debbluebird wrote:My husband will say to me, what's wrong ? Or, you seem crabby. Another one is, he says that I don't always make sense. Plus I don't remember a lot of that. When I hear those remarks from him, I know that I haven't had enough sleep. We've only been married a few years, 5, but we are very honest with each other. We tell each other how we feel about everything. In my two other marriages, we didn't do that. They failed. My husband knows me so well, that I trust him explicitly. Also, when we do have a fight, once it's talked out, it's over. If he's the one who's very angry, then I let him calm down, then we talk. Marriage isn't easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
We have been married 37 years and my wife knew me from childhood. I have had severe RLS for 13 years. For 24 years of our marriage I virtually, we virtually, had no health problems. We meant in grade school 49 years ago when she was 8 years old and I was 9. So the fact is that she has known me for 36 years as one person and 13 years as who I am now. That turns out to be 64% of the time she has known me, the guy she married, was as healthy, normal. The other important fact about RLS/WED for me, and most sufferers (from reading mostly from this site) is that once in awhile RLS sufferers get very close to getting back to their healthy selves (I don't believe that my wife for instance can tell that when I appear normal that the drugs are always there and I am never totally free of it). So occasionally she see me again as my old self.
People in general remember the good times. My wife remembers the good times. It is strange but I will be talking to her about a period of time when I virtually did not sleep for years but she has little recollection of it, it was not good times. So much of the past 13 years of my condition she has put out of her mind! I am absolutely positive about that, it is weird but she remembers the good times and throws out the bad. So instead of the 64% of the time she has known me as healthy, the value has been tampered with by her memory that remembers the good, and suppresses the bad (like most normal people) so I don't doubt that it appears to her that I have been healthy more like 90% or more of the time that she has known me.
Thus the unsolvable problem continues, she continually puts out of her mind the bad times, and I am left wanting.