Hi, This is Jan
I've been up all night. Not unusual for us RLS people, huh? But, I'm really bothered about a statement I made in a post yesterday and the implications it might have and I'd like to explain what might have made me say what I said. I've been very sensitive lately. I know some of you have posted the relationship between RLS and sensitivity, and perhaps there IS a link. I AM a sensitive person, too. I digress--sorry! Last week, my son, Michael, fell asleep at the wheel of his vehicle during rush hour traffic on the way to work and totalled his truck. Thank God, he wasn't hurt, nor did he hit anyone. But, he is suffering from severe depresion and severe sleep deprivation. I don't usually share these things with strangers, but, first of all, I'm asking for your prayers for him--PLEASE. I got a late night call from him last night and he's in desperate need. If any of you are parents, I'm sure you understand the pain my husband and I are going through. We're so afraid of what he might do. There's more to the story, but I won't go into to that. Let's just say, he has a long way to go and we can't fix this one by one by ourselves!! As a result, my RLS has been going rampant all week. I can hardly walk or sleep. I have absolutely LOVED this board and all the people on it. I'm usually a very caring person, HONESTLY, and I sincerely apologize if I hurt anyone or offended anyone. We've been having an ongoing problem with Michael for quite awhile. He's living with our twin daughters, who are wonderful. So is Michael--he just doesn't KNOW he is. I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry and I hope you all accept my apology. I'm honestly not crazy, unstable, or a troublemaker. I'm just a very worried mother who's having a hard time right now and I'm having trouble dealing with it. Thank you for listening.
Jan
RLS, DEPRESSION, AND LIFE--and an apology
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claradragon
- Posts: 93
- Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:15 am
- Location: kent,england UK
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Sorry
(((((hugs))))) to you jan
We are not strangers here, we are family....you have nothing to apologise for if anything you should get the apology!
Sorry to hear that life has taken a troublesome path for you
You and your family are in my thoughts and please don't hesitate to talk there is usually someone listening
We are not strangers here, we are family....you have nothing to apologise for if anything you should get the apology!
Sorry to hear that life has taken a troublesome path for you
You and your family are in my thoughts and please don't hesitate to talk there is usually someone listening
Jan,
I am so sorry you and your's are having such a difficult time right now. Thank God, your son wasn't hurt. It sounds like "life" is happening to so many right now. Kinda makes your head spin. So much pain all around. I have a Mikey too. Literally.
He's 17. At times, I've thought about starting a "Mommies of Mikeys" club because there just seems to be something about that name! My Mikey doesn't know what an awesome person he is either. He will though....someday. Our job is to just keep putting good things into them and reminding them of who they really are. You know what I mean? It's so hard to watch our kids go through the agonies of life. We'd take their pain, in a second, if we could.
You don't have anything to apologize for. You were/are hurting. You thought someone didn't like you...maybe it was me. Whoever you thought it was, there's no reason for YOU to apologize. It's ok to hurt and it's ok to voice that hurt. We're all grown-ups and regardless of our individual sensitivities, should be able to handle other people's moments of pain. That's what this place is for, right? So as far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to apologize for.
I bet you're exhausted. I am a praying person and will pray for you and your family. This too shall pass.
Rest.
I am so sorry you and your's are having such a difficult time right now. Thank God, your son wasn't hurt. It sounds like "life" is happening to so many right now. Kinda makes your head spin. So much pain all around. I have a Mikey too. Literally.
He's 17. At times, I've thought about starting a "Mommies of Mikeys" club because there just seems to be something about that name! My Mikey doesn't know what an awesome person he is either. He will though....someday. Our job is to just keep putting good things into them and reminding them of who they really are. You know what I mean? It's so hard to watch our kids go through the agonies of life. We'd take their pain, in a second, if we could.
You don't have anything to apologize for. You were/are hurting. You thought someone didn't like you...maybe it was me. Whoever you thought it was, there's no reason for YOU to apologize. It's ok to hurt and it's ok to voice that hurt. We're all grown-ups and regardless of our individual sensitivities, should be able to handle other people's moments of pain. That's what this place is for, right? So as far as I'm concerned, you have nothing to apologize for.
I bet you're exhausted. I am a praying person and will pray for you and your family. This too shall pass.
Rest.
Sole
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."
"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."
Mommies of Mikeys
Sole (I see why you picked that name--you truly have one)
Thank you so much!! Thank you so much for your reply. Clara, I didn't say enough to you, so please consider this reply to you, too. I appreciate both of you so much taking the time to reply to me in the WAY you did. Sole, I can see that you REALLY understand. We have something in common, don't we--sons named Michael. Did you know Michael means "Gift from God" and that's what my Michael is. He was 7 weeks premature and almost died (his lungs weren't developed and his right lung collapsed). He was in the hospital for 5 weeks and weighed only 3 lbs. 15 1/2 oz. 29 years ago!! He survived that by the grace of God and he'll survive this. But I do need your prayers and so does HE!!!
I am exhausted and the old RLS is going crazy!! And so is the depression--worry--anxiety. The whole shebang!! I appreciate the friends I've met here. I don't mind sharing personal things like this because I'm really frightened for my son and I really feel that I need to tell as many friends as I can so they can help me by praying (if they are praying people), or sending good thoughts at least to Michael. He needs you. I need you. And thank you for reading my post and receiving it in the way you did. Now you know the real me and I feel like I know the real you!! Let's continue in our fight against RLS!!!
Thank you all!
Jan
Thank you so much!! Thank you so much for your reply. Clara, I didn't say enough to you, so please consider this reply to you, too. I appreciate both of you so much taking the time to reply to me in the WAY you did. Sole, I can see that you REALLY understand. We have something in common, don't we--sons named Michael. Did you know Michael means "Gift from God" and that's what my Michael is. He was 7 weeks premature and almost died (his lungs weren't developed and his right lung collapsed). He was in the hospital for 5 weeks and weighed only 3 lbs. 15 1/2 oz. 29 years ago!! He survived that by the grace of God and he'll survive this. But I do need your prayers and so does HE!!!
I am exhausted and the old RLS is going crazy!! And so is the depression--worry--anxiety. The whole shebang!! I appreciate the friends I've met here. I don't mind sharing personal things like this because I'm really frightened for my son and I really feel that I need to tell as many friends as I can so they can help me by praying (if they are praying people), or sending good thoughts at least to Michael. He needs you. I need you. And thank you for reading my post and receiving it in the way you did. Now you know the real me and I feel like I know the real you!! Let's continue in our fight against RLS!!!
Thank you all!
Jan
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becattx
See what love does?
Can you see what the love does? I can, such a healing force in a family like ours. Jan you are loved here, needed here, and wanted here. That goes for our new Clara and our wonderful Sole too.
i can't tell you how brave you are to talk to us like this. It might just be me, but I have always had trust issues and sharing things has never been easy. Even with my own loved ones. You shame me for not trusting the love that the people here have to offer. I am guest+, geeezzzz that was not easy to type. And as you know I too am in your boat with you. We may not be rowing right now, but that's where our friends come in. Some days they row for us. Together making progress, moving forward through this thing called life. Our pain is understood and shared, it does not go unnoticed or unaccounted.
See Jan, you inspired me in the mist of your pain, you brought me strenght. I agree with the other post, family like us don't need to offer apologies like your. If we offend someone, we just have to work it out. Saying I'm sorry is never a bad thing and it's called for sometimes. But this is our harbor, out net to catch us when the world out there comes too close to handle. Our harbor is not just base on RLS, it's base on humans with hearts and trials. We are brought together for a reason. We don't have to just fight RLS, our collective fist is big enough to fight many things.
You have my heart and my friendship, as do many others here. We are all so different..........it's a good thing, together our differences make a beautiful picture of contrast and hope.
love ya
b
i can't tell you how brave you are to talk to us like this. It might just be me, but I have always had trust issues and sharing things has never been easy. Even with my own loved ones. You shame me for not trusting the love that the people here have to offer. I am guest+, geeezzzz that was not easy to type. And as you know I too am in your boat with you. We may not be rowing right now, but that's where our friends come in. Some days they row for us. Together making progress, moving forward through this thing called life. Our pain is understood and shared, it does not go unnoticed or unaccounted.
See Jan, you inspired me in the mist of your pain, you brought me strenght. I agree with the other post, family like us don't need to offer apologies like your. If we offend someone, we just have to work it out. Saying I'm sorry is never a bad thing and it's called for sometimes. But this is our harbor, out net to catch us when the world out there comes too close to handle. Our harbor is not just base on RLS, it's base on humans with hearts and trials. We are brought together for a reason. We don't have to just fight RLS, our collective fist is big enough to fight many things.
You have my heart and my friendship, as do many others here. We are all so different..........it's a good thing, together our differences make a beautiful picture of contrast and hope.
love ya
b
I'm typing through tears!!
Becat--- All of you
I'm literally typing through tears. I don't know what I expected, but I couldn't have received a more loving response than the ones I have gotten from the three of you. B, I don't know what to say. I've told you before, you have such a way with words! A day ago, I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world, and now I KNOW I have three--one from England, one from Oregon, and one from Texas!! Even though we're all far apart, I feel as if you are all here with me right now. You are right--We were brought together by RLS, but we're bound together by more than that, aren't we? I think from now on the masks are off. I can honestly say that I'm SO GLAD I met ALL OF YOU!!! I've learned a valuable lesson this week. Clara, I haven't gotten to know you very well, yet. Maybe we can work on that, if you want to. Again, thank you all for you prayers. B, I'm still praying for you and T!! I don't know how everything will work out, but God sees the big picture and He is in charge (thank goodness)!! Everything happens for a reason (I'm saying this to MYSELF as well as to you!).
To my new FRIENDS!!! And to B, I love you, too!!!
Jan
I'm literally typing through tears. I don't know what I expected, but I couldn't have received a more loving response than the ones I have gotten from the three of you. B, I don't know what to say. I've told you before, you have such a way with words! A day ago, I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world, and now I KNOW I have three--one from England, one from Oregon, and one from Texas!! Even though we're all far apart, I feel as if you are all here with me right now. You are right--We were brought together by RLS, but we're bound together by more than that, aren't we? I think from now on the masks are off. I can honestly say that I'm SO GLAD I met ALL OF YOU!!! I've learned a valuable lesson this week. Clara, I haven't gotten to know you very well, yet. Maybe we can work on that, if you want to. Again, thank you all for you prayers. B, I'm still praying for you and T!! I don't know how everything will work out, but God sees the big picture and He is in charge (thank goodness)!! Everything happens for a reason (I'm saying this to MYSELF as well as to you!).
To my new FRIENDS!!! And to B, I love you, too!!!
Jan
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claradragon
- Posts: 93
- Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:15 am
- Location: kent,england UK
- Contact:
Hi girls
I know i don't say much...I have a huge problem with expressing myself!
But my heart,thoughts and friendship go out to you and I do listen even if i can't write a reply.
With time and learning to let go little by little i'll get there
Meanwhile please know i'm sending positive thoughts to you all
Thanks for being here and making this place so special
I know i don't say much...I have a huge problem with expressing myself!
But my heart,thoughts and friendship go out to you and I do listen even if i can't write a reply.
With time and learning to let go little by little i'll get there
Meanwhile please know i'm sending positive thoughts to you all
Thanks for being here and making this place so special
Clare
This is Jan
I think you expressed yourself just right!! Everything is going to be great from now on!! We've got a good thing starting and we're going to fight together!! Thank all of YOU for being there for ME!! I'll never forget it!!
BTW, you expres yourself better than you think you do--straight from your heart!!
Have a great day!!
Jan
This is Jan
I think you expressed yourself just right!! Everything is going to be great from now on!! We've got a good thing starting and we're going to fight together!! Thank all of YOU for being there for ME!! I'll never forget it!!
BTW, you expres yourself better than you think you do--straight from your heart!!
Have a great day!!
Jan
love to you
Dear Jan
(((HUGS)))) Right back at ya, Thanks so much for the kind words you sent to me. You know the more I think back about my drinking and why the more I think about the pain I was in as a youngster. And how I just wanted to numb myself of it. For so VERY long I have beat myself upput myself down and just walked around feeling like a total loser. I think I have found some thing else that should carry some of the blame RLS. iTS starting to make some since to me. My older sister and I shared a bed when we were little and she hated me not only did I pee the bed but I kicked the crap out of her every night DAH!!!
Jan, I dont know what you think you said that might have hurt someone but I think you need to stop beating yourself up. The last thing you need right now is to be not taking care of you.And you know Im right.We like to take care of everyone else but when it comes to ourselfs its oh well. I can tell by your words what a wonderful spirit you are,the love for your family is grate, and powerful. When you share with me it takes me out of myself,and that takes me out of my own pain, and for that I thank you.
You say your son doesnt know what a great person he is and I know you have told him a million times, well maybe you should show him. Set him down and let him read this thread,some times the quite of words get through better than sound. The love in your words for him brought me to tears, Im a mother too, I know!!!! And the love given back to you both is real love the kind thats hard to find. I dont know Jan it was just a thought. I know I was saw somthing some one wrote about me and it changed my way of thinking about a lot of things.
My prayers are with you, and thank god only his truck is gone!!!
Lyndarae
(((HUGS)))) Right back at ya, Thanks so much for the kind words you sent to me. You know the more I think back about my drinking and why the more I think about the pain I was in as a youngster. And how I just wanted to numb myself of it. For so VERY long I have beat myself upput myself down and just walked around feeling like a total loser. I think I have found some thing else that should carry some of the blame RLS. iTS starting to make some since to me. My older sister and I shared a bed when we were little and she hated me not only did I pee the bed but I kicked the crap out of her every night DAH!!!
Jan, I dont know what you think you said that might have hurt someone but I think you need to stop beating yourself up. The last thing you need right now is to be not taking care of you.And you know Im right.We like to take care of everyone else but when it comes to ourselfs its oh well. I can tell by your words what a wonderful spirit you are,the love for your family is grate, and powerful. When you share with me it takes me out of myself,and that takes me out of my own pain, and for that I thank you.
You say your son doesnt know what a great person he is and I know you have told him a million times, well maybe you should show him. Set him down and let him read this thread,some times the quite of words get through better than sound. The love in your words for him brought me to tears, Im a mother too, I know!!!! And the love given back to you both is real love the kind thats hard to find. I dont know Jan it was just a thought. I know I was saw somthing some one wrote about me and it changed my way of thinking about a lot of things.
My prayers are with you, and thank god only his truck is gone!!!
Lyndarae
Thank you so much Lyandrae! You ALL have been so nice. Words cannot express what all this has meant to me! I'm glad whatever I said help you in some small way. But what you said to me help me more than you know! And, yes, than God only Michael's truck is gone!!! I know, with the grace of God, everything will be all right. WE all just need prayer, especially Michael! I can't believe the outpouring of love I've had this morning! God brought me to this place, not just because of RLS, He knew I needed you all!! Thank you so much!!!
Jan
Jan
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Guest
a good laugh
Hey Jan,
I thought a good laugh might be in order! I was checking out the threads and I went to NEW AT RLS. And found the thread RLS IS BULL Oh my god did ya all jump on that poor souls butt. I thought I would fall off my chair with laughter, remind me NEVER TO MESS WITH NIGHTWALKERS! Ya know laughter might just be our best medication, and its free YIPPPPIE
Lyndarae Check it out its a hoot!
I thought a good laugh might be in order! I was checking out the threads and I went to NEW AT RLS. And found the thread RLS IS BULL Oh my god did ya all jump on that poor souls butt. I thought I would fall off my chair with laughter, remind me NEVER TO MESS WITH NIGHTWALKERS! Ya know laughter might just be our best medication, and its free YIPPPPIE
Lyndarae Check it out its a hoot!
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claradragon
- Posts: 93
- Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 5:15 am
- Location: kent,england UK
- Contact:
rls is bull
I agree...i nearly wet myself when i read it 
RLS ISN'T BULL!!!!! AND DID THEY TELL HIM!!!!
Clara and Guest
I personally didn't get in on that but wasn't it great? That person was just asking for it! He/she obviously didn't realize what RLS is or he wouldn't have dared to have made those comments to a bunch of sleep deprived people whose legs drive them crazy, most of whom are cranky (duh!) and who have trouble getting most doctors to understand!!! He had it commin!!! Thanks!! I needed that!!!
Jan
I personally didn't get in on that but wasn't it great? That person was just asking for it! He/she obviously didn't realize what RLS is or he wouldn't have dared to have made those comments to a bunch of sleep deprived people whose legs drive them crazy, most of whom are cranky (duh!) and who have trouble getting most doctors to understand!!! He had it commin!!! Thanks!! I needed that!!!
Jan
To you all!
What a lovely bunch of people! Ready to help whenever there is a need. Being in pain we are all sensitive, more so from time to time. And we all feel some of the time (perhaps) that are out to get us.
Fortunately, we all live and learn and we are a nice bunch of people. We have been lucky that the nasty ones leave this forum quickly enough. In my memory there was another one who started to communicate alright but she had a fragile ego and reacted badly to a well meaning private mail. After that there was no reasoning or logic that could stop her. She is going to be a psychologist, that was the scary part. You can find it on Forum "new to RLS" Topic Neurontine posts by Miamoss
It may not be funny as the fanatic one but is certainly a classic case where attempts at communication fail. Especially in posts it is easy to read something into it which was never there to begin with. But here the aim was clear.
Yes, Jan, we thank you for your trust and spiritual forte to open up. True believers are never alone. Our prayers are with you and there is always a happier tomorrow! ( The next paragraph I am sending you in an e-mail.)
Thank you all for a lesson in goodwill, humility and caring!
Fortunately, we all live and learn and we are a nice bunch of people. We have been lucky that the nasty ones leave this forum quickly enough. In my memory there was another one who started to communicate alright but she had a fragile ego and reacted badly to a well meaning private mail. After that there was no reasoning or logic that could stop her. She is going to be a psychologist, that was the scary part. You can find it on Forum "new to RLS" Topic Neurontine posts by Miamoss
It may not be funny as the fanatic one but is certainly a classic case where attempts at communication fail. Especially in posts it is easy to read something into it which was never there to begin with. But here the aim was clear.
Yes, Jan, we thank you for your trust and spiritual forte to open up. True believers are never alone. Our prayers are with you and there is always a happier tomorrow! ( The next paragraph I am sending you in an e-mail.)
Thank you all for a lesson in goodwill, humility and caring!
Last edited by jumpyowl on Sat Aug 07, 2004 7:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jumpy Owl