Lunesta
Hi Em,
I wanted to let you know that it's on my calander ( I love whoever started that WAM and Brandy I think), you'll be with me all day that day.
No matter what the surgery is, it's ok to cry. Even if it's not about the surgery. You get my point.
I have spent weeks in tears, still can't watch too much TV, as the news kills me. I have had a huge swollen nose, red patches, swollen eyes that will not bare makeup.........Just a huge cry baby. My good attitude and straight thoughts GONE....right out the window.....it's ok.
Not you, not myself, no one can keep a brave front all the time. When I need to I let it fall and crawl under the biggest rock I can find. You've noticed that I haven't posted much since New Years.....well life hit me hard again and I had nothing to say, but whaaaaaaaaa. So I came to the board and read. Added what I could, but mostly just worked the site, not added to it. But I was here and I soaked up the love and the support.
Today I got myself up and went to bowling, UGH! Early as it was I showered, put on makeup, dressed to make myself smile and I was off to spend the time I normally get with my best "in town" friends. Ready? Knowing when I saw them I would cry again and I did. But I got out there and did it, I made myself. I can't tell you that I can make myself do that all the time. As it turned out we bowled against some of the most insane people in town.......Not in a good way. They were rushing us the whole time. I was ready to take one of them out, even maybe really wanted the fight....
but I didn't and as usual we enjoyed our morning.
Em, I'm no Mary Poppins. I grieve my life style off and on, sometimes in the same week. Living with anything chronic is just not easy. It could be an illness, weight issues, maybe you might be born with a huge set of ears. There are some things in life we have control over, much of it we do not. You have not seen a break yet. If you ever do, and I believe with my whole heart you will, you will be more able to settle this in your own heart.
This Sunday when I hugged my son goodbye until May 4th.......I realized that life is simple a gamble with certain odds in our favor based on how we react and what path we choose to walk. Our ability to love, to support, to honor, to fight, to make peace is within wach of us. All of those things come with a price, I want to love even knowing that someday it will hurt. By that I mean that we can lose someone to death, break up, move on, or grow up and lead their own lives.
Somewhere along the way I learned that living well with RLS meant I had to fight. Somedays it's the doc I fight, somedays it's my body, there are so many days I fight myself to see that I am blessed.....even in this life style. I'm blessed.
I am right now staring at a picture of myself, Ann, Jumpyowl, Rubyslippers, Neph, and Mike from PA........the first RLS meeting I ever went to. We are all smiling. There is strength in this family and we wil carry each other through this. Maybe it's not ours that we are fighting for, but for our future.
I don't know my next move either. I don't know if I have one. But I will not let it stop me. I may not live long and at one time was sure of it, yes because of RLS and no, not at my own hands. I still plan for a future because that is my gift from God. I'm living today, in pain, with symptoms and I'll be good goshed (lol) if anything can take that from......at least for today.
I send you the moon, my heart, and my ongoing prayers.
Lynne
PS Randy I do the same thing, lol, meds or not. The Hubby as learned to say what he needs to, to make me shut up. LOL
I wanted to let you know that it's on my calander ( I love whoever started that WAM and Brandy I think), you'll be with me all day that day.
No matter what the surgery is, it's ok to cry. Even if it's not about the surgery. You get my point.
I have spent weeks in tears, still can't watch too much TV, as the news kills me. I have had a huge swollen nose, red patches, swollen eyes that will not bare makeup.........Just a huge cry baby. My good attitude and straight thoughts GONE....right out the window.....it's ok.
Not you, not myself, no one can keep a brave front all the time. When I need to I let it fall and crawl under the biggest rock I can find. You've noticed that I haven't posted much since New Years.....well life hit me hard again and I had nothing to say, but whaaaaaaaaa. So I came to the board and read. Added what I could, but mostly just worked the site, not added to it. But I was here and I soaked up the love and the support.
Today I got myself up and went to bowling, UGH! Early as it was I showered, put on makeup, dressed to make myself smile and I was off to spend the time I normally get with my best "in town" friends. Ready? Knowing when I saw them I would cry again and I did. But I got out there and did it, I made myself. I can't tell you that I can make myself do that all the time. As it turned out we bowled against some of the most insane people in town.......Not in a good way. They were rushing us the whole time. I was ready to take one of them out, even maybe really wanted the fight....
but I didn't and as usual we enjoyed our morning.
Em, I'm no Mary Poppins. I grieve my life style off and on, sometimes in the same week. Living with anything chronic is just not easy. It could be an illness, weight issues, maybe you might be born with a huge set of ears. There are some things in life we have control over, much of it we do not. You have not seen a break yet. If you ever do, and I believe with my whole heart you will, you will be more able to settle this in your own heart.
This Sunday when I hugged my son goodbye until May 4th.......I realized that life is simple a gamble with certain odds in our favor based on how we react and what path we choose to walk. Our ability to love, to support, to honor, to fight, to make peace is within wach of us. All of those things come with a price, I want to love even knowing that someday it will hurt. By that I mean that we can lose someone to death, break up, move on, or grow up and lead their own lives.
Somewhere along the way I learned that living well with RLS meant I had to fight. Somedays it's the doc I fight, somedays it's my body, there are so many days I fight myself to see that I am blessed.....even in this life style. I'm blessed.
I am right now staring at a picture of myself, Ann, Jumpyowl, Rubyslippers, Neph, and Mike from PA........the first RLS meeting I ever went to. We are all smiling. There is strength in this family and we wil carry each other through this. Maybe it's not ours that we are fighting for, but for our future.
I don't know my next move either. I don't know if I have one. But I will not let it stop me. I may not live long and at one time was sure of it, yes because of RLS and no, not at my own hands. I still plan for a future because that is my gift from God. I'm living today, in pain, with symptoms and I'll be good goshed (lol) if anything can take that from......at least for today.
I send you the moon, my heart, and my ongoing prayers.
Lynne
PS Randy I do the same thing, lol, meds or not. The Hubby as learned to say what he needs to, to make me shut up. LOL
Debbie, Lunesta did not help me sleep and I did have the nasty taste.(which I could handle if it helped me sleep). But it did make my RLS worse. I tried it twice and gave up. Ambian doesn't work on me either. The Lortab works for the pain and jumpy so I take that at night and sometime during the day. As needed. And as long as I'm not hurting I can sorta handle the lack of sleep. No naps during the day. Than makes going to sleep at night harder for me. But then if you get too tired the RLS is worse. A no win situation. Pat
Make Mine Coffee wrote:My surgery is on 2/21. Don't worry about me. I sort of don't want to go into details, but I should be back posting within a couple weeks after the surgery date. If I can stay away that long, anyway.
Hi Em I already marked my calendar and will do an extra, extra, extra prayer for you and know that all the rest of the family will be doing that too.
I know you will keep us posted and waiting to hear how everything turned out and I am keeping good thoughts. How about if I send you a huge hug for this
(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Charlene
Taking one day at a time
Taking one day at a time
Debbie, can we be roommates in the nut ward? I'm sure my hubby is ready for me to go there. I am so frustrated. I'm currently taking Vicadin and Rozerem and they're just not cutting it. I see my neuro on Weds. I don't even know what we'll try next.
I just want to sleep!!! Last night was Saturday so I could sleep in. I ended up being in bed 10 hours, but since I was up about every hour, I didn't feel the least bit rested today. I slept most of the afternoon. I've got things to do and no energy to do them. I know it just appears to my family that I'm lazy. I go to work during the week and give it my all, but that sucks out all the energy I have. I go home and into a 'coma nap' every day. I'm going CRAZY!!!
I just want to sleep!!! Last night was Saturday so I could sleep in. I ended up being in bed 10 hours, but since I was up about every hour, I didn't feel the least bit rested today. I slept most of the afternoon. I've got things to do and no energy to do them. I know it just appears to my family that I'm lazy. I go to work during the week and give it my all, but that sucks out all the energy I have. I go home and into a 'coma nap' every day. I'm going CRAZY!!!
Em, You remain on my mind and in my heart. I will hold you especially close as your surgery date arrives and you enter into the recovery period. Make sure you are clear with the doctors about your condition so that they use the right anesthesia, meds, etc. Crying is okay. We all do it. We try to keep a positive attitude, but if you read old posts you can see that all of have broken down at one time or another. You are okay. Don't compare your journey to others'. You have much to offer and you are a precious part of our family. Cry when you need to cry and we will do the same. Please let us know how things go when you can. I will be praying for you.
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. Albert Schweitzer
Hi to all,
D4 that is just what happens when the rest you need is not there in the order of healing rest. Waking up is for the birds and your right, give me all weekend to repair and I can go again. It's a horrible nightmare all the time.
I'm sleeping so Thank God, but I' drugged and sleep to long. My doctor and I try hard not to add or take away stuff to often, so it's seems or feels like a cycle. Deal with the RLS, in my case soem pain, and no sleep or just be knocked out. I don't care for that either.
I understand fully .........
"I know it just appears to my family that I'm lazy. I go to work during the week and give it my all, but that sucks out all the energy I have. I go home and into a 'coma nap' every day. I'm going CRAZY!!"
I'm not a lazy person. I have stuff to do as well, but it just gets harder when you never sleep well or at all.
I finally told myself that I would never be Mrs. Clever, much less Hazel.
My house is not cutely decorated, in place, or even close to organized.
Bless my poor hubby is very neat, organized, and orderly........I am not the girl he married by a long shot.
It's ok, the house will live without being dusted, the kids preferred me in the floor with them, and a nap never hurt NO BODY.
Give yourselves a break, even just a tiny one.
In the words of a song I heard, "I do because I'm able..." That struck me hard as I thought of my grandmother and how hard she worked all her life with horrible RLS. She was a very wise woman and she taught me to laugh first, love fully, forgive what your heart needs for you to, and live what life you've got......fight a bit to make it better.
This is not an easy disorder/illness/life style to deal with. We did not choose to have RLS. We did not cause our RLS. We do not always have the energy we thought we would, wish we did.
But it's ok, today we made it and tomorrow gives us the chance to try again. It's not easy, but save a seat for me in the nuthouse if looking lazy defines me.
Hugs and a lift to the moon for hope,
Lynne
D4 that is just what happens when the rest you need is not there in the order of healing rest. Waking up is for the birds and your right, give me all weekend to repair and I can go again. It's a horrible nightmare all the time.
I'm sleeping so Thank God, but I' drugged and sleep to long. My doctor and I try hard not to add or take away stuff to often, so it's seems or feels like a cycle. Deal with the RLS, in my case soem pain, and no sleep or just be knocked out. I don't care for that either.
I understand fully .........
"I know it just appears to my family that I'm lazy. I go to work during the week and give it my all, but that sucks out all the energy I have. I go home and into a 'coma nap' every day. I'm going CRAZY!!"
I'm not a lazy person. I have stuff to do as well, but it just gets harder when you never sleep well or at all.
I finally told myself that I would never be Mrs. Clever, much less Hazel.
My house is not cutely decorated, in place, or even close to organized.
Bless my poor hubby is very neat, organized, and orderly........I am not the girl he married by a long shot.
It's ok, the house will live without being dusted, the kids preferred me in the floor with them, and a nap never hurt NO BODY.
Give yourselves a break, even just a tiny one.
In the words of a song I heard, "I do because I'm able..." That struck me hard as I thought of my grandmother and how hard she worked all her life with horrible RLS. She was a very wise woman and she taught me to laugh first, love fully, forgive what your heart needs for you to, and live what life you've got......fight a bit to make it better.
This is not an easy disorder/illness/life style to deal with. We did not choose to have RLS. We did not cause our RLS. We do not always have the energy we thought we would, wish we did.
But it's ok, today we made it and tomorrow gives us the chance to try again. It's not easy, but save a seat for me in the nuthouse if looking lazy defines me.
Hugs and a lift to the moon for hope,
Lynne
Dear Emily,
I'm sorry, I haven't told you I'm thinking of you, too, as you draw closer to your surgery. As Brandy said, don't compare yourself to anyone else. It's normal to be afraid, to cry, to wonder how your RLS will be afterward. You have so many people who care about you, Emily.
Hugs
Jan
I'm sorry, I haven't told you I'm thinking of you, too, as you draw closer to your surgery. As Brandy said, don't compare yourself to anyone else. It's normal to be afraid, to cry, to wonder how your RLS will be afterward. You have so many people who care about you, Emily.
Hugs
Jan
No one is alone who had friends.
I too tried the Lunesta 2 mg and found the after-taste extremely nauseating and could not eat for 24 hours. Might be good for dieters, but I am underweight and fighting to keep it on. Leg cramping is getting worse....more often but the Clonazepam seems to help but it is not giving me a restful nights sleep anymore. I have an appointment with a Sleep Lab Physician April 27 to see if there needs to be some adjustments. I also am taking 10 mg of Ambien with only 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Will there ever be a day that we can sleep and feel rested ?? I have no social life anymore, work is suffering, family is getting frustrated and I am just exhausted by it all. All the brain power goes to work and there is nothing left for home. Had to prepare my federal taxes and broke down crying just at the thought and finally found a free agency that would do them for me. Anything beyond, work.....sleep is stressful and takes too much energy. I really don't know how you all cope with families.....at least I am single. BTW, has anybody found a correlation between food allergies (lactose intollerance, chocolate that exacerbates the symptoms).....maybe I am just desperate for a clue for what is happening.
Hi PJ,
You said 3-4 hours on Ambien, that is what happens to me too.
Haven't tried Lunesta, but heard that about the bad taste. I'll pass.
PJ,
I don't how any of us do it either? Thank God I do not work outside the house. I work at home and when I schedule it.
When I went to 24/7 RLS and it was painful all the time (I'm Morphed ) my boys were little. Almost 8 yrs. old......I had a great network of mommies (3) to back me up. Problem was I would never really tell them what was wrong or what I lived like. THE RLS SECRET.
Yes, there are days life seems like it requires too much energy. I lived that way, still do sometimes, for over 8-9 years. To hard to really describe.
Without sleep and some management your life gets tangled in the cycle of RLS.
Yes, you can have allergies to foods or certain liquids that can make RLS worse. Chocolate, caffeine, alcohol, some people say they have a problem with sugar.
It kinds depends on your own body, but I think you get the idea.
AND your not desperate for no reason, RLS really can disrupt a person's life.
Ask any doctor how they felt through residency? I bet if they really remember and multiply it by 10, more docs would understand us better.
Good Luck with the appt., please let us know how it goes.
Hugs
Lynne
You said 3-4 hours on Ambien, that is what happens to me too.
Haven't tried Lunesta, but heard that about the bad taste. I'll pass.
PJ,
I don't how any of us do it either? Thank God I do not work outside the house. I work at home and when I schedule it.
When I went to 24/7 RLS and it was painful all the time (I'm Morphed
) my boys were little. Almost 8 yrs. old......I had a great network of mommies (3) to back me up. Problem was I would never really tell them what was wrong or what I lived like. THE RLS SECRET.
Yes, there are days life seems like it requires too much energy. I lived that way, still do sometimes, for over 8-9 years. To hard to really describe.
Without sleep and some management your life gets tangled in the cycle of RLS.
Yes, you can have allergies to foods or certain liquids that can make RLS worse. Chocolate, caffeine, alcohol, some people say they have a problem with sugar.
It kinds depends on your own body, but I think you get the idea.
AND your not desperate for no reason, RLS really can disrupt a person's life.
Ask any doctor how they felt through residency? I bet if they really remember and multiply it by 10, more docs would understand us better.
Good Luck with the appt., please let us know how it goes.
Hugs
Lynne