Restless Legs Syndrome (RLS) Discussion Board

hi sara,

this post is being written calmly and without attitude so you can "feel" my intent a little and to prevent reading between the lines as is so easy in these forums.

i would rather have sent this to you personally.
i do hear you saying you had given it thought but i will have to disagree with you about keeping this conversation public, your opinion is very personal and sensitive regarding one person. In that way i feel that it would have been better off not in a public forum that many people access. i used the term 'playground' as i have seen forums before used in this way and i feel this is not being sensitive or appropriate. not all stuff is approriate for public view.

Enabling others to make their own judgements sounds a little like a court hearing to me which this forum is definatly not, we are not here to make judgements on people. this should have been dealt with privatly, its your opinion only and doesnt have place here. Thats my personal feeling on the matter. i understand the point you have made about it.

The reasons why i feel this was inapropriate are as follows-

1. you involved other people in your comment. If someone else has an issue with someone it is their issue to bring up, not for you to use. this was a low blow!

2. I looked hard and could see nothing in Annes posts that would have justified such an attack. It seemed to come from nowhere and you are correct in the thought that it looked very much to me like you’d been storing ‘stuff’ up and waiting for any time where you could offload it to her.

3. It was done publicly, and i have already explained my concrns about this..

4. it seems to be without understanding or evidence- ie- you do not know Anne and forums do not enable you to make those sorts of judgments on people. You should know forums are just words and not “language” so it’s very easy to misunderstand, misrepresent what people say in them. what if you have made an incorrect judgement?
Therefore I felt it was out of order of you to make such a critical judgment, as you cannot make such severe judgments on someone’s character from reading posts in a forum!!

I am not taking sides at all, I know Anne as well as I know you within the confines of this forum! but I do feel strongly enough to write this to you as I feel your attack was unjustified.

i dont always like to play "nice" as its important to be transparent and open, but this needs to be twinned with tact and with minimum ' damage'.

i cant comment on your concern that peoples opinions are being discredited as i have seen no evidence of this. i do know that i have seen anne reply to many posts giving help and advice, as all of us here do.

thanks for posting a reply, i have heard what you have said and you have now read what i have to say.

i will now move on.

Trev--

I stand by what I said, and I'm honestly much more comfortable with you posting this publically than I would have been to be thus scolded privately.

Sara

scolded??

Deep Breath.........breathe..........whewwwwwwwwwww

This response is directed to Randy.

My adopted father functioned for years on an average of five hours sleep a night. My half sister his daughter has a similar physiology. He was and is extremely active, with a 5-3 desk job, then afternoons and evenings farming. In his late 60s he was diagnosed with Mysthenias Gravis. The affects of this disease required that he take naps during the day - intially that was extremely difficult for him. I agree that required hours is unique to the individual. His mind had ruled his body for so many years, he was having to pay attention to his body first. I also think for the first time in his life he understood the difference of others physically.

Myself I am beginning to understand that qulaity of sleep it is just as important - the proper amount. Medication has helped improve my sleep. Yet there are times like last night, when nothing helped.

At the sleep clinic to see the neuro, I read a phamplet on cardian rythms (please forgive me as today is an extremely bad day mentally and physically), they mentioned a course - treatment session where they adjusted a persons cardian cycle. There are so many options available, yet no cure or true understanding. Probably not within my life time.

It is all so individual, as we are unique, each of us. The availability of dna tests at local stores to help people understand their genetic tendancies and allow them to create individualized life style changes, seems to follow this thought.

I have been fortunate to have a job that is fairly flexible. It would be GRAND, if on days like today, where my previous nights sleep was not good, would allow me to come in after a few more hours of sleep in the morning, awaken on my own body's cycle, work those extra two hours at the end of the day but alas it does not. I truly empathize for those who are not so fortunate.

rowing the boat with the help of a robotic arm... Hazel

ksxroads wrote:
This response is directed to Randy.

My adopted father functioned for years on an average of five hours sleep a night....His mind had ruled his body for so many years, he was having to pay attention to his body first. I also think for the first time in his life he understood the difference of others physically.

Myself I am beginning to understand that qulaity of sleep it is just as important - the proper amount.

At the sleep clinic to see the neuro, I read a phamplet on cardian rythms (please forgive me as today is an extremely bad day mentally and physically)

It is all so individual, as we are unique, each of us. ... Hazel

Hi Hazel, I quoted a couple things...that I want to talk about.

Now...are you saying that maybe I have been letting my mind rule my body? Like I really DO need more sleep but my mind won't go along with it?

Also, I don't understand what Cardian rythms are. Is it something like Gregorian Chants? heh...just kidding. But I think Ann mentioned something like that in her post. Please explain.

Thanks Hazel...take care.

Randy

Anonymous wrote:ANN, if you're still reading this. . .
Sara

Sara, yes, I read all of it. I don't think I've had my say to this point, but won't belabor it as it does little except make me feel better.

My only response is that I wish you hadn't done this. No lecture, just my perspective and my feelings. You didn't need to do this. A simple, "Hey, Ann, sometimes I feel that you aren't listening or are ignoring what I say, and it feels disrespectful," would have sufficed. And, if you tried that and didn't feel it worked, you could have tired again, "Ann, I tried talking about this before. Maybe I wasn't direct enough or you didn't hear me, because this is still happening and I am really bothered by this." Instead, you posted in a manner that, to me, was aggessive, offensive, and hurtful. Maybe you didn't think you had other options. Maybe you didn't think I'd be hurt, or that I deserved more respect. Maybe you didn't think about me at all. Maybe you didn't know another way to do it. Whatever it was, again, I really wish you hadn't done it. It's caused me (and others, I would hazard) far more pain than was necessary.

I stand by my earlier statements. If anyone you or anyone else has issue with what I, or anyone else for that matter, posts, feel free to say so. Feel free to ignore posts, too. And, please, by all means post your opinion if it differs and you want to be heard. Just think about why you're doing it and what you want to accomplish. If that doesn't include hurting the other person, take care with how you word it.

Ann

Randy, Sorry I haven't gotten back sooner.

It must be the flu and whatever clouding the ole brain. I agree that some people function quite well on less hours of sleep. The recommended amounts of sleep are just an over all average. Some people require less, like my father and yourself, others require more.

As for my ramblings on Dad. It was just the observation over the years as his disease progressed, the frustration he felt ... mentally he would demand that his body continue to keep up the same grueling schedule. One day his body just quit... if you aren't familiar with Mythesias Gravis, it is a form of MS affecting the upper body muscles. He would have difficulty swallowing, using his arms, his eye muscles would not function so vision was a problem. As he began to implement naps, etc allowing the muscles time to rest, he has continued to farm and work his cattle.

The cardian rythums, wish I had brought one of the phamplets from the sleep center... has to do with the natural rythum cycles of the body. I'll pick one up when I go in January.

I agree, some people require less hours of sleep. All people require good quality sleep! Hazel

Okey Doke Hazel. I was unclear whether you were just talking about your Dad or if you were trying to use that to reply to me.

Hey, did I ever tell you that the best singer I've ever heard in my life, non proffessional, was a lady named Hazel? So every time I see your name I always think of her. Man could she belt out some tunes.

Randy, I'm with Hazel.

Seems to me that the "recommended" sleep amounts usually are covering the whole population... or quite a wide segment... and if you are averaging, as she mentioned, that means someone out there needs more, and someone needs less. That's part of the difference between circadian rhythms she was talking about.

Like you, I think I need less sleep than 8 hours. I think Ann mentioned earlier that 7 might be used now instead of the 8 we used to always seem to hear for adults. That seems more reasonable, especially for folks as they age, since the older we get, seems like the less a lot of us need to sleep (at least all at once.)

"Natural" sleep hours for me, when RLS, dogs, kids, etc., permit, seem to be something like 9 pm to 4 am or 10 to 5 am. But if I can get a good 5-6 hours a night every night, that seems to be "enough" for me to function pretty well. Less sleep that that, however, will catch up with me quickly, especially if I get less for a couple nights in a row, or am especially physically active.

Wishing you however many happy sleep hours you need!

Sara

Thanks Sara...same to you.

Randy, Did she sing the blues? I've been known to belt out a few RLS blues tunes late at night! hahahaha

Finally over my bit with insomnia... only lasted a couple days this time! yea
Hazey
Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. --W H Auden