Stress, depression and RLS--that's me

For everything and anything else not covered in the other RLS sections.
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Rubyslipper
Posts: 992
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Stress, depression and RLS--that's me

Post by Rubyslipper »

When this board started out, there weren't too many of us but we quickly became close and supportive of each other. The board has moved on and we have become many. That is wonderful and even more wonderful is the caring that still is found here. At one time, I was on this board almost every day. That isn't possible for me anymore and I hope that it hasn't been held against me. Right now I need understanding and support and have come back to my friends once more for their help. My Dad had a neck operation earlier this year and is maybe finally getting better. This has been very hard because my mother depends totally on him. Now we have found out that Mom has lung cancer. As of right now, we don't know for sure what we will be doing for it. Last winter I had a real problem with depression (for no reason that I could figure out). This week it's started again. As least I know why. I am on an anti-depressant but all I want to do is sleep. When I'm asleep, it all goes away for awhile. Normally I am a fighter, but I just don't know how to handle this. If we can get the cancer under control, she then has a stomach aneurism and multiple blockages in her legs, kidneys, etc that have to be taken care of also. I can't seem to get my backbone back (stupid way of putting it, I know!) The RLS is under control right now but the fibro has settled into my back and is a killer. I don't know how to help her and the rest of my family. I'm rambling. Sorry. Except for Mom I'm back to that old "I don't really care about anything" feeling again and I hate it! For as little as I have been there for all of you lately, forgive me. Please help me out if you can. The wicked witch of the west has all her monkeys out this time and I can't handle them on my own. Ruby

ViewsAskew
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Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 6:37 am
Location: Los Angeles

Post by ViewsAskew »

Oh Ruby. Where is a bucket of water when you need it? If the witch were gone, those monkeys would surely go away. I'd be under the covers, too. What a lot to have gone through this year. So many things, so quickly, can induce an incredible amount of stress. It's hard to want to do anything when everything seems so overwhelming or that it just doesn't matter anyway.

You've paid your due with those who have been here for awhile. And for the newcomers, Ruby is the one who started the Useful Websites thread, something that we send first time visitors to see all of the time. You've not been forgotten, nor will you be. What a lot it says about this group that you're here when you need someplace to be heard, cared for, and understood.

I won't say it will get better, because it might not. But you will do your best. That's all you can do. Sometimes it doesn't seem like enough, but it has to be as you can't do more. Maybe your AD could be changed or the dose checked; your doc will know more about how to help you.

Many years ago I moved to Illinois to take care of my grandmother who had Alzheimers. I was young and alone. I did what I could, but would find myself hiding behind doors at times so I wouldn't have to face another conversation in which she didn't recognize me or would repeat the same thing just one too many times. When she died, I wept for days, assailing myself for my selfishness and poor shoddy care of a woman who thought I was perfect. It took me a long time to see how much I did do in between hiding behind doors. I did the best I could for who I was and what I knew.

You will do the same. In coping with fibro and RLS, other family issues, needing to work to take care of your family, in between your life you are allowed to stay under the covers sometimes to sleep, be calm and quiet, and maintain your sanity the best you can.

With love,
Ann

Rubyslipper
Posts: 992
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Post by Rubyslipper »

Dear Ann, thank you. Right now that's all I can say. Thank you.

Heronak
Posts: 113
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 3:45 pm
Location: Juneau, Alaska
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Post by Heronak »

Ruby,

I am so sorry for your struggles, and then depression on top of it all. I understand the feeling of not caring, of wanting to stay in bed and hide from it all, of thinking you should be feeling something and there just isn't any emotion there. It sucks, it really does.

You're doing the right thing though, seeing your doctor and getting anti-depressants, and reaching out to those you know will give you unconditional support. Asking for help is such a difficult thing to do, and you're bravely doing it! There is a courageous woman in there, underneath the pain and depression, try to remember how strong you are, and that with help, the depression will lift again.

Thinking of you and wishing you the return of joy,

Heron

Rubyslipper
Posts: 992
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Post by Rubyslipper »

Heron, your words of kindness along with Ann's mean so much to me. Today I feel stronger. Tomorrow who knows? I have tried to tell people who have never used this board what an inspiration and immense support system it is. If they could see these two letters from my friends, they would understand. Thank you.

jan3213
Posts: 1706
Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 8:46 pm
Location: Illinois

RUBY, MY DEAR FRIEND

Post by jan3213 »

It's Jan

I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. I feel badly because I should have been in touch with YOU! Ann is so right! For all of you who don't know, Ruby is practically the BACKBONE of this support site. She was he one who greeted Becat if I'm no mistaken, and you all know Becat. Ruby was one of the first people who greeted me. I will NEVER forget you, Ruby, when my world fell apart one summer day and you were one of the very first people to contact me!

I had the very huge honor of meeting Ruby in person last winter. We had a WONDERFUL few hours. Not nearly long enough for either of us. We vowed to spend many more hours together, but here it is July, and we haven't seen each other since. Life gets in the way, doesn't it Ruby?

Ruby, you have had so much on your plate, honey. As far as depression is concerned, it can grab you before you know it. But, let me tell you something. With what you are dealing with healthwise, who knows what comes first--the chicken or the egg.

Please know that you are loved more than you will ever know! Please reach out to us when you need us. I will be out of town for a week starting this weekend, but I will be baack a week from Saturday, so PLEASE, let me know if you need me and I WILL BE THERE!

Ruby, you are such a strong woman. Ann and Heron are absolutely correct! You have such good friends here. We are so lucky to know you. Don't ever think the fact that you are unable to spend as much time here as you used to will be held against you. This board is honored to have you here WHENEVER you are here. I know Becat would say the same if she were here. She is away for a while but will be back soon. I know she would send her love.

You know you have MY HEART! ALWAYS!

Jannie
No one is alone who had friends.

cornelia

Post by cornelia »

Ruby, I have been on this board a long time, but I don't think we have "talked" before.
Anyway, I just want to say I am thinking of you. Please try not to look into the future, but live by the day or even the hour. One day at a time is enough to handle for you right now. Do you have the right antidepressivum pill? I'm just wondering, because you still feel so depressed.
I wish the best for your mum and peace of mind for you from across the ocean.

Corrie

sardsy75
Posts: 862
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 8:56 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Post by sardsy75 »

My dearest Ruby

You were one of the first people I got to know on these boards, and we leaned on each other quite a bit during those early "fledgling" months. You ALWAYS know that we are here for you, day and night.

Depression is one of the darkest times in our lives to go through, but I know you are a fighter, even though crawling into the darkest hole, away from everything seems like a damn good idea. You will get through this time, and you know that we are all here for you in whatever way we can help.

I know you wish you could be here as much as you were in the old days ... I wish I could spend as much time as I used to in here as well, but unfortunately other things become priorities, and at the moment, your priority is yourself and your family. We understand that!!!

OK girl, you know my motto: Take it one step at a time, one day at a time and most importantly ... STAY POSITIVE!!! I know you feel like crap right now, and that's ok, you're allowed to have those days. But I also know that there is a wonderful, caring, smart woman who is a fighter and won't let this small part of her life get in her road. Remember, we only get one shot at this ride called life!

Take care of you girl!

(((((BIG HUGS))))) from Down Under
Nadia

My philosophy is simply this: Life is too short to be diplomatic. Your friends should not care what you do, or say; and for those who are not your friends ... their loss!!!

Rubyslipper
Posts: 992
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:53 am
Location: Missouri

Post by Rubyslipper »

Dearest friends, there just aren't any words to tell you how you have all touched my heart and lightened my load. My mother isn't handling this well at all but I really think things will turn around soon. I have friends who care and are there for me. That gives me strength. It WILL get better because life is good. I have a motto I try to live by (even though sometimes I forget it) LIVE UNTIL YOU DIE! Sometimes I forget just how much life has to offer. Then friends like you help me remember. I think the rest of the year will be slow going. Mom faces another surgery once the cancer is taken care of (and it will be) which is a major one and she is pretty frail now. You know, the computer is an inanimate object but there are times, like this, when I can honestly feel the caring coming through. Thank you my friends for your kind words and loving care. I hope to see many of you in Orlando to thank you in person. Love, Ruby

becat
Posts: 2842
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:41 pm

(((((((((((HUGs))))))))))

Post by becat »

Ruby, I'm sending out angels wings for your (((((((HUGS))))). I hope you know that your apart of this family even when your busy.
Your surely missed, but never forgotten or unloved by any of us.
I'm so sorry to hear about your MOM. My prayers are with you all for the best recovery.
My gosh girl, you've had so much come at you this year. I would want to go to bed too.
I have been there this year and a couple before. I credit you and the love of the others on this board that helped to turn me around.
I know what it's like to have so much going on that your never able to work though one thing before another slams into you. Add to that your medical history the last couple of years.........well, it just adds up to no good.
It's one thing to not feel well, have a couple of bad days.......than another to be overloaded and really not up to any of it. I think it's ok for you to crawl in bed when you can and rest your body and mind. I'm also with the others and will tell you that you do know yourself well. If you think it's outta hand, yes you go to the doc.. There is nothing wrong with resetting the chemical clock in our body. If you have to make yourself come talk to us.
Vent it out here, we'll love ya just the same. You've done the same for so many others here. We'll row.

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