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What do I do?
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:46 am
When I was 15 I had to have my top right rib removed do to it growing together with my collar bone. It was cutting off blood flow and the nerves. I was given Tylenol 3 with codeine for the pain, to be taken at home. Every 4 to 6 hours I think it was.
I ended up addicted to them. My mom realized it one morning and took them to work with her. All I could have was regular Tylenol. I spent 3 days on the couch going through withdrawals.
Tonight I was telling my mom about a guy on the A&E show “Intervention” and we started talking about when I was addicted to the Tylenol 3.
I told her I spent 3 days on the couch going through withdrawals. She said she didn’t realize it was that bad. Granted she had to work, and was a single parent, with another child to care for besides me, but how do you not realize your child is in that much pain from withdrawals? How could she not realize what I was going through?
I’m not sure what I feel right now. Anger, frustration, betrayed, ignored, pissed, sad? All of them? I want to cry so bad.
It has been 20 years, I shouldn’t be so pissed, but she has never put two and two together as to why I am so reluctant to take narcotics.
What the heck do I do? Please help me.
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:04 am
Well it has been 20 yrs and maybe its just best to put in to rest. I am sure your mom never meant to do anything that would harm you. Since she was a single mother of two children which one had just had surgery, i sort of think maybe there was more on her mind, such as trying to pay for all the expenses and of course she had to continue to work to keep the household going.
I would like to ask you a question. IF you were in such a bad state, why didnt you sit your mom down and explain to her what was happening to you while she was at work, or why didnt you complain at night when she was home.
personally if I were you, I would simply say its all in the past and I would feel my mother did the best she could do with what she had to do with. Going back and reliving something that happened 20 yrs ago, is never a good thing, if we do those things we are asking for unhappiness in our lives! Now having said all this, this is simply mY opinion. it really all comes down to what you, yourself want in your life now! is this really worth reliving the past?
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:05 am
Were you really addicted, or had you just developed tolerance? There is a huge difference. Addiction is when you keep escalating the dose to achieve a high, and you would lie and steal to keep getting the drugs. Tolerance is when your body accommodates to the medication, and you need more to get relief of your pain. Either way, taking the meds away from you wasn't a good way to handle it. If you've developed a tolerance, it's best to taper off the meds. And if you were addicted, it would have been better to get you some psychological support for the tapering process.
I can see why you'd have issues with taking narcotics, though.
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:39 pm
Mack, complaining never got you anywhere when I was a kid. I could have set her down, but I felt so horrid at the time I guess it never crossed my mind.
Susan, I was addicted. By the end of day 5 at home I hardly had any pain at all. I loved the way I felt on the pills.
Sitting here thinking about things with a clearer head, I think Mack is right. I will just let it go, and remember mom did the best she could, and she did after all take me to all the doctors to figure out what was wrong with my arm.
It took them 6 months to figure it out. I had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. None of the doctors around here had ever heard of it. I guess my regular doc come across it in a physicians paper.
Thanks you guys.
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:41 pm
I'm sorry you had such a hard time all those years ago and I certainly do not wish to make little of it. The only thing I can offer is from my point of view as a mum who very many years ago brought up a child in extremely difficult circumstances. I absolutely and without doubt did the best I could for my child, I would have stood in front of a bullet. But I did not get it all right, not near perfect. But it was my best at the time.
My friend once said to me - We should not assume that others can read our minds.
Yes, I know you were just a child at the time. If your mum did not know what withdrawal was, or what the symptoms were.............
I hope this does not sound unkind, it is not meant to be that way. I am just speaking and assuming that your mum would have been doing her best as she saw it.
I hope this does not offend.
Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:23 am
It doesn't sound unkind, and I'm not offended. I asked for help, and that is what you all have done.
I think when I posted I was feeling sorry for myself. I have thought a lot about it today, and have read what you all have said. I do need to get past it, be glad my mom took the pills from me that day, and be glad I'm not an addict today.
Thank you all very much for being honest with me.
Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:40 am
And we are all allowed to be a little sorry for ourselves now and again.
Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:43 am
Thanks again Polar Bear. You are a sweetheart!