I'm just mad!
Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 1:11 am
This part of the discussion board isn't used much so probably few will read this. Maybe that's a good thing because I'm going on a rant now.
I love my husband, I truly do. Most of the time he seems to understand the junk I am going through. But then he turns around and I realize he doesn't get it at all. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. Maybe I'm just a whiner; but I am tired unto death of life as I know it.
Some of you know that my husband is disabled. A weird disease and he truly is disabled. I would not put up with a pretender. Besides, if you knew my husband you would realize that he is at heart a worker. Lately he has not been feeling very well and I'm afraid he is having a relapse.
This is a real cause for concern as his strength is not great as it is.
So what is my complaint? When I have a bad day, week whatever, he is sympathetic but that's as far as it goes. When he has a bad day or week, it creates new things for me to have to deal with. He gets tired easily but he can rest when he needs to. I do not have that luxury. I have been sick this week-end but I still had to help with the farm work (yes, the same farm work I stated that I love).
This is all just a bunch of sour grapes on my part I know. But I just feel that since I am still working, then surely I can't be in too bad of a shape. I get tired of the lack of concern by my entire family. Oh, just ask Kathy, she will take care of it. Whether it's in the capacity of mother, wife, daughter, sister or friend, there I am. And if I get up the nerve to confront them or say no, than I feel guilty.
Case in point (yes, it is petty but still...) I spent one whole day cleaning the carpets. No help from anyone. Moving furniture, the works. Got it done and it looks great. Hubby and I were having trouble getting the cows moved and he had to run in the house for a minute. Guess wha't now on my clean carpet. But do I tell him to clean up his *%$#@ mess or do it myself and fume. Is it worth the hassle and him getting on his high horse because it really wasn't his fault? I'm not sure what I will do. Whatever it is will cause stress. Guess what the dr told me was a large part of my problems? Stress of course. No matter what I do, I'll be ticked off.
Okay, this doesn't really make sense and besides I have no one to blame but myself. I'm just really tired of being the beast of burden. Suck it up and go on. Easier said than done!
I love my husband, I truly do. Most of the time he seems to understand the junk I am going through. But then he turns around and I realize he doesn't get it at all. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. Maybe I'm just a whiner; but I am tired unto death of life as I know it.
Some of you know that my husband is disabled. A weird disease and he truly is disabled. I would not put up with a pretender. Besides, if you knew my husband you would realize that he is at heart a worker. Lately he has not been feeling very well and I'm afraid he is having a relapse.
This is a real cause for concern as his strength is not great as it is.
So what is my complaint? When I have a bad day, week whatever, he is sympathetic but that's as far as it goes. When he has a bad day or week, it creates new things for me to have to deal with. He gets tired easily but he can rest when he needs to. I do not have that luxury. I have been sick this week-end but I still had to help with the farm work (yes, the same farm work I stated that I love).
This is all just a bunch of sour grapes on my part I know. But I just feel that since I am still working, then surely I can't be in too bad of a shape. I get tired of the lack of concern by my entire family. Oh, just ask Kathy, she will take care of it. Whether it's in the capacity of mother, wife, daughter, sister or friend, there I am. And if I get up the nerve to confront them or say no, than I feel guilty.
Case in point (yes, it is petty but still...) I spent one whole day cleaning the carpets. No help from anyone. Moving furniture, the works. Got it done and it looks great. Hubby and I were having trouble getting the cows moved and he had to run in the house for a minute. Guess wha't now on my clean carpet. But do I tell him to clean up his *%$#@ mess or do it myself and fume. Is it worth the hassle and him getting on his high horse because it really wasn't his fault? I'm not sure what I will do. Whatever it is will cause stress. Guess what the dr told me was a large part of my problems? Stress of course. No matter what I do, I'll be ticked off.
Okay, this doesn't really make sense and besides I have no one to blame but myself. I'm just really tired of being the beast of burden. Suck it up and go on. Easier said than done!