Anxious
Posted: Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:09 am
I am at home by myself and I was working on this project to create a hummingbird and print it off on a 3D printer. Now I quit doing it as I became anxious, frustrated, my body feels like it is scared and afraid and I feel like yelling and screaming. I don't understand why this is happening other than because of RLS and the Suboxone I take to make it better. I just feel so bad, it doesn't always make it better as this is a perfect example.
My job lasted for 2 1/2 months and then last Thursday they lost a big contract and a bunch of us were given one day notice. I was just getting used to working again but in a way I am glad I am not working. A few times the above happened to me at work, fortunately there was no one around to see me freaking out. I am sick of this. I don't think I should be taking Suboxone anymore, it has been about 6 years now but the problem is I have taken virtually everything else and everything else stopped working. Suboxone is $338 a month now. Seems like every month it goes up, probably because of all the people complaining about people being hooked on opioids. Without this I can imagine that my life would go down very quickly. I would get zero sleep. I saw a video of a guy who couldn't sleep and he died after about 2 years of zero sleep. He died moving about in a bed half out of his mind.
That really does scare me as I know the last time I got off 4 meds at once I barely slept for a month. It was a bad time to say the least. A living nightmare. I am thankful for every night that I am able to sleep. It hasn't helped that for the last few weeks my wife and I have been sick. They didn't think it was the flu, but now that we are almost back to normal we both think it probably was the flu and I probably also had pneumonia. A few times I got the cold shakes and they were so bad that I had to calm myself or the shaking itself may have hurt me. Hard to explain but it was like my neck, jaw, and other parts of my body were clinching up.
Last two days it has been nice out, in the 70's f. Very good as we have had the worse winter since we moved here in 1980. I am feeling a little better just talking about this. It is just really strange. Hope you all are doing well. Later.
My job lasted for 2 1/2 months and then last Thursday they lost a big contract and a bunch of us were given one day notice. I was just getting used to working again but in a way I am glad I am not working. A few times the above happened to me at work, fortunately there was no one around to see me freaking out. I am sick of this. I don't think I should be taking Suboxone anymore, it has been about 6 years now but the problem is I have taken virtually everything else and everything else stopped working. Suboxone is $338 a month now. Seems like every month it goes up, probably because of all the people complaining about people being hooked on opioids. Without this I can imagine that my life would go down very quickly. I would get zero sleep. I saw a video of a guy who couldn't sleep and he died after about 2 years of zero sleep. He died moving about in a bed half out of his mind.
That really does scare me as I know the last time I got off 4 meds at once I barely slept for a month. It was a bad time to say the least. A living nightmare. I am thankful for every night that I am able to sleep. It hasn't helped that for the last few weeks my wife and I have been sick. They didn't think it was the flu, but now that we are almost back to normal we both think it probably was the flu and I probably also had pneumonia. A few times I got the cold shakes and they were so bad that I had to calm myself or the shaking itself may have hurt me. Hard to explain but it was like my neck, jaw, and other parts of my body were clinching up.
Last two days it has been nice out, in the 70's f. Very good as we have had the worse winter since we moved here in 1980. I am feeling a little better just talking about this. It is just really strange. Hope you all are doing well. Later.