My husband (or wife or family) finally GETS IT!

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
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jan3213
Posts: 1706
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 8:46 pm
Location: Illinois

My husband (or wife or family) finally GETS IT!

Post by jan3213 »

Just thought I'd start a new thread. You can insert whatever you want to in the heading. But, I want to tell you all about my husband.

Those of you who've known me for a long time, know that there was a time when my husband didn't get it at all (RLS). He'd say things like "Why don't you just go to sleep?" or "I couldn't sleep either--everyone has a night like that." And, all of this was while we were living and sleeping together (well, we are now LOL), but you know what I mean. He saw my agony, etc.

Over the past few years, he's been getting better and better. But, we were just on vacation in Myrtle Beach, S.C. and, after a day of walking, walking, WALKING in Charleston, my legs were crazy! I could have taken the whole bottle of meds and it wouldn't have helped. You all know what I mean.

Well, that night, was horrible. I practially tore the sheets off the bed kicking, stretching, etc. But, all night, my husband would scratch (or tickle) my back, trying to get my mind off of my legs. Bless his heart. He said, "Honey, is it your legs?" before they got really bad and he started tickling my back. I'd fall of to sleep, only to be awakened by my stupid legs and pain. He spent probably two or three hours doing that for me. This isn't the first time, but how far we've come!

So, for all of you who have spouses, families, friends, or whoever, who don't get it, hang in there. Once in awhile someone will get it. My husband and I have been through so much. He's been so good this year after my back surgery, now diabetes and my RLS. It does happen. God love him!

Hang in there all of you!!!

Love
Jan
No one is alone who had friends.

Penguinrocks
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Post by Penguinrocks »

Bless his heart!

I'm so happy for you My Jannie.....

love you
Beware the Penguin

ViewsAskew
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Post by ViewsAskew »

Sometimes life is good. Really, really good.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

ctravel12
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Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
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my husband (or wife or family) finally GETS IT

Post by ctravel12 »

Hi Jan I am so glad to hear that. You have been on my mind lately, in fact, I said a prayer this am hoping that all is ok with you and then I read your post.

Yes it does make a difference. I think that my husband is starting to realize that too and it sure helps doesn't it.

Take care and have a great day.

Love ya
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

becat
Posts: 2842
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:41 pm

Post by becat »

It can happen, just living proof that with the pratice we gte here, talking and explaining our own fight gets easier, and the results are this.

That someone that you share your life with, outside this board, can empathize with an honest heart.

Gotta love that baby!

Yeah! I'm so glad you have him, he's a nice guy. Tell him I said so. :D

Love ya Lynne

Neco
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Post by Neco »

I wouldn't say my family... "gets it".. But they have learned to accept it. No one really bugs me about it like they used to though... I know my one aunt & uncle back in MD never gave me problems over it.. He's got juvenial diabetes (passed it on to his son... ) and she had her own issues growing up.. A lot worse than what I went through, and I went through some tough sh** even back then.. So I guess they are more open to things and understand.

They are the only two people who can put me into tears when discussing "issues"... heh

Summer
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:17 pm

Post by Summer »

Another sleepness night, but I feel so relieved by everything I've seen on different parts of this site. Each category/topic is something that I have experienced, and it feels so much better knowing it is not just "me". I had just found this site a few days ago. Probably the most comforting has been this topic. My poor husband. I have been flying off the handle with him, screaming, crying, moody, and he just continues to "accomodate me". He rubs my back, too :) (ie. another's email) and he asks about my sleep all the time. I am very lucky he puts up with me. I feel bad for him. I have lost control of my moods, thought I try so hard. Yet, I have cut out everything that can make this condition worse (caffeine, smoking, certain foods, start excersing etc.), but it has not helped.
t feels comforting to know "us girls" are in the same boat, yet have wonderful support.

ctravel12
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my husband (or wife or family) finally GETS IT!

Post by ctravel12 »

Hi Summer and welcome to this group. Have you seen a dr regarding your rls and your sleep depreviation? If not, please do as your quality of life is so important.

Please keep us posted on you are doing. We all have been down that road and can be a very lonely and rough one.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

Rubyslipper
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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Post by Rubyslipper »

Baby steps, that's what we take with RLS, baby steps. But they are steps in the right direction. Way to go, Jan! I know what a struggle it has been for you. You give us all hope.
You've always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself! (Glinda of Oz)

Summer
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 6:17 pm

Post by Summer »

I may be a little behind you all (and therefore hopefully not naive!) but my Dr. finally prescribed my Ambian to help me catch up on sleep. Though it took me a couple of nights to feel finally caught up, I DID notice my moods increasing each day of. I did even mention my crazy moodiness to him (wondering if it was the Requip) and he just point blankly said it is probably not the Requip working, and just moodiness caused by a lot of lack of sleep. I think he was right!

Scary though, because now that I know I am finally caught up on sleep with the Ambian, going to put it aside and try the Miraplex. Wish me luck Sooo afraid of being dispappointed...

becat
Posts: 2842
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:41 pm

Post by becat »

Hi Summer,

Honey, don't be scared, that said, we all understand trying any new med is scary.

I'm so glad you got some sleep. Yes, it certainly makes a person a bit more whole.
I've always said, give me some sleep and pain management and I can handle anything.
Sleep deprivation can do some awful things to our minds and bodies, so don't be so hard on yourself. This does give you the chance to know more in the future, if sleep does not find you....sometimes I don't even count to 10, I might have to count to 100! :D

You learn as you go with RLS, and no better education than in these post, wiht these wonderful people. We learn best from each other. Your doing fine as far as I can see.

Hope that the Mirapex is working well and life is whole again for you.
Lynne

ngarde
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:40 pm
Location: Ireland

Re: My husband (or wife or family) finally GETS IT!

Post by ngarde »

jan3213 wrote:Just thought I'd start a new thread. You can insert whatever you want to in the heading. But, I want to tell you all about my husband.

Those of you who've known me for a long time, know that there was a time when my husband didn't get it at all (RLS). He'd say things like "Why don't you just go to sleep?" or "I couldn't sleep either--everyone has a night like that." And, all of this was while we were living and sleeping together (well, we are now LOL), but you know what I mean. He saw my agony, etc.

Over the past few years, he's been getting better and better. But, we were just on vacation in Myrtle Beach, S.C. and, after a day of walking, walking, WALKING in Charleston, my legs were crazy! I could have taken the whole bottle of meds and it wouldn't have helped. You all know what I mean.

Well, that night, was horrible. I practially tore the sheets off the bed kicking, stretching, etc. But, all night, my husband would scratch (or tickle) my back, trying to get my mind off of my legs. Bless his heart. He said, "Honey, is it your legs?" before they got really bad and he started tickling my back. I'd fall of to sleep, only to be awakened by my stupid legs and pain. He spent probably two or three hours doing that for me. This isn't the first time, but how far we've come!

So, for all of you who have spouses, families, friends, or whoever, who don't get it, hang in there. Once in awhile someone will get it. My husband and I have been through so much. He's been so good this year after my back surgery, now diabetes and my RLS. It does happen. God love him!

Hang in there all of you!!!

Love
Jan



OH MY GOD :o :o :o :o :o
my boyfriend is so so funny when it comes to my RLS! He's like 'have you got that stupid twitchy leg thing again?' But as time has gone on, he's learned that i dont' put it on and it is heartbreaking not to be able to relax. He gives me my space in bed and massages my legs if we're watching the tele! He's a god send most of the time! I think RLS is very hard for non-sufferers to understand. But people close get use to it and accept it!
I'm so so tired!!

beckie101
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Apr 25, 2009 9:20 am

:)

Post by beckie101 »

my boyfriend spent most of last night stroking my hair and talking about what we are going to do on holiday to try and take my mind off my legs - bless him. he too must have spent several hours just trying to calm me down until i eventually did get to sleep. don't know what i would do without him sometimes!
x

HeatherB
Posts: 116
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:00 am

Post by HeatherB »

I'm glad to hear everyone is having any easier time with people understanding or at least excepting what is going on with you!

My husband sleeps so hard he don't realize anything is going on! I can kick him and he don't wake up. (I have Periodic Limb Movement Disorder as well)
During the day though he understood if I had to get up and move around leaving him in the middle of a conversation. He understood I had to stop at every rest area on trips. Even a one hour trip.

Thankfully now that I'm Klonopin I don't have symptoms anymore! Well, until my body adjusts to the dosage!

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