing?
I am STRUGGLING!! I am in trouble!! I am in the hole that you can't get out of......... I am fighting with what is left of me, and here to ask for your Prayers.
The RLS, and life's daily event's, is taking away my joy(my courage, my passion's) I just finished an apartment from head to toe. Took me 1 month and that was with my step sister cleaning her behind off...........
I painted the whole apartment, and learned how to do plumbing too. I was hanging blinds in the kitchen over the big kitchen window, I had to drill upside down and put four brackets in, while trying to balance myself on the sink.
I don't know how I did it! I was shakeing, lightheaded, clumspy and sick. I crawed home. I think I realized I can't do that anymore. My body is fighting me and I am not enjoying it anymore, it hurts too bad.
Even my painting!!!! I am getty sloppy!!! I won't have that!!!!! Everything around here is falling apart at my feet. My heart has an ache that never leaves me alone.
I have to fix this and FAST!!! I have just been spoken to about what I need to do about this. And only I, and my higher power, and your prayer's, can help me do this.
I am going on a VISION QUEST....... A Journey I take to find myself and my spirit again. My head knows what I need to do, but my personality is fighting it all the way. I am scared, but thrilled at the same time.
I will be fasting and speaking to no one for two days 48 hours. I have asked my friend Wolf ( Linda who lives downstairs to cover for me, she knows what I am doing. I have just decided that I need to listen to my instincs, instead of the depression that is smothering me.
I have been going to places in my head I don't want to go anymore. I need to change some major thinking going on inside me, and some things I am doing. I am overwhelmed to a place beyound words.
I need a little time to get it all together here on what I am going to need to do this(it's all good) but any kind words from my family would be warmly welcomed, I am so sad, that is the perfect word for what I have been feeling for years now.
I believe I have a choice to change that, if I am strong enough to believe it. I am weak right now...........but I still belive.. It's almost impossible for me to not have to go do something for 48 hours, but that is what I have to do, to find myself, my better self.
GOD BLESS !!! Lyndarae ps........ this thread is part of my journey to healing myself so thankyou all for reading it
VISION QUEST
High upon Sacred Mountain,
With unrestricted view,
The clarity of vision
Comes to us anew.
Direction with a purpose,
Great Mystery will bring,
Strong medicine Allies,
To grace our Medicine Dreams.
I am STRUGGLING!! I am in trouble!! I am in the hole that you can't get out of......... I am fighting with what is left of me, and here to ask for your Prayers.
The RLS, and life's daily event's, is taking away my joy(my courage, my passion's) I just finished an apartment from head to toe. Took me 1 month and that was with my step sister cleaning her behind off...........
I painted the whole apartment, and learned how to do plumbing too. I was hanging blinds in the kitchen over the big kitchen window, I had to drill upside down and put four brackets in, while trying to balance myself on the sink.
I don't know how I did it! I was shakeing, lightheaded, clumspy and sick. I crawed home. I think I realized I can't do that anymore. My body is fighting me and I am not enjoying it anymore, it hurts too bad.
Even my painting!!!! I am getty sloppy!!! I won't have that!!!!! Everything around here is falling apart at my feet. My heart has an ache that never leaves me alone.
I have to fix this and FAST!!! I have just been spoken to about what I need to do about this. And only I, and my higher power, and your prayer's, can help me do this.
I am going on a VISION QUEST....... A Journey I take to find myself and my spirit again. My head knows what I need to do, but my personality is fighting it all the way. I am scared, but thrilled at the same time.
I will be fasting and speaking to no one for two days 48 hours. I have asked my friend Wolf ( Linda who lives downstairs to cover for me, she knows what I am doing. I have just decided that I need to listen to my instincs, instead of the depression that is smothering me.
I have been going to places in my head I don't want to go anymore. I need to change some major thinking going on inside me, and some things I am doing. I am overwhelmed to a place beyound words.
I need a little time to get it all together here on what I am going to need to do this(it's all good) but any kind words from my family would be warmly welcomed, I am so sad, that is the perfect word for what I have been feeling for years now.
I believe I have a choice to change that, if I am strong enough to believe it. I am weak right now...........but I still belive.. It's almost impossible for me to not have to go do something for 48 hours, but that is what I have to do, to find myself, my better self.
GOD BLESS !!! Lyndarae ps........ this thread is part of my journey to healing myself so thankyou all for reading it
VISION QUEST
High upon Sacred Mountain,
With unrestricted view,
The clarity of vision
Comes to us anew.
Direction with a purpose,
Great Mystery will bring,
Strong medicine Allies,
To grace our Medicine Dreams.