Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Anything on your mind that isn't about RLS? It's nice to realize that there is life beyond this disease and have an opportunity to get to know our online family in a different context.
leggo_my_legs
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Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:29 am

Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by leggo_my_legs »

The renters next to me have made it their personal project to harass me ever since I asked them to turn down their loud music and called the Sheriff when they did not.

First, they started throwing their cigarette butts over the fence into my yard. When I called the Sheriff about that, they lied and said they didn't know how they got there. Now they trespass in my front yard late at night, leaving their cigarettes right next to the wall of my house, in the flower bed, and by the tree. They leave meat bones on my lawn and in my driveway. They scream (both the adults and the kids), swear, play basketball in the street, and drive their mini remote control up and down the street. Tonight this ruckus went on for an hour and a half, and that's not unusual. In general, they live their life in the front yard and the back yard, not in the house.

When they saw me take a picture of a smashed orange in the street in front of my house, the guy said under his breath, "Don't think it's going to stop just because you're taking a picture." I ignored him. I went into my backyard, and the lady screamed all sorts of horrible names at me over the fence, including claiming that she was filing a lawsuit against me. I don't engage. But that is getting difficult because I'm frazzled and at my wit's end.

Anybody else have a neighbor from h*ll story? It would be nice to not feel alone.

I make online reports to the Sheriff almost daily. Today I made 2. Sometimes I go in person and make reports. I wrote a polite letter to their landlord, but I didn't get a response. My attorney (thank god I have one) is now going to call their landlord.

It's a nightmare. And I am scared and intimidated. I am getting security cameras and an alarm system. They can't come soon enough.

They are being dumb because if it was a simple issue of noise, I'm told those kinds of complaints can be hard to prove. But now it has escalated to harassment. Do they not think I'm not going to file police reports? Do they not think I'm going to file a lawsuit if this continues? Do they not think that eventually they're going to get kicked out?

I am afraid of them retaliating against me. At the same time I can't go on like this. I can't move because whoever I rent out my place to is going to have the same issue. Can't sell the place because I'd have to disclose this issue. So I have to deal with it.

It is bothering at least two other neighbors, who wrote letters for me to have for my file. I wish other neighbors would call the Sheriff to complain as well. Maybe if we have a few more days like today, they will. One neighbor from the apartment complex in back of them actually hollered at them to turn down the music, and they said, "We don't pay our f-ing rent to you!"

Yankiwi
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Location: West Coast, South Island, New Zealand

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by Yankiwi »

I don't envy you, people like that are crazy and don't care how they retaliate.
The best bet is getting your neighbors to file complaints too. Numbers get more attention than many complaints from the same person even when justified. Once I had neighbors who had loud parties at least once a week after knocking off work around 3am. I printed out little notices saying we didn't have to put up with their noise and call Noise Control with the phone number in very large type. I put them in every mailbox on two streets and didn't even care if one was put in the culprit's, at least they got the message too. I didn't know exactly where the noise was coming from.

Polar Bear
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by Polar Bear »

I am so sorry that you have to put up with this and agree that power comes with other neighbours making complaints directly to the authorities.

In my last home my neighbour was a rental and didn't give two tuppeny damns about those around them with their behaviour. It was not directed at any particular person but was antisocial in general. A couple of the occupants were on the 'police list' for other offences. Estranged partner would turn up at midnight kicking doors and end up getting carted off in a police van. Older teen was 'involved' in suspect dealings, drugs and firearms and was also regularly uplifted by the police. Fire ashes were tipped into the back garden, their bin had previously melted !! . No maintenance was ever done. Eventually because 'they felt vulnerable' there were steel grids put over their windows. At the first sign of sunshine drunken parties started in the garden amongst the ashes, long grass and rubbish.

I sent for Council Health and Safety and Environmental Health but although unsightly there was nothing that came under the Council remit.

At one point they must have got a warning and the house and garden was (sort of) tidied up. This was at the time of the housing boom 10 years ago when properties were selling like hot cakes - I put my house on the market immediately and it sold within two days.

I feel for you, it is impossible to deal with people who have no conscience, it is intimidating and frustrating. You are doing the right things.

Sometimes a certain type of person needs a warning from a certain type of person...... oooops, did I say that !!
During the time of my neighbour difficulties a 'friend of a friend' asked me - Would you like someone to have a word with them. My reply was'definitely not' ....I was too afraid of reprisals or an obligation.

I moved house - sorry leggo that I'm not suggesting anything helpful.
My only thought is to have as many people as possible complain to the police, the authorities, the landlord.
Perhaps print off some letters and maybe the other troubled neighbours would each sign an individual letter, to each of the police, authorities and landlord.
Record their behaviour if possible, take photographs.
Betty
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

ViewsAskew
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by ViewsAskew »

leggo - I was a mediator for about 15 years. I have stopped because of the sleep issues as I cannot always remember everything the parties tell me. I had a case very similar to yours a few years ago. We did settle and they invited me to a backyard bbq - not likely here to want to get along that well, but it might work.

I worked for a non-for-profit that mediated cases for free. There are also private mediators. The key, if you ask me, is the type of mediation used. Evaluative is where the mediator evaluates each of your cases and is more prescriptive. Transformative is very loose and based on emotions and the parties completely guide the process. I used Facilitative - it is somewhere in the middle, but focuses on preserving relationships while getting to the underlying needs and interests of each party.

it is so awful to be in such a situation - while I can successfully mediate for others, I'd have a very hard time doing it for myself because emotions would get in the way. If you can find such a service - either for free or if you can afford to pay for it - I would highly recommend it.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

leggo_my_legs
Posts: 349
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:29 am

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by leggo_my_legs »

Thank you for all the suggestions. Numbers info is right. I think stereotypes and prejudice are relevant--I am a middle aged single woman living alone. I don't have cats anymore, but you get the idea.

I don't know how you can mediate with antisocial nutjobs, but my attorney is talking about that. Thanks for the info on types of mediation, very helpful.

Yes I'm recording what occurs on my property, ie noise level without video, and taking pictures. This is really ticking them off and they are threatening to sue me as they feel their privacy is being invaded. Um...when you are broadcasting your business for the whole neighborhood, there is no expectation of privacy, duh.

yawny
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by yawny »

Leggo,
What an awful situation...everyone else suggested very good things. I'd add to consider bright security lights that are motion sensitive. And for home security, there are door sticks (https://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-265D ... B0002YUX8I) that really make it difficult to come through a door. You may not literally need them, but they give peace of mind. I even travel with them for using on hotel room doors. If you talk to these bullies for some reason, try to have a witness with you. And perhaps consider using your iPhone, discreetly hidden, for recording their verbal abuse. If you're worried about when you're not home, Amazon sells all sorts of wireless cameras that are motion sensitive and can save video and photos to the cloud.

I've had horrible neighbors but the worst were during my days of renting. I had renters whose unit was above my driveway/garage and from their balcony they'd throw all their burning cigarette butts onto my car hood and let their dog pee on my car and driveway. In another home, I had a neighbor who frequently left huge quantities of used Sudafed boxes on the sidewalk. My best guess is they were running a meth lab so I was always nervous about the block exploding. And this was considered a "nice neighborhood." At my current house, I have a neighbor that puts her barking dogs in the yard at 6am and 10pm. I put up a dog barking deterrent machine and it helps but not completely. I never want to say anything because I figure they're aware of their behavior and already don't care. All of these people are on my glitter bomb list.

leggo_my_legs
Posts: 349
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:29 am

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by leggo_my_legs »

yawny,

Awful. I'm sorry you have to deal with similar stuff. Thanks for the ideas of the door stick and lights! I have the lights for the front but it's on my list to get them for the side. I have to run wiring but with the expense of the cameras and security I have to wait.

I am spending too much on the cameras for HD 4.1 MP. But what's the point of a cam if the image is poor? I did save a few hundred by buying some of the equipment thru Amazon instead of the installer. I'm afraid Imade an emotional decision but oh well. Got a better deal on the alarm so I guess it evens out.

yawny
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by yawny »

leggo, it is expensive but so worth it for peace of mind. And it adds value (perceived or actual) when you go to sell your house down the road. I hope this situation gets resolved for you.

Yankiwi
Posts: 548
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:20 am
Location: West Coast, South Island, New Zealand

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by Yankiwi »

Many people in Christchurch are having a different, but similar problem. Before the earthquakes in 2010-2011, prostitutes solicited in the city center. When there was no more city center, they moved north to a residential neighborhood. They are dangerous, disgusting and annoying to many families and the police and council are very slow to do anything. Citizens have to be careful where they walk so they don't step on a needle, faeces or used condoms. The pros work long hours, from dusk to the morning rush hour and are vocal about approaching any potential customer. Fortunately for the pros, with the rebuild there are plenty of customers. I used to work in the city center and my answer was motion activated flood lights. They quickly stopped using the car park in the back of my office after the lights were installed.

yawny
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Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:20 pm

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by yawny »

Yankiwi,
This will sound incredibly ignorant but I like to think of New Zealand as this perfect Eden like place, where extra shades of green only exist, and life is easy, wholesome, and well...perfect. Maybe you can even eat as much chocolate as you'd like? I suppose I need to think a place like this exists on this planet so I can dream of escaping there when times are hard. I've seriously done this for around 10 years. So for now, I will replace "prostitutes, needles, feces, and used condoms" with BUNNIES! Fluffy bunnies. Your post now reads very different!

leggo_my_legs
Posts: 349
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by leggo_my_legs »

Yawny, good point re: the value of the home. Thanks for reminding me of that. I am suuuper excited as installation is now only 2 days away! I am literally counting the days to when I won't have to be recording on my cell phone every time I take my dog out to potty.

Yankiwi, wow. I am so sorry to hear about the prostitute problem! Who wants to deal with that, ugh. The needles sound particularly harrowing. Dangerous for everyone but especially children.

Yankiwi
Posts: 548
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:20 am
Location: West Coast, South Island, New Zealand

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by Yankiwi »

Yawny, New Zealand is about as close to paradise as possible these days. Great food and wine, not too many people but also earthquakes, floods, drought etc. As far as bunnies go, except for the chocolate versions, they are a plague and every Easter there is an "Easter bunny shoot" where teams of shooters compete to kill as many as possible! They get a few thousand on Easter wekend.
A really good Kiwi movie from a year ago is "The Hunt for the Wilderpeople". It is really funny and really captures New Zealand culture.

leggo_my_legs
Posts: 349
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Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by leggo_my_legs »

I will look for that movie! Sadly it is a pipe dream for me to move to NZ. :( I wish I could! I am not in an occupation that is in demand and I'm getting old.

I had the cameras installed today. I am thrilled with them and glad I got the HD! Unfortunately they don't record sound, that was a miscommunication prior to purchase, I was surprised and a little bummed.

The installer told me that when he was drilling on the far corner of my property away from the fenceline, the neighbors came out of their unit, were peering over or in the fence, and then started cussing him out when they saw he was putting in a camera! They starting cussing me out and insulting me too but I was in the house. I went outside with my cell phone recording after he told me that and they continued to rant at me, knowing I was recording the whole time.

They are so erratic and unstable. It really shook me up. They appear to be a bit paranoid too, saying I have the cameras pointing "right at" their house, but in reality I can't see over their fence.
That is truly guilty behavior on their part; they're just mad because they can't trespass or dump undetected on my property anymore.

The lady is saying, 'we're recording everything you do to.' Um, what is there to record? I never interact with them or do anything to them.

I'm actually afraid they're going to sue me for some crazy reason and I'm going to have to spend all this money I don't have defending myself.

I haven't been able to get anything done today, including any work. :(

Yankiwi
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Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:20 am
Location: West Coast, South Island, New Zealand

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by Yankiwi »

The cameras seem to be working already. Your hideous neighbors don't know the cameras don't record. With your documentation, if they did sue, I think it would be thrown out pretty fast. It's a shame we need to document everything these days just in case.

yawny
Posts: 264
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 4:20 pm

Re: Neighbors from you-know-where, anyone?

Post by yawny »

Leggo, I bet there's relief in having the installation finally done. I'm challenged with anxiety (is that the politically correct way to say it nowadays? like height challenged or alcohol challenged) and I know how stressful things like your neighbor situation can consume you. If you haven't already, try to find some peace within the chaos they are causing you. It's hard. I really can't stand the idea of horrible people causing so much destruction, and I often have to work very hard to not involve myself in their horrible energy by thinking about it, or obsessing about something they did. Whatever works for you, but I know they've really upset things for you, and I'm hoping you can limit their destructive reach. BTW, I'm thinking all sorts of horrible things about them and they can't do anything about it!


Yankiwi wrote:Yawny, New Zealand is about as close to paradise as possible these days. Great food and wine, not too many people but also earthquakes, floods, drought etc. As far as bunnies go, except for the chocolate versions, they are a plague and every Easter there is an "Easter bunny shoot" where teams of shooters compete to kill as many as possible! They get a few thousand on Easter wekend.
A really good Kiwi movie from a year ago is "The Hunt for the Wilderpeople". It is really funny and really captures New Zealand culture.


Who would have thought there's a place where prostitutes fair better than fluffy bunnies? LOL, I'm now regretting my substitution choice.

We saw the movie and absolutely loved it...It's actually one of my top five favorite movies. It was brilliant! I still get the song stuck in my head "Ricky Baker, it's your birthday..."

https://youtu.be/us6ZcvCcYoo

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