Furious....and scared

[ViewsAskew]

I didn't hear from them today. I will be at the company's site on Monday - and possibly one or more days for the rest of the week. Depends on my function and if I have to interview people as part of my function.

I think I run out on Tuesday or Wednesday. I have a bit saved. I sort of have myself prepared for the worst, but am hoping that at the least they give me one to three months of scripts if they fire me so that I don't have to jump on the first plane to SoCal. I'm sure Dr B would fit me in if I had only a week of meds left and I know I can stay with my family or friends there, but I just don't want to be in that position. To go out there in early April when my contract is over works much better - I can take my time, get a cheaper flight, etc.

And if I get lucky and they keep me? Then all is still OK.

[Polar Bear]

Ann... not much fun to be having to think of this when starting a new job.
I do hope your doc is ok about everything, and not even thinking of firing you.

[ViewsAskew]

Me, too, PB!

[rthom]

Funny note---Ann I keep reading the post at the top of the page and for some reason it's takig me till almost the end before I figure out I've read it 5 times already!-- Dunnnhh

[rthom]

maybe you want to make an edit on the top that says---randy you've read this--move on!! lolol

[ViewsAskew]

Got a response from the doctor today - see me at a regular appointment. It was late when I got home so couldn't call. Will call in the morning. I do hope that they have one soon. At least she didn't fire me....

[Polar Bear]

I do hope you get an early doc appointment. How are you meds lasting.

[ViewsAskew]

I didn't get an appointment until next Wednesday - I guess that's fast, but since I technically run out before that, I'm not thrilled. I do have enough to cover it, fortunately. Now, to wait until then to see what's going on....

[rthom]

Boy that's nerve racking--i know if i need to use any of my in case of emergency medication I get stressed wondering if I will need to be without. I hope it goes really well and quickly for you Ann. This stress is so unreasonable--if it was diabetes would we......

[ViewsAskew]

I really do wish she'd told me what this was about. Are they going to fire me face to face? Tell me I have to start peeing in a cup every month to prove I'm not abusing? Who knows. I've actually stopped worrying about this. I'm too tired from the sleep schedule change and working through the day when my brain is so foggy and tired. Guess that's a good thing!

I agree rthom - someone with diabetes or some other chronic illness wouldn't be going through this. My BIL has diabetes and his doctors bend over backwards to help him.

[Polar Bear]

my husband has diabetis and gets first class treatment with regard to appointments etc.

[debbluebird]

It just doesn't seem right that we have to find ways to build up a stash. I've been lucky. My doctors through the years have always written for more than I use. Three a day, when I only use two. Then when you have to use the stash, it's nerve racking to try and build it up again. Sometimes for me it's been the pharmacy not having my drug and I have to wait a week or more. Like everyone has said, diabetes would not have to go through this.

DEB

[ViewsAskew]

I wouldn't dare admit to a stash with any doctor I've had, except one (Dr Buchfuhrer). He totally got that it changes day to day.

But, this doc, in the recent past, has been writing for me to take "4 to 5" a day. I've told her I need four some days and 5 others. I always go more than 30 days between refills, though. Each extra day is 4 or 5 days prior that I didn't take the full 5. I usually go 2-3 days longer than 30 days. Given that, you'd hope that she knows I'm not taking extra or anything.

I'm really not sure what she could want unless it's related to the pharmacy thing. Maybe they're worried that I won't be able to refill them and she wants me to try something else. While I'd really prefer something else to methadone (for many reasons), it absolutely resolves my symptoms the majority of the time with the least intrusive side effects compared to the other 15-20 drugs I've tried. I honestly don't want to screw with that.

I hate to be obstinate, but I've spent almost ten years on a crazy ride. I honestly don't want much upheaval right now.

Of course, since I have NO idea when I'm going to see her, I am conjecturing about things that may not matter in the least.

[Polar Bear]

Ann, the uncertainty will have you crossing every bridge imaginable until your appointment. I would be just the same.

And, I'd never admit to having a stash, it's such a comfort to have a safety net.

[debbluebird]

I never admitt to my stash. We've had so much trouble getting narcotics at the pharmacies. DEB