HOW WE DEAL WITH SPOUSES AND PARTNERS

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
cmoore1958
Posts: 232
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
Location: Texas

Post by cmoore1958 »

Hi agan and so soon . . . :lol:

I forgot a very important subject in my post of a few minutes ago . . . one of the things my husband said to me hit me hard. Rich told me that when he hurts or has something wrong with him or just doesn't feel well he doesn't think he has a right to complain because I have it so much worse. And, he said that honestly, it doesn't feel to him that his health, etc. is as important to me as whatever I am going through.

I think we (definitely me) need to be aware that our spouses/partners suffer through their own ailments and disappointments and we need to return their support if we expect more from them. I laboriously appologized to Rich and made sure he know how important what he is going through means to me. In fact, when I can focus on him instead of me, I do feel better.

Just felt I needed to share this bit of insight with you too. Thanks for listening (again).

Cyndi

Polar Bear
Moderator
Posts: 8034
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:34 pm
Location: N. Ireland

Post by Polar Bear »

Cyndi, what an awesome post, It is sad/feisty/heartwarming, so many emotions rolled up together. Rich sounds a sweetheart, Congratulations on your wonderful relationship.

Betty
Betty
http://www.willis-ekbom.org/about-rls-wed/publications
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

ctravel12
Posts: 2125
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
Location: Lake Havasu City, Arizona
Contact:

Post by ctravel12 »

Oh Cyndi what a great post. I love your honesty and the love that both you and your husband have for each other is absolutley wonderful.

You are a gusty lady and this is how you are surviving. I really admire you and also for what you said to your future MIL in the beginning. You go girl. I have been told many times I speak my peace and I really do. I do not hold back as people know eactly where they stand with me.

We have been married 34 yrs and will be 35 years this April. We also had some rocky roads about two years ago, but I still maintain if you cannot commnunicate you have nothing. I thank God everyday for my husband. We both take our marrriage serious and that is why we are together today and love each other very much too.

I am so glad that I was able to meet you in the chat room last Monday and that you joined our discussuion board. You certainly are one of the family and will always be. It is a good feeling to be able to help others as you are doing.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

cmoore1958
Posts: 232
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
Location: Texas

Post by cmoore1958 »

Hi Betty and Charlene,

I guess I showed a lot of my personality traits in my post this morning. Good! I am really blessed with my husband and our loving marriage. I do well to make sure he knows that as much as possible.

I, like you Charlene, am very outspoken (not that you could tell) and a little on the whacky side at times. My nieces and nephews call me their "crazy aunt" and I do my best to live up to their title for me. Life is too short -- what a concept for those of us suffering with rls and other things when each hour sometimes seems so very long -- and we have to grab our happiness and thank God for the many blessings he gives us often.

I am pleased to be a part of this new family and intend to be an involved, outspoken, feisty, loving and as helpful as I can be. I believe I was led to this sight for a reason and I will not turn my back on this important journey.

Thanks for both of you and your support for me, someone you just met. I guess we are a kindrid spirit and our lives bring a closeness that others just can't comprehend.

Cyndi

ctravel12
Posts: 2125
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
Location: Lake Havasu City, Arizona
Contact:

Post by ctravel12 »

Cyndi your personality traits are great. I think it is wonderful how you step up to the plate and offer support to these people. People like you is what makes this board so successful. Keep up the good work..

I also want to remind everyone that we will be chatting tommorow at 7pm montain time so it will either be 8 or 9 pm your time. We had a great chat room last week and hope that it continues. I think that it is so important for everyone and also a big help to the new people.

Everyone have a good day and for all the ones that LOVE FOOTBALL enjoy it.

Love all of you and so glad that we are all family.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

jan3213
Posts: 1706
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 8:46 pm
Location: Illinois

Post by jan3213 »

Hey Cyndi~

I'm so sorry I'm just now replying to your wonderful post! I was unavailable all last weekend and not on much this week. But, I have to tell you that it was a wonderful post! I know it will be so helpful to anyone who reads it!

What a great outlook you have on life. And, like Charlene said, you are one gutzy gal!

So glad to have you here on the forum!

Jan
No one is alone who had friends.

cmoore1958
Posts: 232
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
Location: Texas

Post by cmoore1958 »

Hi Charlene and Jan,

Thank you so much for your comments. I love being a part of this board/forum and don't know what I ever did without it!

Charlene - your initial welcome and inclusion of me when I entered the chat room for the first time really made an impact on my desire to participate. For that, thank you! You are truly an asset to the rest of us.

Jan. - there is no timeline for a post, I'm just pleased to hear from you. I, like everyone else, understand that "life" and stuff get us busy and we don't always get back to things like we'd like to. Your encouragement and support are very important to me. And, like Charlene, you have made me feel welcome.

Of course, the ret of the people on this board have welcomed me and treated me like family from the beginning. It is so easy to talk to any and all of you it baffles me at times. I find myself anticipating getting home from work so I can find out what's going on with all of you. On the other side, it's great for me to have a place to "vent" and finally not feel guilty about doing so.

After the Super Bowl is over (it's half-time now) I'll be back on to see what else is going on with others and hope to be able to offer my support where needed.

Take care of yourselves. God Bless.

Love ya,
Cyn
Even when we are by ourselves, we are never truly alone.

My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.

becat
Posts: 2842
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:41 pm

Post by becat »

Hi again I just wanted to say how important I thought your post about remembering our partners aches and pains are.

You put into words what I have thought about so many times.

I was thankful to have my RLS under control while my hubby underwent open heart surgery a couple of yrs ago. I was able to stay the entire time at the hospital with him and was his nurse, unless the law required a real one. LOL

It meant the world to me to read what you just wrote about feeling like family and finding this a safe harbor......we're all about that.

Glad to have you here, only wish it was just for fun.

Lynne

cmoore1958
Posts: 232
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:47 pm
Location: Texas

Post by cmoore1958 »

Hey Lynne,

Thank you for your comments, they mean a lot!

My husband is actually going through some physical stuff right now so that topic was on my heart pretty heavy. He's been more open with me about how he feels about things and I felt it needed to be said to anyone who wanted to listen.

I am proud to be a part of the family here and am so glad I can try to make a difference like so many of you do for me.

I appreciate you and what have been through. I feel blessed to have a new "sister" in you.

Cyn
Even when we are by ourselves, we are never truly alone.

My motto: It's MY pitty-party and I'll vent if I want to.

becat
Posts: 2842
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:41 pm

Post by becat »

Thank you and I feel great that your here, your making a great difference already.

When people we love hurt, we'd gladly take upon ourselves to carry it, and we never can. But I love the reminder in your post to listen. I think that needed to be said. Thank You my dear.

Lynne

ctravel12
Posts: 2125
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
Location: Lake Havasu City, Arizona
Contact:

Post by ctravel12 »

cmoore1958 wrote:Hi Charlene and Jan,

Thank you so much for your comments. I love being a part of this board/forum and don't know what I ever did without it!

Charlene - your initial welcome and inclusion of me when I entered the chat room for the first time really made an impact on my desire to participate. For that, thank you! You are truly an asset to the rest of us.

Jan. - there is no timeline for a post, I'm just pleased to hear from you. I, like everyone else, understand that "life" and stuff get us busy and we don't always get back to things like we'd like to. Your encouragement and support are very important to me. And, like Charlene, you have made me feel welcome.

Take care of yourselves. God Bless.

Love ya,
Cyn

Cyndi you are more than welcomed and I am glad that I had an impact on you on the chat line. You are one "special lady" and like I have said before, so glad that you are family. You always come up to the plate and welcome new ones and give good advise to other members and that is wonderful.

You take care of yourself and remember we do chat tonight at 7pm mountain time.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

lorabell
Posts: 84
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:14 am
Location: NO. IL.
Contact:

Talking about rls and plmd

Post by lorabell »

Since I first started complaining about my ( spiders doing pushups under my skin ) my family has been wonderful.
As the years passed, and the spiders increased, the family stayed with me.
When a Neuro told me I had a pinched nerve and that would CURE me, I went for it. ( 1985 ) As we all know, all I got out of that was a 10 day stay in the hos. and yes, my rls went away! I was on morphine and other meds in the hos. LOL I went home and so did my rls. we are such BUDDIES !
We had a family reunion some yrs later and I did an rls presentation and found out EVERYONE in my family has rls/plmd , to some extent. I was blessed with having it the worst.
Talking about rls/plmd with family, friends , anyone you can get to listen is the best way to get the word out.
I keep a lot of the e-mails and material I have from the rls foundation and this morning I found an old e-mail I kept about (my then 4 yr old grand daughter,) Vickie. She had never witnessed what I went thru every night and when ahe saw me lean into the entertainment center so I could kick my legs, she did too. When I laid on the floor with my legs on the seat of the couch, so I could move and kick,She checked my forehead, pronounced i was "a little bit warm" , and brought me a blanket and the cure-all for sick kids, ling-Ling the big stuffed Panda Bear and set her next to me.
All my family has had to deal with my crying, walking at all hours, the house-cleaning a t 3 Am, and I have been blessed with their understanding.
Vickie is my grand daughter by marriage, so I know I am not passing rls to her and the others, but my 13 yr old grand daughter, 11 yr old grandson and 9 yr old grand daughter I worry about. All have allready been told they have growing pains ! It takes a lot to make me mad, but THAT makes me so mad1 The 13 yr old and 11 yr old have a terrifc dr who discussed rls with me when I was with them and he knows to look for it when he sees them.
Doing whatever we can to make our rl/plmd livable for us a must, ( which goes woithout saying ), but doing what we can to help our families is paramount. They can't help us if they donlt know what we are living with. My hubby would offer to rub my legs and I would say ok, then the minute he started to touch me, I'd scream "NO" . NOONE can touch my legs.
Anyway, Talking is the only way to get the word out. , to family, friends, co-workers. I don't want people feeling sory for us, i just want them to know the signs, so they know what to do should they start rubbing their legs, and walking at night.
Hugs and Love, wowobl
Always remember, if you cut off your limbs, you'll have phantom rls and nothing to rub .LOL

Polar Bear
Moderator
Posts: 8034
Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:34 pm
Location: N. Ireland

Post by Polar Bear »

Lorabell, this is a fabulous post. It says so much... I am sure it strikes a chord with all of us.

By the way... what is wowobl ??

Betty
Betty
http://www.willis-ekbom.org/about-rls-wed/publications
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

lorabell
Posts: 84
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:14 am
Location: NO. IL.
Contact:

I forgot my manners!

Post by lorabell »

I apologize for not introducing myself!
My nickname ( wowobl ) came from my first born niece , who couldn't say Lora.
Wowo is pronouinced (whoa ,whoa) as in when your telling the horse to stop. lOL
the bl is short for Bell, which really is my middle name.
My niece loved to call me wowobl in front of my friends . ( I was a teen by then and would have sold her to the gypsies, but I would have been caught lol
That's why I sign as wowobl, most people from the chatroom know me as wowobl.
Hugs, Lorabell
aka
wowobl
Always remember, if you cut off your limbs, you'll have phantom rls and nothing to rub .LOL

ctravel12
Posts: 2125
Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
Location: Lake Havasu City, Arizona
Contact:

Post by ctravel12 »

Hey Lora I am so glad to see you on the discussion board. What a nice thing to see first thing in the morning. I hope that you are doing better and will be talking to you soon.
Take care my friend
Love and hugs to you.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

Post Reply