jus feelin sad today

For everything and anything else not covered in the other RLS sections.
dogeyed
Posts: 441
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:06 pm

jus feelin sad today

Post by dogeyed »

All,
Today I cried, first time in a while, I had to turn down some very nice invitations to a class reunion, because I am too sickly to go. As many of you know, I have the severe form of RLS, 24/7 and painful. I also have back pain from a car wreck, which by the way, a new doc on the staff of the health care group I go to, he says it might not be the RLS a physician and neuro diagnosed four years ago, rather might be my back. Sigh.

Also wanted to report that recently a newer medication I'm taking for my back has made it easier for me to do more things, and thus I am up and about more, and as a result my legs and feet are killing me. I did get an increase in the opiate I take, first dose change in all these years, helps some. But in case my fellow RLS people wonder how come their legs hurt more some days than others, I mention all this to demonstrate how activity plays a part.

I'm going to keep in mind what that doc said about my legs relating to my back, but it took the original doctors a year to convince me I had RLS. Still, who knows. The doc did say the treatment would be the same. But what is eating at me is, I've been waiting on my appeal for disability for FIVE MONTHS, which I do not understand, as the decline of my original application only took six weeks. Perhaps no news is good news?

It bothers me that I cannot drive across the state to visit friends, and heck, it bothers me to drive the mile to the grocery store, and yet Social Security is all bogged down on giving me help. Our lawn has grown up higher than I am becuz husband and I cannot do it anymore, so I've had to hire some people to hack away at our jungle, which is going to be costly, and being on a limited income, by my calculations I shall be penniless for three months at the end of the year.

I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself. I know I cannot do the stuff I used to do, I have had to turn down several parties for the reunion coming up, and yet I'll betcha my disability will be denied. That is why I am crying. I feel so sad. And with the landscape people coming, I've had to tromp all over the property, unlocking gates for them, and my body is so uncomfortable right now, I guess I've really just had it. And just yesterday I was telling someone to hang in, when I'm the one who's falling all over the place in self-pity.

I would say my back discomfort (I broke it in three places in a car wreck) is equal to my leg and feet discomfort. My upper back hurts, my lower back hurts in another way, my butt hurts in yet another way, my upper thighs are killing me, my legs are constantly throbbing, and my feet feel like I've been walking on glass, altho I'm not diabetic. I'm just wore slam out, I AM disabled, and I wanted to curse the evil one and not give in and lay down in face of all my obstacles. So, I come here to sing the same song we all sing, "I shall lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my strength."
GG
.......

ViewsAskew
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Post by ViewsAskew »

GG, I wish I had something strong and perfect to say. Your post brought tears to my eyes, both the extent of what you must manage, the trials that you find before you, and the grace with which you are trying to handle it. My thought are with you and will focus on a positive result for you so that you can finally move on from this fight to putting a life back together from the pieces.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

FidgetBoy
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:07 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by FidgetBoy »

GG- because I'm a guy, you just know that rather then send you comforting words like Ann-- I want to solve this for you. :wink:

Depending on your insurance, or lack thereof, is there a way for you to get to a pain clinic? Can a neighbor drive you? You sound like the perfect candidate for steroid injections, or a nerve block or some other fandango thing that blocks pain. Pain can cause horrendous depression which then worsens pain, etc. It's a horrible cycle that someone needs to break for you!

I'm not a social worker, but it may not be a bad idea to contact one? Would you be candidate for meals on wheels, or some other social service that might help you through this? Also--You may have to swallow your pride, but is there somewhere you can post a flyer asking for help to get your lawn done? I have an elderly neighbor 2 doors down from me that we as a block have agreed to take turns mowing his yard. I just do my yard then swing over and mow his...

You may have already done all of the above, so forgive me if I'm being pushy. I just hate to see people suffer...
Josh

waterloo2
Posts: 466
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:51 pm

Post by waterloo2 »

Hi GG

What can I say hope you get a it better soon.
Are you on pain killers.
Things are different over here in UK so I
hope you get better soon.

gill (UK)

lyndarae
Posts: 620
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:55 pm
Location: pocatello,Idaho

Post by lyndarae »

GG......I too am so sorry for all you are going through Josh had some very good ideas. I would like to know what has happened to the good ole U.S.A. where neighbors use to help each other and people could get the help they need.........It is becoming a scary place to live. I really like your attitude tho, you are a strong women and I know that can't be easy with all you are trying to deal with.

I just found out yesterday that my younger brother is homeless living in a truck in a ditch in Florida........ I know the place and it's not a safe place to be, alot of it is his own doing but he says he can't find work, and one thing about him he is a hard worker.

You and hubby stay strong and stay together and you will come to the other side soon. With your attitude I only see things working out for you with time, keep the chin up and GOD BLESS ~~~~~~~Lyndarae
You cant be brave if you have only had wonderful things happen to you

ctravel12
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Post by ctravel12 »

Oh GG I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please never apologize for crying, venting or whatever This is what we are here for.

You have alot on your plate now and do agree with Lyndarae that Josh had some terrific ideas.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing and know that you can count on us for support. I pray for all my rls family and know you are certainly one of them.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

SquirmingSusan
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Post by SquirmingSusan »

GG, I'm so sorry you're feeling so badly. I hope you can get some help getting this all figured out. I hope the social security disability comes through for you; you certainly seem like you have a valid claim. There is a gal on another forum that I visit who helps people with getting social security disability - her name is Carolyn Magura, and you can find her on the forum at http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com. She has MS and is on disability herself, after working for years as a human resource executive. She has a lot of good advice and people who work with her usually get approved. I just wanted to give you another source for help on that.

I agree with Josh that pain clinic might be able to help you. Maybe even something really newfangled like a pain pacemaker might be an option? I go to a pain clinic for my meds, and while there are certainly things that I hate about it, it's not a bad option. They do treat my pain.
Susan

stitch
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Post by stitch »

Hi GG,

GG I don't think we have met but I feel like I kinda know what you are going through. Josh is right, pain can cause depression and not getting sleep all rolled up together can make a person want to cry.

I hate to say this but it might be awhile before you get approved and I hope you have a lawyer. Pain from your back can cause rls and also pain in your legs and feet. I wonder if you have had a MRI recently? They can tell you so much about what is going on and why so much pain. I was wondering if they have ever thought of surgery on your back. I have had 3 back surgeries for fusions and 2 to fix something. I will be 72 on Sunday and had all these surgeries since 2002. I am so much better now but will never be 100% but thats ok, I am walking.

I saw my pain doctor today and I told him my hands around the little finger on both hands feel like they are asleep and it may be from my neck. So I have to have a nerve conduction test done on my arms and a MRI and then we will go from there.

My back problems are from age or what ever but it can happen any time. The back surgeries did make my rls worse for awhile but now I am fine with that.
Also, if you belong to a church would they maybe come and take care of your yard and also the meals on wheels. Great ideas.

This might be of some help to you to learn more about back problems
http://www.spineuniverse.com/displayart ... cle29.html

Good luck GG and I hope you feel better soon, Jeannie/stitch

dogeyed
Posts: 441
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:06 pm

Post by dogeyed »

Everyone,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Josh, I appreciate so much your idea about the pain clinic. I am most definitely going to put that on my list to visit very soon. And Susan, the networking option you gave me I shall keep handy, in case the appeal is denied. Waterloo, yes, I am on a lot of drugs, codeine, lyrica, benzos...

On another thread, Aiken really cracked me up about his "missing pill" situation, and Susan, in your post back to him about the wind, I had a similar problem with the weather, which I tell about here in a minute. It is amazing just how similar we all are.

I finally got a man who is going to take care of the yard, but he has not given me an estimate yet. He'll probably want my first born child. I like him and he has a big company and I know he will do a good job. We moved here from across town two years ago when we lost our home, and many of the moving boxes remain unpacked. The man's team is going to take away some of that junk, too.

This morning I have finally more or less pulled myself back together. Yesterday I had a very tough day, so many things happened that I immediately crossed off about a week on the calendar to just rest. It was a relief to wake up this morning knowing I didn't have anything to do. A friend of mine's muscular dystrophy has gotten worse, and I had to take care of sending him a letter to his new nursing home. And then the reunion people wanted me to do some work on a booklet being put together for the class, a poem I wrote for them is being featured in it, so I had to make some decisions concerning all that. My brain is fried, so it took everything out of me to deal with that.

Then I talked to my mother on the phone, and then I had to call the dentist and found out they couldn't fix my chipped tooth until July. A couple other things came up, and of course I can't remember what in the world they were, but after lunch my husband (senior citizen) decided to go buy some plants, and he looked pretty bad when he went out the door. Shortly after he left, we had a hail storm and lightning, and I was terrified something might happen to him. He came back rather later, absolutely exhausted, but I couldn't get settled for the rest of the evening, just felt so overwhelmed by the day. So, as I said, I was glad to get up this morning with nothing to do.

As all of us know, our days are filled with these sorts of obstacles, which at one time we didn't think twice about, and now they are like mountains to climb. I've learned to just do two "obligations" in a week, two weeks in a row and no more, and then I give myself a month in between to get over them. But the last few weeks have gotten away from me, stuff just happens that you don't plan for, and when I get too much "incoming," I freak out.

Again, thank you all for your support. This is the one place I can come to where people know exactly what this RLS and general suffering is all about, and thanks so much again for all the responses to my post. You know, RLS isn't just a spaz muscle in the leg; it's a whole life that gets retarded. Smile.
GG

ctravel12
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Post by ctravel12 »

Hi GG I am glad that you received some good feedback and know that we are here for you at anytime. This is what is so wonderful about this group. They are very supportive all of the time. They have helped me through some tough times too.

We have all walked in your shoes and know what you are going through.

Please do keep us posted on how you are doing. We really do care.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

ViewsAskew
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Post by ViewsAskew »

GG, you are so right about the obstacles becoming mountains. That's exactly what they feel like.

Glad today is just for rest. May it be quiet and peaceful.
Ann - Take what you need, leave the rest

Managing Your RLS

Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.

kittykat
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 4:21 am
Location: Oklahoma

Know How You Feel !!

Post by kittykat »

Hi GG,
I know just how you feel. I'm probably a lot older than you. I'm 62 and disabled. I have osteoarithitis and hurt everywhere. I can't hardly walk. I had 2 back surgeries in 1998 and the 1st time I was turned down for SS but I put in again and got it. I stay so depressed all the time. I see others going out shopping and just running around and I can't hardly walk from room to room. I need a provider really bad to help me in my house and they turned me down. My husband owns a small tree Nursery with our son-in-law and they said we had too much. It looks good on paper but we live in a trailer and My bedroom floor is falling thru cause I can't afford to get it fixed. I don't sleep but maybe 2 hrs a night cause my feet jerk and shake. I take Requip and it helps sometime but I don't think anything will help much as long as I have the homelife I have. My husband is so hateful to me and expects me to take care of him and the house and grips about everything I do.We've been married 45 years and he thinks I've brought every thing on myself because I'm overweight. He makes me feel so worthless and the stress I think works against the meds, My life is so misrable and I feel so alone . I have good kids and grand kids and they help when they can but their so busy. I'm sorry I took over your page. I just wanted you to know your not alone. I know how you feel. Hang In
Kitty :cry:

Polar Bear
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Post by Polar Bear »

Kitty, my heart goes out to you.

(( hugs ))
Betty
https://www.mayoclinicproceedings.org/a ... 0/fulltext
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation

ctravel12
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Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:02 am
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Post by ctravel12 »

Hi Kitty I am so sorry to hear what is going on with you. Kitty, please do not think that you are worthless because you are not. You are a child of God and I just know he will take care of you.

I know that is not comforting to you at this moment. I know that you said that your children and grandchildren are busy but is there anyway they can come over, if for once a month, and help you with some of the chores.

Is there a rls support group where you live that you could take your husband and he could see exactly what you are going through?

Do you mind if I keep you in my prayers and ask God to guide you through this rough time that you are having.

Pleased keep me posted as I am worried about you especially with you being depressed. Have you talked to your dr about all of this. I know that some anti-depressants can worsen the rls but maybe there is something out there that you can take.

Please do not apologize for taking over the post as I know GG will post to you and am sure other members will do too.
Charlene
Taking one day at a time

stitch
Posts: 168
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Post by stitch »

Hi Kitty,

I feel so bad for you and kinda know what you are going through. I was once married to a man like that and they just think you should do everything and if you can't it's your fault. That person is now my X and I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 20 years now. He is very good to me and understand about my probems. He doesn't have rls but feels bad for me .

I have had 3 back surgeries for fusions and 2 to fix things since 2002 and he has been at my side through it all. I am 72 now and I know what you mean about watching people going shopping and I use to be able to but can't anymore.

But I am not giving up. Last month we went to Florida and I got to do the electric slide and I was so happy, paid the next day but I did it. I think what you need is a support group where you can talk to people with some of the same problems.

If you can find a group on line that will help along with this rls group. Being depressed is no fun and I fight it ever day but I am a fighter. I know at 62 and after 45 years of marriage you will not go on your own. But don't let him tell you that you are worthless, because no one is worthless. I was told that and many more things by my X and I believed him. So I knida know what kind of depression you are going through.

Please pray and try to find a group that can help you and talk with you. Because if you stay where you are now and not do anything you will just get more depressed and I do know that is not good. So if you can't change things, there are some things that you can and that is yourself and how you feel about yourself. I know one is to write or type on the computer about your anger and your depression and it will help to get things off your mind and maybe get out of your depression. I did that once and it did wonders for how I felt

So please Kitty if you just work on yourself and work from within and try to get with people that you can talk to and pray you can help yourself. Because this is about you and only you.

I didn't mean to go on and on but I feel very strongely about this subject and I hate to hear about someone so depressed.

Kitty take care and you will be in my prayers, Jeannie/stitch

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