To the Men Out There
To the Men Out There
Before I begin my rant ...what would you guess is the percentage of men compared to women at these annual RLS conferences? Or at your local support meetings? Or on this Board?
lol rant away! there are definately more woman on this board than men. and i would bet the same on the others too. this is just my guess. as far as percentages on this board i would say men are less than 5% of it. but then again i would have to check the member list to be precise. lol
dee
dee
I feel like a science project!!!
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
Well, I've been a guy for a long time and I know guys don't generally feel the need to communicate as much as women. But to those guys out there that have RLS but choose to stay frustrated instead of talking about it I have something to say:
Please get over it.
Some studies show that women MIGHT get RLS a small percentage greater then men but this is still a gender-neutral illness. Besides, some studies gather data from self reporting and my macho brothers out there are many times quite willing to take a questionairre and say, "Dude, there ain't nutin' wrong with me!" (The one exception is if a man has a cold, in which everyone within a 10 mile radius will hear all about it.)
So men, come out of the RLS "closet" and speak up. Talk to your partner, doctor, RLS support group, friends, and THIS BOARD.
There is no weakness in speaking out about an illness or asking for help. In fact, it's a strength.
(((((((((((((((Manly hug)))))))))))))))))))
Please get over it.
Some studies show that women MIGHT get RLS a small percentage greater then men but this is still a gender-neutral illness. Besides, some studies gather data from self reporting and my macho brothers out there are many times quite willing to take a questionairre and say, "Dude, there ain't nutin' wrong with me!" (The one exception is if a man has a cold, in which everyone within a 10 mile radius will hear all about it.)
So men, come out of the RLS "closet" and speak up. Talk to your partner, doctor, RLS support group, friends, and THIS BOARD.
There is no weakness in speaking out about an illness or asking for help. In fact, it's a strength.
(((((((((((((((Manly hug)))))))))))))))))))
amen to that hos, what is it with men and going to the doctor? i have to threaten my hubby to get him to go. he loves to complain how bad he feels but wont go to the dang doctor!!!!!!! i don't understand it! MEN GO TO THE DOCTOR WHEN YOU FEEL BAD, IT IS NOT BEING A WIMP! that is not the word i wanted to use but jan would censor me! 
and if you talk about it in public, i promise you, you won't die!!
lol love the manly hug too
i can picture it no actual body touching just some really hard slaps on the back! lol
dee
and if you talk about it in public, i promise you, you won't die!!
lol love the manly hug too
i can picture it no actual body touching just some really hard slaps on the back! lol
dee
I feel like a science project!!!
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945
Hey you'all
I agree wholehearedly! Dee, I'm with you on MOST men not wanting to go to the doctor. That's the way my hubb is, too---until it's almost too late!
Anyone who has RLS--male, female, young, old--you have to rant and rave or you'll go crazy!!!
Dee, you're being a good girl!
Hugs
Jan
I agree wholehearedly! Dee, I'm with you on MOST men not wanting to go to the doctor. That's the way my hubb is, too---until it's almost too late!
Anyone who has RLS--male, female, young, old--you have to rant and rave or you'll go crazy!!!
Dee, you're being a good girl!
Hugs
Jan
No one is alone who had friends.
to the men out there
I am thankful that my hubby does not rls, but that is true about them not going to the dr and hope for some of them it is not too late. I hate to be so blunt, but sometimes you have to be a little bit forward, or should I say blunt, to get the point across.
I know my hubby had a heart attack 20 yrs ago. He had to have a stint put in in 1999 as he had a 99% blockage and so far he is doing good. At that time his cardiologist was in Havasu, but he still had to go to Phoenix if there was any surgery involved as our hospital here does not have the capability to do it. His cardiologist is in Phoenix now (4 hr drive) and I have asked him to see a cardiologist here in Havasu as I understand he is very good. I just feel he needs to go just for a check up. One of these days I will get him to go. He can be very stubborn, but I can also be very persistant.
I know my hubby had a heart attack 20 yrs ago. He had to have a stint put in in 1999 as he had a 99% blockage and so far he is doing good. At that time his cardiologist was in Havasu, but he still had to go to Phoenix if there was any surgery involved as our hospital here does not have the capability to do it. His cardiologist is in Phoenix now (4 hr drive) and I have asked him to see a cardiologist here in Havasu as I understand he is very good. I just feel he needs to go just for a check up. One of these days I will get him to go. He can be very stubborn, but I can also be very persistant.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time
Taking one day at a time
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Walking After Midnight
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We're gaining on them Hos...but not close yet.
I have some insight into the matter, at least the matter of why more men don't post here.
Let's face it, most of us that represent the male gender don't spell, puntuate, capitalize or put together sentences very well. What's weird is, the few men who are members here DO do that stuff pretty well, but if you took a random plug out of the mass that is...us, we just don't. And it's not that we're stupid. I mean, I know men who can take anything apart without a manual and fix it, take motors out of cars and trucks, build complex housing and repair any plumbing or welding jobs you got...but SPELLING?...writing something down that's NOT about sports or hunting...putting together an intelligent or even (God forbid) sensitive thought?...WHY?
I think generally, most of us communicate pretty well don't you Hos? (as long as we don't have to write it out) It's just WHAT we are communicating ABOUT. As far as going to the Doctor, it's too intrusive, it's too personal for most men. I mean, my Dad is of the age where I think HE needs to have the Prostate checked. I don't. It'll be about 30 more years before I need something like that, I'm only 47.
I like the Thread though Hos. It's really something to think about.
I have some insight into the matter, at least the matter of why more men don't post here.
Let's face it, most of us that represent the male gender don't spell, puntuate, capitalize or put together sentences very well. What's weird is, the few men who are members here DO do that stuff pretty well, but if you took a random plug out of the mass that is...us, we just don't. And it's not that we're stupid. I mean, I know men who can take anything apart without a manual and fix it, take motors out of cars and trucks, build complex housing and repair any plumbing or welding jobs you got...but SPELLING?...writing something down that's NOT about sports or hunting...putting together an intelligent or even (God forbid) sensitive thought?...WHY?
I think generally, most of us communicate pretty well don't you Hos? (as long as we don't have to write it out) It's just WHAT we are communicating ABOUT. As far as going to the Doctor, it's too intrusive, it's too personal for most men. I mean, my Dad is of the age where I think HE needs to have the Prostate checked. I don't. It'll be about 30 more years before I need something like that, I'm only 47.
I like the Thread though Hos. It's really something to think about.
Last edited by Walking After Midnight on Sun Nov 19, 2006 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I agree about the grammar and the fear of self-expression. In general terms, to me the bottom line is a misunderstanding of what it really means to be independent. For men especially need to feel independent.
But the key to independence is education (to know how to fight back the RLS) and online/family/local group support (so RLS frustrations are not pent up making one withdrawn, or worse yet, lashing out at those they love.)
For instance, I'm as independent as they come, but I know I have so much to learn and so have much offer in helping others, and all that requires active communication to get this education and support. So to me, TRUE independence is not best achieved by being an island to oneself (which is usually due to pride), but by empowering oneself.
In regards to spelling, I use the Mozilla Foxfire browser, and it seems their last update shows when I misspell a word when writing a post and when I right click, it offers suggestions on how to correct it! Another score for Firefox vs. Internet Explorer!
But the key to independence is education (to know how to fight back the RLS) and online/family/local group support (so RLS frustrations are not pent up making one withdrawn, or worse yet, lashing out at those they love.)
For instance, I'm as independent as they come, but I know I have so much to learn and so have much offer in helping others, and all that requires active communication to get this education and support. So to me, TRUE independence is not best achieved by being an island to oneself (which is usually due to pride), but by empowering oneself.
In regards to spelling, I use the Mozilla Foxfire browser, and it seems their last update shows when I misspell a word when writing a post and when I right click, it offers suggestions on how to correct it! Another score for Firefox vs. Internet Explorer!
I've just gotta chime in here, guys. Okay, it's nice to have posts where people spell words correctly and posts are written clearly. BUT, IMHO, this is first and foremost a SUPPORT board and I, for one, want people to feel comfortable just coming here and spillng their guts, so to speak.
There are a lot of people out there who don't feel comfortable with a computer. Maybe some have never used one until the last few years, maybe their jobs didn't require them to type or they haven't had to think about grammar since school. But, they still need help.
I don't care how anyone writes their posts, as long as they don't use vulgar language and we can tell by reading what they say that they have a problem. I know you both feel the same way.
So, maybe that's why some people (men AND women) don't feel comfortable enough about their ability to use a computer to even think they can write a post to ask for advice or talk to any of us about RLS.
This is a good thread, Hos. The most important thing is that we all make people feel welcome, no matter what their level of computer expertise is, and I think both of you do great at that. I think all of our members do. So, if anyone reads this who feels like they just can't do as good a job as someone else when writing a post---please get over it. We just want to help you, make you feel welcome and "safe" here.
You guys are the greatest!
Jan
There are a lot of people out there who don't feel comfortable with a computer. Maybe some have never used one until the last few years, maybe their jobs didn't require them to type or they haven't had to think about grammar since school. But, they still need help.
I don't care how anyone writes their posts, as long as they don't use vulgar language and we can tell by reading what they say that they have a problem. I know you both feel the same way.
So, maybe that's why some people (men AND women) don't feel comfortable enough about their ability to use a computer to even think they can write a post to ask for advice or talk to any of us about RLS.
This is a good thread, Hos. The most important thing is that we all make people feel welcome, no matter what their level of computer expertise is, and I think both of you do great at that. I think all of our members do. So, if anyone reads this who feels like they just can't do as good a job as someone else when writing a post---please get over it. We just want to help you, make you feel welcome and "safe" here.
You guys are the greatest!
Jan
No one is alone who had friends.
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Walking After Midnight
- Posts: 649
- Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 5:23 am
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I had to go back and edit that last post of mine after reading Jan's comments. It was kind of insulting, and I really didn't mean for it to be that way originally.
Kinda what I wanted to say, but didn't say very well was that sometimes it's a lot of work to do this. I wasn't trying to say that we were just too intimidated because of lack of spelling...just that it's at that bottom of the list for us. All of this stuff is. If you notice most of my posts have nothing to do with RLS, just 'cause it's too taxing to try and think about it and say something that matters.
And I'm still not making sense.
But I agree with Jan. (whew) Who cares how you spell or put it together. I don't think any of us "rate" our friends on how they spell, or add or subtract or any of that stuff.
Wait...can I start all over?
Kinda what I wanted to say, but didn't say very well was that sometimes it's a lot of work to do this. I wasn't trying to say that we were just too intimidated because of lack of spelling...just that it's at that bottom of the list for us. All of this stuff is. If you notice most of my posts have nothing to do with RLS, just 'cause it's too taxing to try and think about it and say something that matters.
And I'm still not making sense.
But I agree with Jan. (whew) Who cares how you spell or put it together. I don't think any of us "rate" our friends on how they spell, or add or subtract or any of that stuff.
Wait...can I start all over?
Randy,
I didn't think your post was insulting at all!!! I always LOVE what you have to say. So, gosh darn it! I'm sure sorry if you took it that way.
I just wanted to say just what you said: We don't rate friends or anyone on how they spell. In fact, I got such a kick out of the other thread where we all spleled worng. LOL
I thought what you said was very interesting and really true.
I'm like Hos. I love the things you write and how you post--- You, too, Hos. It's like you both are just talking and that's the way I write, too. Sometimes, I "talk and write" too much, I know, but how do you shut me up??? My husband's been trying to figure that one out for a long time!
Hopefully, some men who come on here will see how we all are and feel comfortable if they want to say something. In the meantime, I'm sure glad we have the men we have here. I think we have a great group all around!
Randy, keep it up and don't worry about what you say, or anything. I probably should have edited MY post!
Hugs to you both
Jan
I didn't think your post was insulting at all!!! I always LOVE what you have to say. So, gosh darn it! I'm sure sorry if you took it that way.
I just wanted to say just what you said: We don't rate friends or anyone on how they spell. In fact, I got such a kick out of the other thread where we all spleled worng. LOL
I thought what you said was very interesting and really true.
I'm like Hos. I love the things you write and how you post--- You, too, Hos. It's like you both are just talking and that's the way I write, too. Sometimes, I "talk and write" too much, I know, but how do you shut me up??? My husband's been trying to figure that one out for a long time!
Hopefully, some men who come on here will see how we all are and feel comfortable if they want to say something. In the meantime, I'm sure glad we have the men we have here. I think we have a great group all around!
Randy, keep it up and don't worry about what you say, or anything. I probably should have edited MY post!
Hugs to you both
Jan
No one is alone who had friends.
to the men out there
Hi Jan, Hos and Randy. I enjoy reading everyone's post. I am sure that I misspell alot, but we are here for friendship, rant, if we want to, and just to be us. Love all of you. Have a good evening and will talk to you all of this week. I am anxious to see how the convention went.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time
Taking one day at a time
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sugbrendas
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LOVE your tude Hos! My dh is like that. It has to be a "manly" illness for him to get involved.
Plus he's not a good speller and i can't stand it when people correct others.I say hey man as long as you can make it out get over it!
I was at a local meeting about 3 weeks ago and there seemed to be equal parts women/men! About 30 or so.
Plus he's not a good speller and i can't stand it when people correct others.I say hey man as long as you can make it out get over it!
I was at a local meeting about 3 weeks ago and there seemed to be equal parts women/men! About 30 or so.
Finally able to sleep on average 9 hours a night!
Brenda
Brenda