Sleep affects work

[ViewsAskew]

OK, I'll see if I can condense this. But. . .I'm supremely pissed off at the moment. I'll also see if I can contain my potty mouth . I have a feeling it's going to be long.

I got a subcontract doing some facilitated training for a large company. I met the clienti n a meeting in early December. I'd had a bad night sleeping (was still not sleeping well and hadn't been for several months). I got an email when I woke up suggesting I meet them at the last minute (another meeting I was supposed to have was cancelled). So I threw on some clothes and drove there madly to be in time for a lunch meeting. As usual for me, I sat quietly just trying to listen and get a grasp on the project and the people involved. I didn't have much background on it yet, so I couldn't contribute much.

This week I found out that they may not want to use me (after I went through the Train the Trainer) because a woman in the meeting (a higher-up type) said I looked TIRED, was not engaged (how do you talk about something when it's the first time you've heard about it) and didn't seem very caring!!!!!

I'm furious on two grounds - first, the RLS. Not only does it make me feel crappy, but now it's affecting whether or not I get work! I'm self-employed. I can't even get unemployment.

Secondly, how dare someone assess whether or not I would be a good trainer based on my appearance in ONE 45 minute meeting where I didn't even know anything about the topic and was there to learn?

I have already started to do things to try to rectify her opinion and it will hopefully work. I'm doing the best I can to improve the sleep, so hopefully this situation won't come up again. But, what about all of those for whom meds don't work and they are perpetually tired or can't hold a job? What if it doesn't work? What happens when the meds don't work, as happens for some people or when docs won't give us the meds that will work?

I know we're all doing the best we can in our lives, but if you can, I'm putting in my plea for those of you who haven't to write a quality of life statement. Let's make someone hear us. We MUST continue to make this a priority.

Ann

[becat]

Well Ann,
I've been right there where you are. Yes, it sucks when people think that they know all about you based on how you look. I thought a good make-up would cover the fact that sleep deprivation and my rotting body had become a way of life.
That's way I got so mad last year. It felt like no one was trying to help me with this need for rest. With appts. being given in 3-4 months intervals, I had no real hope that good treatment was out there.
I had concerns that my home business was making things worse because the nights I was awake I'd work. I am grateful that I had part time jobs while I could work outside my home. As my RLS got worse I can't imagen how I could have done it working full time. I wonder how many of these lovely people do it. It's mind boggling how many of us just slowly melt away, becoming a moving working shell. I heard it a million times, "just go to bed!" arrrrrggggg Please if this was that simple, I would have figured that out. Seems easier to give in somedays. I know you won't. We won't let you, we need you around here.
It's not fair to educate yourself and have an idea about a treatment, only to have the medical community treat this half way. Unfortunately, most of us know the difference. That's what spurred my anger last year. Doc wanted me to educate myself about this disorder and then was offended when I had an opinion.
I agree, The Quality of Life statements have to give us a voice about the problems we face. Seems all to easy to look the other way or be happy with the small steps we've taken. Not enough for me. Yeah I have a good treatment right now. BUT what if it stops working? I'll be back to square one and then what.
I'm with you Ann. I'm so sorry this has happened. Doesn't seem right that we suffer. Seems less right than trying to find a solution for all of us.
Hugs to ya hun.

[ViewsAskew]

I'm so glad you are in a better place this year. It's great when we can look back and breathe more easily about our lives.

AH, Becat, this gets even more amusing. A SECOND person complained about me; this was a meeting that was held last week. So, the person who has this contract with the company asked one of the other trainers who was also at the meeting what her opinion was. The trainer indicated that she didn't see anything that I could have done wrong that would have annoyed this other person.

Now, here's the best part. For those of you who met me, you know that I am "well-endowed" as the saying goes. Well, this trainer said that maybe I should wear clothes that minimize my bustline... I've been laughing all day. I still haven't figured out how that would make me look less tired, but my best friend suggested that maybe having to carry around all that extra weight is taxing and that should be an excuse for looking tired .

[becat]

Ok I fell right out of my chair...........Laughing. LOL
Well BABE I can honestly say, that is not the first thing people notice about her. She has has a killer smile and very beautiful eyes.
Now you've got something to fight with........what a twit.
thank you for the kind words. Yes, it's like becoming a new me. But when do I get to look back and breathe? I've got teenagers....
But back to you.
Ok, well .....I know your doing what you can till help arrives. It's just so darn tough to wait it out....Heck, make it happen. Ann, you know I've been there. And You know I had to learn that I could fight for myself. It's all a matter of the pieces falling into place. For all of us. I know how badly you need the rest. Healing and peaceful. I wish I could make it happen for everyone of us. People really don't get this. That's the fact. When it's bad and we have hope, we stay stronger. But when it feels like it's gone on far too long.......and keeps going, well.
There are a few people I've met here that fight. Your one. And even with this challenge, both work and RLS.....you'll fight. Even sleepless you could run mental miles around many. Here's a challenge for you. If I asked you to describe this disorder, could you do so in film. Still photos, black and white? Think about that and let me know.
Hugs, You.