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Sleeping apart-by design
Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:28 am
by icrochetafghans
My past job (currently not working) and hopefully my next job, are working night shift. That is 7pm to 7am. He gets several nights a week "without" me around. I can rest during the day without disturbing anyone. We have lost the closeness, but that has been gone for awhile anyway. It works for us. Oh, I sleep better during the day anyway.
Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 2:52 am
by ViewsAskew
Diane, I'm glad that is working for you. I hope, really hope that you are working to maintain the relationship in other ways. Though many of us do have differing levels of closeness, something like this can hurt us in ways we don't really see at the time unless we actively work to prevent that from happening.
This story is just of my last relationship -I'm not inferring anything or that all relationships would follow this course - but it really put a big wedge in our lives. See, we didn't make up for that loss of physical and emotional contact in any way. We didn't work at making sure we maintained reasonable intimacy.
Five years after we changed shifts and got seperate beds, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. During those five years, working different shifts, sleeping apart, we'd established different friends, interests, pursuits. He eventually established a sleeping partner - one that worked his shift and didn't kick him all night. Too bad he didn't tell me about it when it happened so I could have had him leave sooner.