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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:22 pm
by lyndarae
A good friend reminded me today that I have stoped smelling the flower's. Where am I, and what am I doing?

I am STRUGGLING!! I am in trouble!! I am in the hole that you can't get out of......... I am fighting with what is left of me, and here to ask for your Prayers.

The RLS, and life's daily event's, is taking away my joy(my courage, my passion's) I just finished an apartment from head to toe. Took me 1 month and that was with my step sister cleaning her behind off...........

I painted the whole apartment, and learned how to do plumbing too. I was hanging blinds in the kitchen over the big kitchen window, I had to drill upside down and put four brackets in, while trying to balance myself on the sink.

I don't know how I did it! I was shakeing, lightheaded, clumspy and sick. I crawed home. I think I realized I can't do that anymore. My body is fighting me and I am not enjoying it anymore, it hurts too bad.

Even my painting!!!! I am getty sloppy!!! I won't have that!!!!! Everything around here is falling apart at my feet. My heart has an ache that never leaves me alone.

I have to fix this and FAST!!! I have just been spoken to about what I need to do about this. And only I, and my higher power, and your prayer's, can help me do this.

I am going on a VISION QUEST....... A Journey I take to find myself and my spirit again. My head knows what I need to do, but my personality is fighting it all the way. I am scared, but thrilled at the same time.

I will be fasting and speaking to no one for two days 48 hours. I have asked my friend Wolf ( Linda who lives downstairs to cover for me, she knows what I am doing. I have just decided that I need to listen to my instincs, instead of the depression that is smothering me.

I have been going to places in my head I don't want to go anymore. I need to change some major thinking going on inside me, and some things I am doing. I am overwhelmed to a place beyound words.

I need a little time to get it all together here on what I am going to need to do this(it's all good) but any kind words from my family would be warmly welcomed, I am so sad, that is the perfect word for what I have been feeling for years now.

I believe I have a choice to change that, if I am strong enough to believe it. I am weak right now...........but I still belive.. It's almost impossible for me to not have to go do something for 48 hours, but that is what I have to do, to find myself, my better self.

GOD BLESS !!! Lyndarae ps........ this thread is part of my journey to healing myself so thankyou all for reading it

High upon Sacred Mountain,
With unrestricted view,
The clarity of vision
Comes to us anew.

Direction with a purpose,
Great Mystery will bring,
Strong medicine Allies,
To grace our Medicine Dreams.

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:45 am
by jan3213

I will pray for you!!!


Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:28 am
by ViewsAskew
Many warm thoughts from here coming your way. I'll be looking to hear the results and how it helps put everything back into a different perspective and give you the guidance you need.

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:56 am
by Sojourner
L, You will be and always are in my prayers. Don't know when the vision quest is but in the interim maybe a suggestion (if you are able). Find yourself a favorite spot....maybe a nice blanket in the warm open sun, a warm tub in a dark room, lay on the bed and hold your favorite pet, get the idea. Make a tape or have someone make you a tape etc or your favorite inspirational tunes, music, whatever and put on the headphones. Let it wash over you and strengthen you heart and spirit. Best wishes, my friend.


Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:58 am
by sardsy75
Hey girlfriend

I know what kind of journey you are embarking on, and it will be a tough one, but you will come back to us stronger than ever.

You are in my heart and my prayers. Take all the time you need to heal yourself.

Love n hugs

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 12:31 am
by Rubyslipper
You are one of the strongest people I know but even the strongest person in the world can't handle everything thown at them. You have had to deal with so many obstacles and yet you have come through them all. I have confidence that you will make this journey and come back to us with a new outlook.

I hope this isn't perceived by you as another burden. But we need you here, need your love and caring, your warm words of concern. So make sure you come back to us when you are ready. Share with us if you are able. Take care and know our thoughts are with you.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:48 pm
by lyndarae
Thanks everyone........ I am feeling better, spiritually, but OMG the cramping I am having in my legs is the most painful ever, it happens whenever I strech them HELLO can't help but do that!! I am taking calcium magnesium with zinc and have been for some time, just started potassinm.

I just got my appliacation for the BIG BROTHER BIG SISTERS program and can't wait to get a little sister. Someone to love and spoil, and take out for a little fun. I figured I could be of help somewhere.

So I am slowly climbing off the pity pot and getting back to what is important. All of your thoughts and prayers carried me through and I am blessed because of you............thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I just have to face the facts that I am not a spring chicken any more and there are things I simply can't do anymore. But loving, giving, and feeling are still things I can do and intend to apply them with more grace and humlity~~~~~~~~~GOD BLESS Lyndarae

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:02 pm
by Polar Bear
Hi Lyndarae
for one reason and another I haven't been on the forum a lot recently, will get back on track soon, but know I am thinking of you and wishing you all good things.

Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 7:46 pm
by ViewsAskew
Boy, facing that I'm approaching stewing chicken status is sucky, so I totally get that feeling you are having. I am glad you feel better and can more clearly see your path.

Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 1:32 pm
by lyndarae
Yeah, It scares me when I get in that place for too long. But I am coming out of it now. I am dog sitting for the owner of the apartments and am getting a little extra cash I had not planned on, so I went to the chrioprator on firday and got a good ajustment and boy did that help, they are also running a special right now on a 1 hr. message and I am going for that on Monday.

I have bills to pay but decided to take care of me with the money. I am so stiff and sore. I was getting really bad cramps in my whole leg and they started real bad right after I started taking the potassium, so i stoped taking it and they went away ????

Anyway..........Thanks for letting me vent, I was in a scary place there for a while and all of your prayers and good thoughts helped me more than you know GOD BLESS ~~~~~~~~Lyndarae

Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 2:50 pm
by ctravel12
Hey Lyndarae vent all you want. I am glad that things are getting better and yes prayers do help. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and am sure that you can see it now.

I am working out some problems that I have and know in due time it will all come together.

You take care of yourself.

Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:25 pm
by ViewsAskew
Interesting about the potassium...maybe you didn't need more! Our bodies just don't always play by the rules. There is a supplement that is supposed to help regulate heartbeat and help the heart - CoQ10. When I take it? I get heart arrhythmias. Who's a good thing we can read all this info and try things, but ultimately, it's how we personally respond to any specific drug that matters. And, for you, potassium was not helping and possibly making it worse.

Enjoy that massage.

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:15 pm
by Polar Bear
Very glad for you that things are 'on the up'

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:10 pm
by lyndarae
Thanks hon, And how are you? Long time no chat!!! One of my tenants gave me a 7 day guest pass at the new golds gym, so I have gone two days now done some swimming and the treadmill, feels pretty good, but it is wicked expensive to join, but I am sure well worth it. Hope you are doing well!!!~~~~~~~Lyndarae

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:32 pm
by ed2008

can i ask if you buy the potassium over-the-counter or by prescription? If you are using OTC potassium, your dose is actually very small, the prescription strengths (10 mEq, 20 mEq) are the oral strengths that present problems.

hyperkalemia (high potassium levels) is known to cause heart beat irregularities. I dont recall a whole lot of symptoms that can clue you into it, but then again i'm not a physician.

hypokalemia (low potassium levels) can be noticed by cramping in the muscular extremities.

i guess I have muddied the waters even further...LOL