Sleeping with your partner

For everything and anything else not covered in the other RLS sections.
pamhb
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Sleeping with your partner

Post by pamhb »

My spouse complains about my night movement and usually ends up sleeping somewhere else if I don't beat him to it. I'm thinking about getting a king-size bed, and am interested in the ones that aren't supposed to transfer movement to the other side of the bed. Anyone have experience with this or any recommendations? Or should we just resign ourselves to separate rooms?

Polar Bear
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Post by Polar Bear »

We bought a memory foam mattress about 8 months ago and it certainly helps. Mind you... you need an extra push, heave, to actually get off the mattress... I would certainly recommend it. Doesn't help the rls but it does make it easier to sleep with a partner. It is not a cure-all, and occasionally I have still gone to the spare room but not as much as possible.
Betty
http://www.willis-ekbom.org/about-rls-wed/publications
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

tazzer
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Post by tazzer »

king size is the way to go...i still manage to shock him with my popsicle toes!!! :shock:

dee :shock:
I feel like a science project!!!

“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945

becat
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Post by becat »

Hi Pam and welcome to the board.

Thankfully, my hubby takes he's 8th of the bed in the upper corner, LOL.

I agree that maybe the memory foam might be the best idea. There really is little movement transfer. But invest and get a good one. If that is not an option, get the best mattress topper (thickest) you can find, that helped us out a ton.

My dream, a King size bed and the room to ut it in. One day, One day!

Sorry for the need to find us, but glad to have you here.

Lynne

Aiken
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Post by Aiken »

Absolutely. We have a king size and love it.

A king size mattress alone will reduce the transmission of vibrations and rumbles and such, not to mention keeping your flailing legs further away from your partner.

Getting a mattress designed to isolate movement, like the ones with the individually-wrapped coils, helps a lot too.

Memory foam also helps, but it can be awfully warm if you're like me and sweat in a snowstorm. We got a pillowtop mattress as a compromise, but unfortunately the pad is slowly deforming where our weight lies and thus it's not only looking worse for wear, but also not working as well. You also can't flip a pillowtop, only rotate.

What's funny is that we got our bed+mattress *before* I got RLS. My wife actually had the problem at the time. It was something like RLS, but it wasn't RLS and it only lasted a year or so. I think it was something to do with slowly-shifting hormones as she got older. During the night, in our queen-size, she would routinely rake down the side of my leg with her toes, snoring all the while. It was either an impressive performance spurred on by passive aggression, or she had a sleep disorder. :) If I was awake, it was annoying, and if I was asleep, it would startle the snot out of me.

Boy, I'm glad she doesn't do that anymore. :)
Disclaimer: I often talk about what I do and what works for me, but these are specific to me and you should always consult a healthcare professional before trying these things yourself, lest you endanger your health or life.

Sojourner
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Post by Sojourner »

Thought there was something new out or at least first we saw of it. Think is was sort of a memory foam but was call "honeycomb" or something like that as it had lots of little hole in it. Same concept as memory foam I think.

M>
This post simply reflects opinion. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Some assembly required.

Aiken
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Post by Aiken »

Mark--

Do you mean the Intellibed? It's got cells with gel walls that crumple when enough force is applied and return to form when it's removed. It's an interesting idea, but I've never seen one in person.
Disclaimer: I often talk about what I do and what works for me, but these are specific to me and you should always consult a healthcare professional before trying these things yourself, lest you endanger your health or life.

pamhb
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Post by pamhb »

becat wrote:Hi Pam and welcome to the board.

Lynne


Thanks, Lynne -- but oddly enough, I'm from the original gang that was around in the early days of the Foundation. In those days, we received all our discussion by email (which would fill up my email box fairly quickly!) I remember late night chats when my legs were bothering me. I eventually dropped my email subscription because of the large amount of email. I've kept an eye on the website, and have been impressed at the growth of information and membership. And the discussion board is much easier to work in!

My RLS has changed substantially over the years -- it has gone from the creepy crawlies to limb movement and muscle spasms that extend up into my chest wall. Thank heavens for good meds and a good doctor!

SquirmingSusan
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Post by SquirmingSusan »

Well, I'm an air bed kind of gal, myself, but since my 16 year old son likes to dive onto my bed, with all 235 pounds, I had to give that up in favor of a mattress with pocket springs. DH and I have a king-sized, latex bed, and I totally hate it, so I don't sleep there. The pocket springs do a really good job of isolating movement, but without the heat of memory foam. Simmons makes some really great ones called the "Do Not Disturb" collection. We slept on one on vacation last summer and we all thought it was wonderful.

OTOH, those are pricey, and IKEA sells a comparable one for much, much less. And then again, if you like memory foam, Sam's club has a memory foam mattress now in the $500 range, and they also have nice, thick memory foam toppers.

I love telling this story about my son and his bed-diving habits. On vacation last summer in San Francisco, we stayed in the cheapest motel we could find that was still in a safe neighborhood. The beds were old, really old. And very bouncy. My son liked to dive on the bed and bounce. Once he went airborne and did a belly flop onto the floor. You had to have been there.

Then we stayed in a motel by the airport that had the Simmons mattresses. He dove onto those and just landed with a thud. No bounce. It was enough to convince me that they worked.

The kid is really into drama. He has a future in physical comedy. :roll:
Susan

tazzer
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Post by tazzer »

i love air mattresses too..the prob when hubby rolls over i get shot outta bed like a rubber ball.

those double thick inflatable that u see on tv are great...i could sleep on one every night....maybe i will get one put next to our reg bed lol

i don't think the hub would appreciate that though 8)
dee
I feel like a science project!!!

“The syndrome is so common that it should be known to every physician.”
Dr Karl Ekbom, 1945

SquirmingSusan
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Post by SquirmingSusan »

I think a lot of the Sleep Number type beds have 2 separate air chambers, so there is less of a tendency to bounce the spouse out of bed, LOL.
Susan

pamhb
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!

Post by pamhb »

I did some internet research, and it looks like the Simmons "Do not disturb" series is the name given to the hotel version of their Beautyrest series. I've always been curious as to whether the ads where they drop a bowling ball on the mattress -- is the bed really that good? Perhaps hubby and I can check into a hotel and find out!

It seems that the Simmons bed is the one used by the Westin hotels, and I love their beds -- I've just always slept there alone.

jan3213
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Post by jan3213 »

I have trouble sleeping at night due to my back surgery, as well as occasional RLS. I visited an old girlfriend in Colorado this past September. She has a Tempur-pedic memory foam mattress (king size) and insisted I sleep on it while visiting her. It was wonderful!! I would love to have one of those mattresses, but they cost around $2500 (at least the one she has does) and that's just out of our budget. So, no memory foam for me--at lest for a while. However, I can highly recommend them.

I know you can purchase toppers which are quite a bit cheaper, but I would like to get the mattress and do away with box springs, etc. Anyway, just wanted you to know that I've tried one and loved it!

Jan
No one is alone who had friends.

Polar Bear
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Post by Polar Bear »

I bought our memory foam mattress over the internet for £300/$600. I also bought a 3 inch topper for the spare bed at £110/$220. As hubby was away for a few days at delivery time I had it delivered to my work address and the delivery guy put in into my car for me, measured 6 feet x 1ft x 1ft. (Mattress) The topper package was smaller. No problem there. When I got home, jeez mattress, was it heavy? I had to get it down the driveway like I was tossing a caber or a totem pole. Slid it across the wooden floors, then came the staircase. Took about a half hour up the stairs but didn't want it to beat me. Got it into the bedroom, undid the vacuum packing, and it took on a life of its own. So I had two mattresses in the bedroom!!! Got the old one out of the room, down the stairs, and into the garage. Manhandled the memory foam onto the bedbase. I am middleaged, a bit overweight, and looked like I had been trailed thru a hedge. But I did it.

Didn't mean to get carried away there, the point is, mattress was not too expensive on the internet and is quite satisfactory. Don't know what extra I'd be getting for more money. :lol:
Betty
http://www.willis-ekbom.org/about-rls-wed/publications
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

jumpy
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Post by jumpy »

Not to promote anyone. But...try Overstock.com..I bought 4 in memory foam topper. Put it on top of the pillow top and now need a stool to get into bed. It sleeps well, but my hubby still moved to the extra bedroom. It seem I was still kicking him. And when I was going through a very bad bout of insomnia, I got used to sleeping with the tele on. This drove him nuts. So now we sleep in separate rooms and I can get up in the night without worrying about disturbing him. We are in our 60s and I guess stuck in our old ways. I can sympathize with getting the huge, heavy thing in the house and onto the bed. It was really funny. Also, separate bedrooms does not put an end to the romance....Pat

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