Chronic Illnesses Ruining My Relationships

Share how living with this disease can and does impact your relationships. How do you cope? What questions to you have?
snowbound
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Postby snowbound » Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:51 am

I can certainly relate to the title of this thread and my sympathies go out. I already have one marriage done mainly because of chronic illness and plenty of relationships after that were terminated for basically the same reason. This might sound crazy but i don't even bother anymore. I'm tired of the hurt...
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. ~ J. Pierpoint Morgan

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sardsy75
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Postby sardsy75 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 6:11 am

Hey Snowbound,

I can totally see where you're coming from.

My problem is not the lack of wanting to, it's the entire disapperance of my libido. It's gone ... where? Wish I knew.

There's been some really weird side-effects come on lately, the completely dry mouth is one; makes it impossible to talk sometimes! As are the tremors in my hands, and sometimes my whole body.

Last week I printed out all the CMI's (Consumer Medical Info) for ALL of the prescribed drugs i'm on, and also for some of the non-prescribed stuff I use.

I was also looking at an article on Depression on the MyDr website.

Made a few interesting links and have had a few thoughts about changing things; made a few notes on paper. Now all i have to to do is see whether my Sleep Doc and my new GateKeeper will go for the idea ... particularly since it involves changing a couple of medications entirely.

I'm hoping that the changes might lead to my libido coming out of its self-imposed early retirement coz I feel really guilty about not "wanting to", when really, I do.

Hope that all made sense.
Nadia

My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!

ViewsAskew
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Postby ViewsAskew » Sun Nov 30, 2008 6:44 am

Nadia, if you find yours, see if mine is with it somewhere.....
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

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Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

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sardsy75
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Postby sardsy75 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:31 am

LOL ... I'll keep you posted ... neva know, might find them hiding on an undiscovered tropical island ...
Nadia



My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!

ViewsAskew
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Postby ViewsAskew » Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:33 pm

I could handle that...

Funny, mine seems to have come back twice this last month! Twice in a month I actually wanted to have sex. Huh.

The only thing I did different was to take some of this NADH stuff a few times. I think it correlated with that, but it could be chance. Not sure.

Am going to try to remember to take it again this coming week and see if I notice any correlation again.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest



Managing Your RLS



Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

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sardsy75
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Postby sardsy75 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:20 am

Right ... i've concluded that my libido is off on an extended holiday in the Bahama's (wish it coulda given me some notice).

The girls have been away for three weeks and what have Troy and I done as a couple? Nothing, zip, zero, nada, zilch ...

Oh ... we went fishin last Friday night and even the fish weren't biting so we had to put a whole bucket of live bait ... back in the water.

Yeah ... his libido is still kickin.

Yeah ... i've done my bit ...

I was going to ask him if he wanted to go to the movies tonight (despite the fact that there's cricket on), but then he decided he'd work the late shift tonight ... instead of last night (Thursday) ... which would've been much more logical.

So, yeah ... without the kids around, i'm gettin to know the cat and dog very well ... e.g. the dog hates rain and thunder but loves taking me for a walk; the cat loves one of the blankets on our bed because to her it feels like cat fur (go figure), she also likes to snuggle right in against you when it's snooze/sleep time, "cow" is STILL being carried around the house, by his bum ... i've had cats all my life and i've never had one that's had as much of an attachment to a stuffed toy as this "cow" ... e.g. if she's left him in our bedroom and we're all in the lounge, she'll go and fetch him and vice versa. Sometimes she can't push our bedroom door open while he's in her mouth so she drops him at the door and just comes in by herself, satisfied that he's within close enough proximity to her ... we just stand on him and yell "RAVEN!!!!".

Back to the topic at hand ... We went up to see my mum last weekend. She had the first of her knee replacement surgeries the week before.

When I woke up on Monday it was as though i'd been through a wringer. My hands, wrists, arms, feet, ankles and thighs ached like all hell ... Fibro ... Chronic Fatigue ... Take your pick really.

Yup, I can put my happy face on, but it did a magnificent slide off my face on Tuesday when I saw my counsellor, who immediately said "you are NOT going back to Rocky." No problem, can I go home and rest my aching body now?

I have major self-esteem problems right now, but will leave it at that.
Nadia



My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!

doety
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talking

Postby doety » Fri May 22, 2009 8:52 pm

I appreciate this straight talk so much. We simply have to do that for each other. I remember being in an Al-anon meeting once where a woman was complaining about her husband not wanting sex. An older woman that everyone loved and respected spoke up quickly and said: "Honey, get a vibrator!!" Everyone laughed, the tension was broken - and just in case someone thought it was bad or dirty etc. to do that, this respected woman put that to bed (sorry). Anyway. It's another thing to offer when we're not feeling up to having full-out intercourse. I have a little vibrator I got from Brookstone ($25 I think) and if I'm having pain in my hands from arthritis, this helps and my husband enjoys it.
Ann, I think it's wonderful that the two of you take the time to be sure that you are close at least once a day. That's what is really important.
Thank goodness for the wonderful people on this board!!


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