Sleepless In America

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debbluebird
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Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

There was a TV show on this past week called Sleepless In America. I recorded it. It was a very good show. My husband has been getting less and less sleep. Lately, he's been averaging about 2 to 3 hours a night. He watched the show twice and finally acknowledges that he really needs more sleep. It is the consequences of being sleep deprived, that made him take notice. He has several reasons for not being able to sleep. Pain, asthma, hyper-alertness from opioids, me moving, or me just getting up and down. There are times when I'm asleep and my legs and body are still moving. I guess the drugs allow me to sleep through it. He has finally agreed that maybe we should no longer sleep in the same bed and room. It's not going to be easy to figure this out since we have such a small home. Tonight, I'm going to the recliner, and for several nights, just so he can get some sleep. Just until we figure this out. The second bedroom is extremely small. Then there is the cost of getting twin beds, etc. When money is tight, it's not easy. Somehow this will work out. Neither of us like the idea of sleeping apart.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by ViewsAskew »

I wonder if someone might be giving away twin beds. Not that you want a used mattress, I suppose...

Since we had a king bed, we went with the memory foam to isolate movement. If I had the money and were to do it again, I'd buy twin beds and each our own mattress. That really isolates movement. The memory foam is very good that way - but still not as good as the two twin beds. But, space is definitely an issue. In our current house, we have mere inches on one side of the bed and less than two feet on the other. We were just talking about it the other day. I have a queen frame in storage from before we married. We were wondering if the king frame would fit into a closet to store. But, then we'd need a mattress - an expense I'd rather not spend with me not working.

I hope your husband finds additional ways to get more sleep. The hyper alertness from the opioids is a definite problem - and so odd that it doesn't affect everyone.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

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debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

We have a queen and it hardly fits in the room. About a foot and a half on each side. It is a memory foam mattress. If we get regular mattresses that are cheaper, we have enough toppers that it should work. The other bedroom is even smaller. It will hold a twin. I should be able to put my sewing and painting stuff in there too. Will probably move my recumbent bike to the living room. We used to have a king in our big house. We did sleep better then.
I should also add, that I figured out that since I've had at least 25 years of sleep deprivation, that's probably what's wrong with my memory. I'm afraid his lack of sleep will affect his memory too.

Polar Bear
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by Polar Bear »

Our bedroom is a strange shape and although it's a reasonable size there is only one place where the bed can be suitably placed and it means that one (my) side of the bed has about 18" for access - I feel like I'm on an assault course trying to get out of bed quietly and out of the 'trough' without brushing against the blinds and causing them to rattle.
Our bed size is limited to a standard double UK i.e. 4' 6" wide. The bedroom has a radiator on one wall, a window on another, a chimney breast on another, and the 4th wall has two built-in wardrobes.
Changing sides of the bed .... gets complicated, I can only sleep on one side and have to face open space.

I agree with Ann regarding the twin beds and would change in a heartbeat if there was space.
On holiday recently our double was actually two twins (3' each) pushed together and I would readily do this.
Here in UK we also have a size 'small single' which is 2' 6" wide, two of these pushed together would make a 5' wide which would fit into the space but I'd have to climb out the window to get out of bed :lol:
I'm fortunate in that we have a guestroom that either of us can go to for a few hours if needed.

Debbluebird, could two small singles pushed together work for your space.
Yes, I know there would be initial outlay. Oh dear, it would likely mean new toppers also.
It would be wonderful to resolve things in a way that let you both stay in your shared bedroom.
Betty
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

Yes, we could do the twins in the same room, but I think he would still have trouble sleeping. My CPAP machine is one of the issues. My new machine is quieter, but he still hears it. We haven't made a final decision. I think I will suggest the twins in the same room. We could still move into separate rooms.
Last night I slept in the recliner, just to give him quiet. He is still asleep, so I don't know how well he did. I do think he slept better last night, and so did I.

debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

I asked about twin beds in our room, and the room isn't big enough. Also, I was right about the noise of my CPAP machine. So that won't work.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by ViewsAskew »

debbluebird wrote:I asked about twin beds in our room, and the room isn't big enough. Also, I was right about the noise of my CPAP machine. So that won't work.


Does he wear ear plugs? That's the only way I can deal with the CPAP.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

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debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

ViewsAskew wrote:Does he wear ear plugs? That's the only way I can deal with the CPAP.


No, and I doubt that he would do it. I'll ask though.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by ViewsAskew »

debbluebird wrote:
ViewsAskew wrote:Does he wear ear plugs? That's the only way I can deal with the CPAP.


No, and I doubt that he would do it. I'll ask though.


I honestly don't even know I have them in. I use soft foam ones - I have a small ear canal, so I cut them to fit. They have become my best friend at night! I hope he's willing to try it.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

I asked him and he said no. He is such a light sleeper. He wakes up if I very quietly walk into the room. We need to be in separate beds and rooms. Twin beds won't fit in our room. It's too small.
This is my third night in the recliner. This isn't going to work. The first night, I was fine. Last night was awful. Tonight isn't much better. I remember now why I didn't like it when I was here for my shoulder surgery. It's fine when I'm in and out of it during the day, or for a nap. But not long term. I was able to sleep about five hours and now I'm awake. And for once it's not my legs keeping me awake. It's just not comfortable for this many hours. I thought if I sat up for a bit, I might be able to go back to sleep. So here I am on the computer.
I don't know how long it will be before we can get a bed for me. I will probably go back into our bed for now. But our little experiment has worked. He is sleeping. I wanted to do this for a third night, just to see how he did. I knew that the first two nights, he was so exhausted that he would sleep. He has had a little more trouble tonight, but this is going to work. He couldn't turn off his mind tonight.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by ViewsAskew »

I was always a very light sleeper - I now know that it was the PLMs for me. Since I wasn't in deep sleep, I would awaken easily.

I bought the earplugs for the apnea issues....but honestly? Now I use them everywhere. I keep a pair in my purse. Rarely does anything awaken me now. So, in a way, I'm glad I had to try them to deal with hubby's snoring (before he found he had apnea).

I can imagine how hard it would be in the recliner. I hope you can find a solution and soon.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

debbluebird
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

One more thing. I think he has sleep apnea. But of course, he won't look at that for now. One issue at a time for now.

Polar Bear
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by Polar Bear »

Until your new bedroom is sorted out, is there any chance of taking it turn about in the recliner?
Betty
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

ViewsAskew
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Re: Sleepless In America

Post by ViewsAskew »

debbluebird wrote:One more thing. I think he has sleep apnea. But of course, he won't look at that for now. One issue at a time for now.


it sounds as if he has a lot of pain - you said he's using opioids, right? That may make the apnea worse, I suppose. I hope you can convince him to go to someone about it in the near future.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

debbluebird
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Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 3:27 pm

Re: Sleepless In America

Post by debbluebird »

We can't take turns with the recliner. He doesn't even sit in it very often. We have two, that are connected. They hurt his neck too much. His whole back is a mess. Many herniated disc, etc. Neck and lower back are the worse areas.
Yes, he is on opioids. I hope I can convince him too.

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