Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
leggo_my_legs
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Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:04 am

Now, do I file this under 'Help for Relationships' or 'Humor'? :lol:

I went to the UPS Store to mail something certified return receipt. The guy wanted me to write the address on the envelope in addition to the postcard part that literally gets stuck on the envelope. I questioned him about it since the post office doesn't do that.

He launched into this long, annoying, circuitous explanation about why it was necessary in this loud, gravelly voice. I cut him off at one point, put my hand up, and said in a curt tone, 'It's fine, forget it.'

He took that as an opportunity to further elaborate--almost restart, even, his dialogue about why this was necessary. How someone could be so dense as to miss four social cues to shut up (interruption, gesture, tone, and words) is beyond me.

At that point I said, "It's fine, I'm doing it. No more words! I'm in a hurry! I'm in a bad mood!" That finally shut him down and he didn't say a word more. The no more words part cracks me up.

I really try not to go off on people. I had been trying to get this one task done for about 2 weeks, between printing the letter (from my computer at home...shouldn't be a big deal but everything is a big deal right now) and finding time to get to the PO or UPS store. Even simple tasks seem to take me forever lately. Even making a mobile deposit to the bank from my house.

badnights
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby badnights » Sat Oct 14, 2017 3:47 am

He took that as an opportunity to further elaborate--almost restart, even, his dialogue about why this was necessary. How someone could be so dense as to miss four social cues to shut up (interruption, gesture, tone, and words) is beyond me.

At that point I said, "It's fine, I'm doing it. No more words! I'm in a hurry! I'm in a bad mood!" That finally shut him down and he didn't say a word more. The no more words part cracks me up.
Thank you for my much-needed does of laugh-out-loud. Twice in one post! :lol: :lol:

On a serious note, it is very hard to think clearly when you're sleep-deprived or otherwise feeling sick. Often when I've been sleep-deprived and incapable of the simplest thing, I've felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with me, and gotten really down on myself for being stupid! ugh. don't go there.
Beth - Wishing you all restful sleep tonight
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ViewsAskew
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby ViewsAskew » Sat Oct 14, 2017 4:32 pm

Hah!
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

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leggo_my_legs
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:18 am

deleted, it was a requote only, see longer reply
Last edited by leggo_my_legs on Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:22 am, edited 2 times in total.

leggo_my_legs
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Mon Oct 16, 2017 1:19 am

badnights wrote:
Thank you for my much-needed does of laugh-out-loud. Twice in one post! :lol: :lol:

On a serious note, it is very hard to think clearly when you're sleep-deprived or otherwise feeling sick. Often when I've been sleep-deprived and incapable of the simplest thing, I've felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with me, and gotten really down on myself for being stupid! ugh. don't go there.


Glad it made you laugh. In the middle of it, this very nice lady who I'd dealt with there before came out of the back and I completely changed modes and said 'Oh hi, how are you?' First guy probably thought I had multiple personality disorder.

Yes re functioning when sick or tired. Have you seen the Health Based Quality of Life Scale? You can find on internet. Wake up call for me. I'm not sure how to score but it was obvious mine was bad. I've been slowly realizing not to beat myself up.

I will get better, or I won't, but these things are real and really affect people's lives. Trying to look at what I AM doing. ie going to work, trying to cope. Time to stop expecting myself to perform normally or like I used to...the game has changed. And maybe that's ok.

badnights
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby badnights » Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:13 am

Trying to look at what I AM doing. ie going to work, trying to cope. Time to stop expecting myself to perform normally or like I used to...the game has changed. And maybe that's ok.
I went thru the same process. Am still going thru it, actually - can't quite fully accept the changes. Adjusting our own expectations of ourselves can be the biggest challenge.
Beth - Wishing you all restful sleep tonight
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ViewsAskew
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby ViewsAskew » Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:16 pm

Beth and I have talked about this multiple times here - accepting how we have changed is extremely hard. And, as she said, I am still accepting it. I used to think I would eventually accept it and that would be that, but there are too many *OK* or *normal* moments that my brain thinks things can be as they used to. I do better when I am in a worse place, odd as that sounds. It is hardest when I do better for a stretch and those flashes of what used to be occur.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



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Polar Bear
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby Polar Bear » Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:56 pm

Hmmm... It's like, when in a bad place you expect nothing of yourself, don't expect wonderment.
And then things aren't so bad and its..... oh Yay.... this is ok. It's still ok. Oh... its' not ok, why did I think it could be ok
Betty
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leggo_my_legs
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Fri Oct 20, 2017 3:15 am

Not much to add here...I am going through that process too. It helps to know you are too, although I wish none of us had to.

Polar Bear, yeah it's all about expectations (positive and negative) and disappointments, isn't it? The contrast can be very stark.

I think I'm very much at the beginning of the process...realizing things have changed and trying to grapple with that.

I have other health conditions...lifelong battle with depression and anxiety, and sleep apnea diagnosed in 2005...but this leg stuff has brought a new low of functioning. I didn't start at 100% in the first place. :(

It all has primarily affected my quality of life and social life. Which makes me sad. Most of the time I've been lucky enough to be able to work, though I've been on short term disability a number of times.

The flexibility in the job I have now that's ending has been key, so I need to look for that in my next job. Not only the flexibility, but I work in the field so I only have to keep it together for short bursts at a time...at other times I'm by myself in the car! That release really helps me...I don't have to pretend for a solid 8 hours.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby ViewsAskew » Fri Oct 20, 2017 4:11 am

I have often wondered how I could do a job where I had to be present, on site, with a manager looking over me for 8 hours at a time. Not sure I could have worked as long as I did if I had not had flexibility.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



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Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

leggo_my_legs
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:15 pm

Yes! What kind of work did you do?

I think it was easier for me when I was younger, although I struggled then too. I think my PMLS wasn't as bad then, or at least my body was better able to compensate for poor sleep quality. Similarly to how when you're young, your vision might not be perfect, but your eyes are able to compensate and you don't need glasses yet. At least that's what I used to be told. Now I wear the reading glasses. ;)

I think with the WED/PMLS it's a double whammy--may get worse as you get older, and also, body less able to compensate. Bad combo. It's interesting how many things our bodies can be silently compensating for when we're younger, then when we get older, it's like, 'Nope! Not doin' it anymore!'

ViewsAskew
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby ViewsAskew » Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:53 pm

I was lucky to have a small consulting company; I did corporate communications, training, process improvement, quality, and the like.

For a few years, I was slightly depressed to quite depressed. In the last year (since the last infusion and a lessening of symptoms, interestingly enough), I realize I am talking to strangers and old friends, almost all of whom I had cut out of my life for a few years. I was chatting the other day with someone and thinking - who the heck are you????

Takes so much out of us.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



Managing Your RLS



Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

leggo_my_legs
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Sun Oct 22, 2017 5:53 am

That is fantastic, Ann!!! So glad to know you're feeling better. Gives me hope.

I did that with a close friend recently. I sent her an email and said I wasn't available to talk for awhile and that I wasn't cutting her out on purpose; I just couldn't stand to hear my own negativity. Quite a bit of it was about my airway issues too--I was resting my voice when I was at home and then also the terrible fatigue. Recently I've been able to start talking to friends again in small doses.

It's weird and foreign to me to be like this; usually I reach out a lot. I am actually kind of easing into accepting some solitude, and for now it feels ok. I'm on here, and I text my friends, and I talk on the phone a little but not nearly as much as I used to. One of these days I'll actually do something social in person.

I've been realizing I might like to date, too at some point. I need to look for someone who understands what it's like to have a few health conditions.

ViewsAskew
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Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby ViewsAskew » Sun Oct 22, 2017 6:17 pm

Thanks, leggo. It is good to feel better. I bet my husband is happy, too, lol. I usually am social more on places such as this and less so in person. I need a great deal of personal space and alone time. But, I had gotten so I did not leave the house for weeks at a time and didn't even want to mow the lawn 'cuz I might have to talk to a neighbor.

Dating is always an interesting enterprise! I was SO lucky to meet someone (online) who had mild RLS and a chronic disorder. He gets what I go through and we go back and forth supporting each other.

OK, I went on a tangent here! One thing I highly recommend - and just me thinking as I type, ignore at any time, lol - is making a list of what you need and want and will not do without. Each time I dated, I took what I thought I could get. I didn't value myself enough. If anyone is interested, a book by a psychologist, called, Will Our Love Last, was the inspiration for this. Helped me identify what worked and didn't work for me and why certain things are important and will derail a relationship. I did not want to be annoyingly choosy, but some things hadn't worked out in prior relationships and I wanted a way to create a better foundation. I thought about my list for about 6 months and refined it. I immediately said a nice no to anyone who didn't fit. It wasn't things like eye color but things like compassion, worldview, and how you deal with people.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



Managing Your RLS



Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

leggo_my_legs
Posts: 306
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:29 am

Re: Outburst at UPS Store Guy

Postby leggo_my_legs » Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:14 am

Thanks for the advice, Views. I'm glad you and your husband found each other. I had been looking for this post but couldn't find it!

I think one thing was that I was barking up the wrong tree, i.e. trying to date able bodied people who really don't understand and are only interested in someone "fit and healthy."


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