It totally makes sense. I hope my quip was not overstepping the mark and apologise if it did so.
I was never a skinny child, not even near it but was 'OK'.
Height is 5'6" and most of my teens and twenties I was a UK 14 -16, doing what I wanted and eating what I wanted. Those were the days of dancehalls, the Irish Showbands and jiving, going maybe 3 or 4 times weekly so lots of great exercise. Curvy but not fat though I always fancied being more slim some day.
Over the years a few lbs were gained and going to a 'fat class' with a friend got shot of them.... the first time.
makes it harder is that as many people who've dieted in the past is that I always gained it back plus some (and research backs that up), so long ago I made a pledge to never diet again. I
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Within a year I was back at the 'fat class' weighing more that when I went the first time.
When I slipped from checking daily fats/carbs/sugars then I stopped weighing myself because I couldn't face reading the scales.
And so I was heavier - RLS Medication I believe did give me an eating compulsion in particular during the insomniac nights.
I do try to control this now but it lasted for several years and did a lot of damage, including emotional and great disappointment in myself. I would be disgusted at myself at what I'd eat during the night. And noone knows how much I would have binge eaten.
At present I'm the heaviest I've ever been.
Over the last few years my health has taken a battering and a lot of it is my own fault i.e. weight related.
And so, my portion sizes are now reduced, as I move forward. I cannot face the 'diet regime' or the Fat Class again.
I no longer aspire to be slim as I did in my youth, but do want to feel better.
Your post has grounded me somewhat as to how I have slackened and made me take note - thank you.