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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:20 pm
You'll stay in our prayers and thoughts.
God be with you and let your heart be still for the time it needs.
Our love and support are always here for you.
Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 3:57 pm
I thought I'd give everyone an update. I am still struggling, but am better than I was when I left. I feel like I can continue to live my life in spite of the pain rather than being debilitated by it. I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" the other day and there is a line in the movie where Diane Lane talks about the irony that divorce doesn't kill you, but that it should. I guess I have felt that way. The pain is so great that sometimes dying feels preferable. But, I know there is an other side to this and I have had glimpses of what my life can be. I ask for your continued prayers as I work to get there. The current irony is that I am performing a wedding on Saturday. I have not yet been able to write the blessing/charge to the couple. I just can't get very inspired about marriage right now with my heart shattered in about 6 million pieces. But, it's one of my best friends, so I need to get my act together. I'm headed back home at the end of October and will start back to my job from my leave of absence on November 1st. I still have limited access to e-mail, so I'll be hit and miss with replies for a couple more weeks. I hope that you are all well. I admit that I haven't caught up with what's going on on the board but I love you all and think of you when I see the moon. Brandy
Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 4:04 pm
God Bless you, Brandy. You're going to be fine---eventually. When I got divorced, I thought that death would be easier..... I've heard other people say the same thing.
I hear such strength in your words--- You may not yet, but I do and I'm sure others will, also.
You are always in my thoughts, Brandy. Im blessed to know you......
Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:23 pm
Brandy,It is so good to hear from you. You have been on my mind for a long time and wondering how you are doing. I am still asking God to keep you strong and will continue. I know you will do just fine on the blessing/charge for the couple. I am so pleased that you took a leave of absence as it gave you time to with your family and friends. Looking forward to hearing from you again real soon. We are one wonderful family and missed hearing from you. Believe it or not you are an inspiration to me and one of these days I can tell you all about it. Jan said it all about hearing ther strength in your voice.
Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:36 pm
So, I promise when I get back home, I'll stop just posting updates and start being a supportive friend again. I have one more week with my folks and then I head back home and get on with the work of starting my life over. This weekend I officiated a wedding for a dear friend. It was pretty tough. The thing is, I really didn't think that I would have the strength to do what I needed to do. All of the hope and happiness that comes with a wedding and all of the shattered dreams that I am carrying around and all of the reminders of how I felt on my wedding day compared to how I feel now - Agh! But, there is a verse in the Bible that talks about God's strength being made perfect in our weakness and it so true. I really didn't have the strength to do this, but it came anyway, and the wedding went beautifully. It gave me my first glimpse of hope that I might survive this. If I can get through a wedding in the shape I'm in and do the job in such a way that no one focuses on me at all, and most didn't even have a clue that I was dealing with my own issues, then maybe I can go back to work where I have a supportive boss and coworkers. Maybe I can go back to my new apartment where I have opportunities to make new firends and get to know myself. Maybe I can do this. At the same time, I've already cried twice today. I'm not there yet, but the glimpse of hope gave me the courage to believe that more hope is to follow. I love you all and have read this thread several times when I have needed a little extra boost of strength. You are all dear and I can't wait to hear all about the conference. I'll be with you in spirit!
Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 5:13 pm
Dear Brandy it was so good to hear from you and that the wedding you did went well. I still have you in my prayers and asking God to keep you stronger each day.
Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 4:46 am
brandy wrote: Maybe I can go back to my new apartment where I have opportunities to make new firends and get to know myself.
In high school, I started dating "Joe." We broke up after my sophomore year in college, almost 5 years later, after he cheated on me repeatedly. I immediately met "Jack." It lasted about two year. A few months later, I went out with someone who had been badgering me for awhile. We lived together 5 years. I won't bore you with the details, but by the time I was in my mid thirties, I'd been in relationships - mostly where I met someone, fell in love quickly, and immediately started being a couple.
I took a couple of years "off." What a difference. Living by myself, learning to find out who I was, what was important to me, going back to school for another degree - all of these things I needed to do. I need to find out why I kept taking care of other people! To learn to stand up for myself and take care of myself while not losing my compassion or connection with others.
What a great journey I started. I'm still on it. But what a happier person I am now. Smarter, too - not from book learning, but about what it important to me and how to best take care of myself.
It was at times a very lonely journey. Sad. Terrifying. But it was also joyous at times.
I hope the best of journeys for you. May you learn about how wonderful and special you really are. . .and how worthy you are of your own acceptance, love, care and concern.
Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 5:53 pm
Wanted to let you guys know that you were right - there is so much out there. After feeling much better for a while now, I've started dating again. I have met the nicest guy. I'm not in any rush, and I'm still in control of my heart, but I can't believe that there are people this fantastic out there. For example, the other night we went out to dinner and it was raining. We parked very close to the door, but he told me to wait in the car for a second. Then, he got out, went around to my side, took off his coat and held it over my head as we walked into the restaurant so I wouldn't get the least bit wet. Holy cow! He is so kind and generous and thinks I hung the moon. It's like I've met the polar opposite of my ex-husband. I am still being cautious and slow, but it is so nice to be treated so well. I know you guys told me this could happen, but I guess I had to see it to believe. I am so happy for each of you who have gone through divorce then met someone amazing. I'll keep you posted.
Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 6:02 pm
Thank you SO MUCH for letting us know how you are. It's hard to see when you are going through such pain, but there IS life after divorce---and, in many cases, that life is so much better!
You are seeing your worth, Brandy, and that's the most important part.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:19 pm
Hi Brandy What wonderful news. I knew all would work out just fine. You are too nice of a person. Have a great Thanksgiving Day and the rest of the week too. It is so good to see you posting again and having the sweet Brandy back again.
Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:12 pm
that is so great brandy! ***** little confetti!
that is like my current hubby, our first date, he was so sweet and proper and just pecked me on the cheek when he dropped me off at home. it was the sweetest thing any guy had did to me. i mean usually it was like fighting off an octopus. so i am so happy for you brandy.
Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 6:43 am
Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:29 am
It's nice to see a smile on Brandy's words again, isn't it?
Good for you my dear. That sounds like a floating heart and heck of a good time, just noticing that there are better pieces of you to come.
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 4:31 am
Hi, I woke up at 4 am and needed to 'stretch' for a while, so I find myself looking thru this thread. From despair at the beginning, to a new hope towards the end.
I wonder how Brandy is now. I hope all is good for you Brandy.
best wishes, Betty
Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:51 am
Betty, she's been in my thoughts a lot lately. I hope, dearly hope, that all is wonderful and that is why we haven't heard from her.
We have several people missing in action. I miss them all.