Re: Taking hints
Posted: Fri May 03, 2013 9:20 am
I also am aware of the difference between me yrs ago and now. I have to be very careful that I do not make mistakes (which in of itself has caused a lot of huge problems for me---my family now has 2 sets of rules 1 for me very strict and accurate and the other for everyone else that is allowed to make mistakes and expects to be treated normally about them, eg, tonight I dozed off after diner and about 20min later my wife woke me asking a series of not important questions--what the dog did recently etc....so she went out and I called to ask what she wanted {couldn't remember the first 2 questions}and she told me she did not wake me---dugh I should know if I was awoke or not, and why the need to argue the point--if it was anyone else she would not question if it was accureate or not as it is needless info and she never does that {She knew she woke me too because she explained why she had to get the dog quietly so as not to wake me} ) but this is all because I've inadvertantly built up a set of expectations in those around me about my behavoir--so now everyone seems to be able to walk all over me. This sort of stuff is happening a lot now--to the point that I don't want to see or talk to anyone.
I am also having to deal with the lack of sleep over the meds so I can both respect myself and behave more normally---but it comes at a heavy cost, that 20 min nap is the only sleep I have had and am likely to not get more tonight--as it's almost 5:30am now and I have a dr's appointment this am. The norm is now about that amount of sleep, if I don't screw it up. The meds can make it so much worse around here though. I don't take a DA, can't. But even still if I tke enough meds to sleep a few hrs a night (like 2-3) I end up very negative and have no relaxation deep inside. It makes everyone hypersensitive around me which in turn causes me to screw up--trying to fix things.
I am also having to deal with the lack of sleep over the meds so I can both respect myself and behave more normally---but it comes at a heavy cost, that 20 min nap is the only sleep I have had and am likely to not get more tonight--as it's almost 5:30am now and I have a dr's appointment this am. The norm is now about that amount of sleep, if I don't screw it up. The meds can make it so much worse around here though. I don't take a DA, can't. But even still if I tke enough meds to sleep a few hrs a night (like 2-3) I end up very negative and have no relaxation deep inside. It makes everyone hypersensitive around me which in turn causes me to screw up--trying to fix things.