New here and disgusted

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
SquirmingSusan
Posts: 3028
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:08 am
Location: Minnesota
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Post by SquirmingSusan »

More off topic here... Maybe we should move this stuff to a separate post?

So much for getting something from the primary doc. He told the nurses to call me and tell me to stop all nighttime sleep aids and daytime stimulants, including caffeine. :roll: :roll: :roll:

Yeah, like that's going to help. And like that's going to happen. :wink:
Susan

Rubyslipper
Posts: 992
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Post by Rubyslipper »

Kirk, you'll find (if you stay with us) that I'm always reading posts and replying late. Sorry but I just had to chime in here. You've received excellent advice from wonderful people. This is my opinion so use it or not as you see fit. First, you have a right to be upset with your wife. But until you talk to her, nothing witll be resolved. Good advice was given--pick the right time. Don't go on the warpath but make sure you tell her exactly how her comment made you feel. Try not to make her feel defensive. I stop listening if someone tells me, "You did this to me" and start slinging mud right back! Be honest about your feelings and ask for her help in learning about RLS.

Learn all you can about RLS yourself and see if she will check out the information the Foundation gives out about RLS. DON'T tell her you talked about this with others on the discussion board. It will only embarrass her but DO tell her you've met lots of other people here that have the same problem.

There's even a chance that she doesn't remember saying anything. Of course, that means it came out by accident and she thinks it but hasnt' said anything before.

I empathize with her; my husband snores and I would love to just put a pillow over his head sometimes. But he doesn't do it on purpose anymore than you kick around. Use that analogy on her.

I'm probably rambling and you'll be wondering "who is this crazy woman?' Just keep us informed as to how it's going...you're family now!
You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself! (Glinda of Oz)

ripcord
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 3:39 pm

X wife

Post by ripcord »

Hey Kirk- I'll never forget when my X-wife told me to "just get over it" when on a so-called drug holiday when taking klonopin. I've never really gotten over that. It hurt and things were never really the same after that.

I hope your situation goes better!

waterloo2
Posts: 466
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:51 pm

Post by waterloo2 »

Hi Kirk

0h dear what a wife you have. I hope that one day soon she gets it and knows exactly what your going through hon.

love gill (UK)

snowbound
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Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:48 am
Location: Big Smoke
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Post by snowbound »

waterloo2 wrote:Hi Kirk

0h dear what a wife you have. I hope that one day soon she gets it and knows exactly what your going through hon.

love gill (UK)

My ex wife was uncaring towards my RLS problems also but i would not wish this upon her or anyone else for that matter...



snowbound
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. ~ J. Pierpoint Morgan

Aiken
Posts: 880
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:53 am

Post by Aiken »

Yeah, that's the thing... most of us would like for some people to know what it's like, but to know what it's like is usually to be stuck with it, and that's a bit extreme to wish on anyone.

Well, almost anyone. :twisted:
Disclaimer: I often talk about what I do and what works for me, but these are specific to me and you should always consult a healthcare professional before trying these things yourself, lest you endanger your health or life.

SquirmingSusan
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Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2006 4:08 am
Location: Minnesota
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Post by SquirmingSusan »

Snowbound, you're a lot kinder than I am. There are some doctors out there... :twisted: [/i]
Susan

Michelle
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:31 am

I feel for you

Post by Michelle »

Hi Kirk, I feel so badly for you and your post even brought me to tears. I can sympathize with you. We don't wish to have this disease or anybody else to get it, but yet we are stuck with it and have to live with it. It's horrible. I'm so sorry that she had a lack of understanding and got pissed at you. I hope you two have worked it out by now.

Scarlett46
Posts: 107
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 6:43 pm
Location: Michigan

Post by Scarlett46 »

Rubyslipper wrote:There's even a chance that she doesn't remember saying anything. Of course, that means it came out by accident and she thinks it but hasnt' said anything before.


Let me just say that even this may not be true...

I am a sleep talker. I say things that would never cross my lips (not to mention my mind) while awake. I swear like a sailor in my sleep. I have active conversations with my husband in my sleep. I say evil, mean things to him in my sleep. Sometimes they seem related to his side of the conversation, sometimes they make no sense at all. I have absolutely no memory of these incidents.

He tells me the stories. We laugh. I apologize. Although he understands (now) that I have no control over these outbursts. He says it's like I have Tourette's Syndrome, but only in my sleep. I've never researched it, but I wonder if that is possible?
"After all... Tomorrow is another day!"

RLSDaisy
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:40 am
Location: USA

matress topper

Post by RLSDaisy »

Short of a new mattress, you may want to check into the purchaseof a mattress topper... Walmart and BigLots (I see you are in MO) have temperpedic toppers which run about $100 - $200 maybe less or more depending on mattress size and location of store...

A friend of ours who recently went through surgery to remove a cancerous kidney purchased a queen size topper 4" thick at Walmart in Wichita for under $150 and has been very pleased with it.

just a thought...

RLSDaisy
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:40 am
Location: USA

opps

Post by RLSDaisy »

I see there are more pages... after posting suggestion... opps... :oops:

and there is an opps emoticons... :wink:
RLS Daisy a Moonflower in disguise

ScooterGranny
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:32 pm

Post by ScooterGranny »

Kirk, I just found this forum and read your post and the comments that followed. I have been dx'd w/MS & RLS for about 5 years. The RLS gives me more fits at the moment. No one can understand what it is like and the frustration that we feel when this "kicks-in." Luckily I am married to a very understanding man. However, we found the solution to the issues you and your wife face quite accidently when he had shoulder surgery. It was fairly extensive and the recovery period was lengthy. During that period, we opted to sleep in separate rooms. We actually discovered that we both slept better, so we have continued to do so. We have regular "together time" but now I don't feel like I am literally kicking him out of bed, or frustrated by trying to be still. And his snoring no longer keeps me awake or wakes me once I have finally gotten to sleep. This isn't something for everyone and sometimes I still feel guilty, although he and I both agree this works best for us. In the long run, I think it has strengthened our marriage. Something you might want to consider. :D

Michelle
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 6:31 am

Post by Michelle »

Kirk, I do the same thing and my husband and I sleep in different rooms. He snores as well and I have such bad RLS that I kick him to death. This way it works for both of us and we get sound sleep. Good luck!

HeatherB
Posts: 116
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:00 am

Post by HeatherB »

Kirk, I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope thing get better between the two of you and with your RLS.
I am fortunate that my hubby and I have different sleep schedules and have had for most of the 11 years we have been together. He goes to bed around 9pm and is up between 4 and 7 in the morning, depending on work. I'm up until 2 am and don't get up in the morning until 10. My husband sleeps like a rock too, so that helps. I think a twister could take the house and he would sleep right through it! :o

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