My lifelong challenges: is it excess glutamate?
Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2024 4:44 pm
Very happy to have found this forum and community. A quick background on me before I get to a narrative and some questions:
As a young child I also began having restless leg syndrome, though only learned of it as an actual condition a number of years ago. I would frequently pace the room at night unable to sleep. I often remember waking up with one or both of my arms completely numb and unable to move until I swung or shook them awake, though that stopped at some point in my 20s. More generally, sleep was definitely a challenge growing up. I recall going to bed late and waking up early, always looking over at the clock hoping that it was late enough that I could get out of bed without suffering that day. I was chronically sleep-deprived. I was a constant yawner my entire childhood.
In my late teens I began experiencing panic attacks in the classroom, specifically when asked to read aloud in class, anticipating being called on to answer a question, or worst of all, standing up and presenting. To this day, social panic is a huge issue for me. If I don't self-medicate with propranolol and Xanax, I am very likely to panic when speaking in workplace meetings, including 1-on-1 conversations, which in addition to a huge surge of adrenaline and uncontrollable fear, results in an inability to produce words. It's awful and crippling. My successful career has been reliant on very strategic use of Xanax, which I am extremely careful to never use on back-to-back days or more than 2 to 3 days in a week. In the past I've also had panic attacks on planes and driving on highways and bridges, though that has resolved.
Sleep is also a big challenge for me today. I have restless legs about 10 to 20% of nights. And about 1/3rd of nights will have some form of insomnia (typically in bad stretches of 2 or 3 days); either difficulty falling asleep or waking up in the early morning struggling to get back to sleep. If I wake up after 4AM it's almost impossible to get back to sleep. I'm left wired but tired the next day with my mood and brain processing shot.
I've tried countless forms of therapy, self-talk, breathing exercises, meditation, vagal nerve stimulation, supplements, medications for the panic and insomnia. I have found the only thing that addresses my panic is the Xanax. My research has led me to explore a glutamate excess as an underlying cause of my myriad of life experiences and ongoing challenges. This seems to track given the pattern I have noted for my experiencing restless leg and insomnia: they arise whenever I am particularly stressed from work or have consumed high free glutamate foods like parmesan cheese and tomato sauce. Tart cherry also causes restless leg for me for whatever reason.
Can anyone relate to my experience and share their insights? My main goal is to address my social anxiety and panic, though I would love to have better sleep as well. I am currently considering new medications (guanfacine, clonidine, or memantine), transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy, and ketamine therapy.
Thanks if you read all of this and thanks in advance for any responses.
- 45-year old male
- High performance, high achiever type
- Diagnosed (but not treating) ADHD a year or so ago
- Self-diagnosed autistic as well though yet to formally confirm
- Lifelong sufferer of migraines, restless leg, and panic disorder
- Poor sleeper in general with chronic insomnia in more recent years
As a young child I also began having restless leg syndrome, though only learned of it as an actual condition a number of years ago. I would frequently pace the room at night unable to sleep. I often remember waking up with one or both of my arms completely numb and unable to move until I swung or shook them awake, though that stopped at some point in my 20s. More generally, sleep was definitely a challenge growing up. I recall going to bed late and waking up early, always looking over at the clock hoping that it was late enough that I could get out of bed without suffering that day. I was chronically sleep-deprived. I was a constant yawner my entire childhood.
In my late teens I began experiencing panic attacks in the classroom, specifically when asked to read aloud in class, anticipating being called on to answer a question, or worst of all, standing up and presenting. To this day, social panic is a huge issue for me. If I don't self-medicate with propranolol and Xanax, I am very likely to panic when speaking in workplace meetings, including 1-on-1 conversations, which in addition to a huge surge of adrenaline and uncontrollable fear, results in an inability to produce words. It's awful and crippling. My successful career has been reliant on very strategic use of Xanax, which I am extremely careful to never use on back-to-back days or more than 2 to 3 days in a week. In the past I've also had panic attacks on planes and driving on highways and bridges, though that has resolved.
Sleep is also a big challenge for me today. I have restless legs about 10 to 20% of nights. And about 1/3rd of nights will have some form of insomnia (typically in bad stretches of 2 or 3 days); either difficulty falling asleep or waking up in the early morning struggling to get back to sleep. If I wake up after 4AM it's almost impossible to get back to sleep. I'm left wired but tired the next day with my mood and brain processing shot.
I've tried countless forms of therapy, self-talk, breathing exercises, meditation, vagal nerve stimulation, supplements, medications for the panic and insomnia. I have found the only thing that addresses my panic is the Xanax. My research has led me to explore a glutamate excess as an underlying cause of my myriad of life experiences and ongoing challenges. This seems to track given the pattern I have noted for my experiencing restless leg and insomnia: they arise whenever I am particularly stressed from work or have consumed high free glutamate foods like parmesan cheese and tomato sauce. Tart cherry also causes restless leg for me for whatever reason.
Can anyone relate to my experience and share their insights? My main goal is to address my social anxiety and panic, though I would love to have better sleep as well. I am currently considering new medications (guanfacine, clonidine, or memantine), transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy, and ketamine therapy.
Thanks if you read all of this and thanks in advance for any responses.