My "final" mixture and some news from experts I met

[badnights]

More on this interesting observation of Qyx's at viewtopic.php?f=4&t=8545

[QyX]

I am gonna make it quick.

I noticed in the last week of september a negative influence of the Clonazepam (tolerance, negative effects on emotions) and after speaking to a couple of people I decided it's the best to stop the Benzos. I switched to Diazepam and reduced the dose over a couple of weeks. At first I was feeling better but then I crashed completly.

I started augmenting on Pramipexole again. The SSRi I was taking was no longer preventing the augmentation. With the SSRi i was able to take a DA for over 3 months on a stable dose and I was optimistic that I could stay on Pramipexole. It didn't work out. I was forced to make a quick withdraw. As a result I landed in a big fat depression. It also became clear that the SSRi was working the other way around, causing tension and anxiety.

I was in the trap again. The analysis showed that I still have extreme compley mood problems and that I will need a working mood stabalizer again. I also wanted to take less opioids. Without Pramipexpole it was very easy to reduce Hydromorphone from 16 mg to 8 mg per day. With low potents opioids a even further reduction was possible but I had to go back on Hydromorphone because of the side effects. I was struggeling, unable to leave the bed and loaded with anxiety.

Last Monday I discussed a rescue plan with my doctor. We decided to start Lamotrigine again, a drug I had 2005-2006 with positive results. In my experience it is the only drug having a real mood stabalizing effect on me. Being Lamotrigine an anticonvulsant I have the hope that it will also improve my RLS.

Because of the high potency of Hydromorphone and my desire to get rid of the opioids I was able to convince my doctor to switch me on Morphine. Hydromorphone was the best opioid I had so far. In my case it was much more reliable then Oxycodone. When I was on Oxycodone my dose was always rising and rising and I needed to take it three times per day. Hydromorphone worked just fine when I was taking it every 12 hours but I feel this "opioid fog". I have the feeling that this "fog" is causing a lot problems related to mood, anxiety, concentration, memory etc.

All experts I saw told me that in my case opioids can't be avoided. They even gave me that in writing but I can't stop having the feeling that these drugs are somehow messing with me. I wanna see how it is without opioids but I can't stand the RLS-symptoms without them. There is simply too much restlesness and pain but my hope now is that Morphine being a natural substance and 8 times less potent then Hydromorphone it somehow could improve the situation. Maybe there is a way that I will only need an opioid for the night.

I am also starting Wellbutrin again. I had some positive experience with the drug in the past and hope that it will work again. I am gonna fill my new prescription tomorrow and will report here how it will work.

I don't expect so much from the morphine but it should be much easier to reduce the dose. My real big hope is the Lamotrigine because my overall depressive mood and anxiety became my #1 problem after my WED could be stabalized with opioids.

From now on I am gonna keep my distance to DAs and Benzos. For me they just come with too many side effects.

I had a few good weeks on Hydromorphone + Escitalopram + Pramipexole + Clonazepam but it just didn't work on the long term.

Now Morphine + Lamotrigine + Bupropione ...

Wish me luck. I really need it this time.

[ViewsAskew]

Wishing you lots of luck.