Lonliness

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
ViewsAskew
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Re: Lonliness

Postby ViewsAskew » Fri May 12, 2017 8:32 pm

yawny - sounds like a great book. Need to add it to the list...the very long list...

About 17 years ago, I lost two cats and a dog in the same year. In some ways, it was a good thing as I had just met the man who became my husband and he is deathly allergic to almost all animals. But, what a sad year. My 17 YO male ginger cat had kidney failure. I found him in a drive through; the cars didn't want to move forward as he was begging by the DT window. I said I would take him to a shelter. I had cat food in my car because I had just gone shopping. I put some on the back floor board for him and he would gobble a few bites, then run to my seat and head butt me in thanks, then go grab a few more bites. He never was taken to a shelter. He was laid back, sweet, and loving.

My female cat had breast cancer at age 12; she died relatively quickly after diagnosis - it is apparently aggressive in cats. She found me - adopting my yard when she was about 4 months old. Such a sweet and smart cat - she eventually became an indoor kitty. She was the alpha of the three, but in a nice way, lol.

My German Shepherd/Akita was 11; he was the most loyal, sweet, loving, perfect dog in existence. OK, not perfect - I took him from a shelter when he as 11 months old and he always had separation anxiety. He wouldn't eat when I went on business trips unless my best friend (who lived with me when I first had him) would stay with him. And, when I would go to work initially, he would panic and had doggie IBS - I had tile floors and eventually that stopped, thankfully. He always sat on my feet, leaning on my legs, seemingly trying to meld with me. He was gentle and fiercely protective of me when he was concerned about me.

Together they moused in the fall when the weather was cold outside.They never argued or fought or were jealous - together they were the best set of pets anyone could want.

I have used hubbies allergies as an excuse not to get another pet....but part of me never wants to feel that much loss again. And part of me is sure that no pets on earth could possible be as wonderful.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

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legsbestill
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Re: Lonliness

Postby legsbestill » Fri May 12, 2017 10:29 pm

They sound like an incredible set of pets. I really enjoyed reading about them. Probably just as well allergies prevent you getting pets now - they would always compare adversely to those. And your husband is no doubt some sort of consolation - a good one can be almost as rewarding as a loyal pet!

badnights
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Re: Lonliness

Postby badnights » Sat May 13, 2017 11:31 am

I would have loved your pets, too, Ann. The Sean Achor talk is worth listening to, legsbe. I had listened to it a some time ago (years?) and had forgotten teh gist of it. But it came back quickly. I think those 10 minute talks are more to get you thinking about something. To create real change, some deeper effort is needed for that. I would like to check out the book, yawny, and see if I have the jam to change the way I react to thing. I might be ready for that sort of work at this point in my life.

Well, it's 5:30 AM. I worked til 2:30, got home and ate something, played with my dog who had been at the office with me since 8 PM, wrote my mother an email of news (hard to find news when I do same-old every day, but I talked about Rhoda), took my hydromorph at 2:30 AM, Lyrica at 330, zopiclone at 500. Legs are not giving me a break, they didn't yesterday either and I had to add 3 mg hydromorph at bed time, but even so had to add a levo-carb 2 hours later. That got me sleeping but as usual wore off 4 hr later. I had some normal sleep after htat. Now I get to start it all again. Welcome, Sun. Melt the snow and say hello to everyone else; I hope I catch a bit of spring cheer before you set.
Beth - Wishing you all restful sleep tonight
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leggo_my_legs
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Re: Lonliness

Postby leggo_my_legs » Mon May 15, 2017 2:48 am

badnights, that sounds like some badnights! :( I hope it improves.

I am not faring so well at present either. Calling my doctor tomorrow to make my appt sooner. Kind of dreading it, choice will be try DA's again, which all seemed to make me feel like crap (though honestly I didn't try them for long), or methadone.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Lonliness

Postby ViewsAskew » Mon May 15, 2017 5:19 am

Beth - I honestly am not sure if the multiple infusions was the best thing I did....or if it was taking a 7, almost 8 weeks off all opioids. I did the last infusion and the break from opioids at the same time, so cannot be positive. But, it was dramatic. My life hasn't reverted to the life I had 15 years ago, but it is better than it has been since the madness started.

My mom does not like talking on the phone. She calls about four times a year and all the sudden an hour has gone by and she is always shocked by it. It usually starts because she needs me to find something on the internet or has a question she thinks I can answer and always ends because either her ear hurts or the battery on the phone dies. Of course, I like to believe she really does love me best :-) and her talking for an hour when she hates talking on the phone is how I know! Whether she does or doesn't is immaterial.

She has been concerned about me for quite awhile - I think many family members are when they hear of opioids, sleepless nights, losing jobs, flying to distant lands to see doctors, etc. Moms doubly so. To add to it, she feels guilty, I would hazard, that it was her genetic code that created this mess, yet she can always get to sleep and stop the RLS if she immediately goes to bed when it starts. As with many moms, she would gladly pace the floors all night if I, her child, could sleep.

She called me about two months ago to ask about something; it was ended as usual when her portable phone batteries started to beep their upcoming demise. We usually have the same goodbye - she tells me her ear hurts or that the batteries are dying, that she cannot believe we talked so long, then she tells me she loves me and calls me one of the special names she uses for those times, then I respond in kind, both of us then disconnecting the line. This time was different; after the part about the phone dying and how amazed she was that she talked so long, she told me that it was so nice to hear me happy. That I sounded better than I had in years.

And, she was right. With insight that only a mom or other very close loved one would have, she heard things I was unaware of: the tenor of my voice, word choices, laughter, the rate of my speech, and on and on and immediately knew that this was a healthier and happier daughter.

I wish that for all of us.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



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Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

Polar Bear
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Re: Lonliness

Postby Polar Bear » Mon May 15, 2017 5:51 pm

This time was different; after the part about the phone dying and how amazed she was that she talked so long, she told me that it was so nice to hear me happy. That I sounded better than I had in years.

And, she was right. With insight that only a mom or other very close loved one would have, she heard things I was unaware of: the tenor of my voice, word choices, laughter, the rate of my speech, and on and on and immediately knew that this was a healthier and happier daughter.

I wish that for all of us.



How lovely is this. :D
Betty
http://www.willis-ekbom.org/about-rls-wed/publications
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

leggo_my_legs
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Re: Lonliness

Postby leggo_my_legs » Tue May 16, 2017 7:06 am

Wonderful to hear about everyone's pets! They are so great...

I listen to a lot of talks on dharmaseed.org. They have tons of them. I fall asleep listening to them a lot. I turn down the volume and hope for osmosis. Rick Hanson has at least one talk on there. I went to a seminar of his a few years ago. There's a great one on dharmaseed by Steve Armstrong called "Working with Dysfunctional Strategies that Cause Suffering."


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