Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS) Discussion Board

When my rls is driving me to insanity, when i'm leaping all over the bed, when i'm kicking my husband sensless
he says ....go to the settee i can't get any sleep

Now when i am having good nights and getting lots of lovely sleep
he says....you just ignore me , you go to sleep

I can't win,i want the sleep ,get it and enjoy it
my husband wants the sleep.....but says i ignore him

can't win!


moonlight x

Next time you're kicking him and he tells you to leave, just tell him you didn't want him to think you were ignoring him

LOL Zach, good idea.

Moonlight, this is not a new problem for me. I went for years kicking my husband until he trained himself to sleep curled up on 1/8 th of the bed. When the RLS is really bad, but I do sleep, it's just awful because it's not rest, just exhaustion.

You and he are in a huge learning cycle right now.

1. You know the name.
2. Your trying hard to get the right treatment for the RLS.
3. He might think your the only ones that live this way, you know better because your here.

Moonlight we all practiced talking about RLS right here on this board. Not only to one another, but to those we cared to tell.....spouses, partners, family, friend, co-workers, bosses......you name it, I've tried to explain things to many people. Some will never understand, nor will the even empathize with you.

However, the more you understand this RLS stuff the better you'll get at talking about it.

It's just downright hard to do anything right when your exhausted and the RLS has taken a heavy toll. No two ways about it.
It's not that you can't win, just that your brain, body, and emotions are on the RLS train and his are trying to cope with you. Or, like my husband, he thouhgt if he just said or did the right thing it would go away, help me, or ??????? I don't know.

So on those lovely nights that RLS is away, try to Not "ignore him" and them sleep well.
The plus on this is a double sided thing. He's relieved and happy, and you are in a place where you can pay more attention. Hard to do without sleep.

Your not wrong, nor is he, you both just need to calmly have a chat about this. Try taking him to dinner and ask if the two of you could talk about this. Better yet, take a nice long walk.....you almost have to work things out!
You both need a chance to express your side of the story and you both need to understand that RLS has this out of control whammy on the person that has it.

Would he act this way if you were in an accident and hurt? No, so you know deep down he truely cares and most likely, wants more than anything to make it right. He just can't, but he can help.

MY Hugs to you ((((((((Moonlight)))))))
Lynne

Hi Moonlight, Lynne gave you some good advise. I do not have the severe plmd so do not kick hubby at night (at least do not think so LOL) but had severe rls last year and it took time for the both of us to talk about it.

Like I have said many times before until they walk in your shoes they have no idea what you are going through.

Hubby and I had alot of long talks last year and he definitely has more empathy than before.

Good luck and know that things will work out for you.

Hey Moonlight~

You've had two great people talk to you and I'm just gonna add a little bit.

I remember when my own husband said to me--when I couldn't sleep and my RLS was bad--"Well, if you're tired, just go to sleep." Gee! Wish I had thought of that! He didn't realize then that I couldn't sleep, couldn't lie still--even though he saw me up walking all night and, sometimes, even walked with me. Now, after several years of living with someone who has RLS, he is so understanding. It's incredible!

Lynne is so right when she says you and your husband are in a learning cycle. Before I found this forum, even though I had RLS and had for years, I still had so much to learn about it. I think I still do. One of the things I had to learn was how to tell others what I had, including my own family.

And, Lynne is so right when she talks about how exhaustion effects your own attitude and the way you (not just meaning you, but all of us) react to others. Just hang in there, keep talking about it to us (never worry about talking too much!). Look at Lynn's signature line about being in the boat together, etc. We'll help row your boat anytime you need it!

Sending big hugs
Jan

Hi Jan it is so good to see you posting. You are such a wonderful and caring friend. Thanks for being there for everyone including myself. I hope that you are also feeling better.

Take care and love you.

I got a chance to chat with moonlight today. We chatted for about an hour and had a good time. I am going to try and get on around 4pm az. time as she says that it is a good time for her. So if anyone else wants to chat then it will be either 5 or 6 pm your time wherever you live.

I enjoy the chat as you get to know each other on a one to one basis and that is somethiing that we all need. As we were talking, I was telling Moonlight that I was getting ready for dinner and here she was getting ready for bed. In Arizona she is 7 hrs ahead of me.

Moonlight hope that you are sleeping good now but will see this post tomorrow. Have a nice evening and a good day tomorrow. Again, it was great chatting with you today.

Take care of yourself.

Moonlight and I chatted this morning. We have a six hour time difference. I really enjoyed our chat and am enjoying getting to know her.

Charlene, you do a great job on the chat line!

Love
Jan

T hank you Jan you are so sweet. I am glad that you were able to chat with moonlight too. She sounds like such a nice person.

Hi there

You guys are embaressing me, I really enjoyed chatting ,it is lovely getting to know you all, you are all so friendly, and have made me feel really welcome.

Yes I come on in the afternoon some times and at 10pm most nights .
I look forward to chatting again.


moonlight x

Hey Moonlight I am so glad that we are able to chat with you and am glad that we make you feel welcome. You are a "special person" and glad that you joined our "family". You have a great weekend and will try to get on the chat again real soon.