help please

[ViewsAskew]

Too funny...there were four posts of it when I got here! they were multiplying! I deleted them if anyone is looking for them, lol.

[ViewsAskew]

OK, now I've read the post and am so glad that your doc is totally turning out to be even more awesome than before! That is great that he's reading up on RLS. If each doc would do that, we'd be home free in no time.

I am also glad that the Valium is working. You truly are under a LOT of stress. It might also help to practice some of the more holistic stress-busters - deep breathing, relaxation, meditation - the hard part is to do it without making the RLS go nuts. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. Maybe it's best when I've recently taken my meds....not sure. But, definitely worth a try.

Or a fish tank. I was shocked to read that they are actually proven to lower blood pressure

Enjoy the holiday - are you going anywhere or staying home?

[Polar Bear]

Thanks Ann,
Yes we are going away, going to Belgium on Sunday morning, flying into Brussels, train to Ypres, Flanders and spend a few days around the war graves, then back to Brussels for 5 days, and do the city sights etc. I worked in Brussels in the 70s so it will be interesting to see the changes.

We are flying out of Dublin and the radar is being problematic so there have been two days of delays and cancellations, lets hope it is sorted by the weekend.

In the meantime, hubby is all for me dropping to a 4 day week, reckons its about time I sat on my a*s for a while, he was very supportive.

[ViewsAskew]

Sounds lovely. I wish I was going with. Enjoy it...and that 4 day workweek.

[sardsy75]

Way to go on your doc appointment!

The good ones who dont mind being educated about a new thing are SO hard to find! Hang on to this one! All fingers and toes are crossed that the xrays and other tests go ok.

One question: How come you couldn't get Zyban? I'm sure I read that you're trying to quit smoking ... loophole maybe???

Your upcoming time away ... literally ... from your usual surroundings will do you the world of good. Just make yourself a promise: DO NOT THINK ABOUT WORK!!! You're on holidays. I'm insanely jealous that you live a simple hop, skip and a jump away from the doorway to Europe If we had enough money right now i'd pack Troy and the kids up and take them to the U.S. with the exchange rate being AUD$0.96 to US$1.00. When I went over back in 2002 it was something appalling like AUD$0.56 to US$1.00 and any Poms who came down under at that time couldn't help themselves "Three dollars to the pound!" they'd chant in the pubs lol

Since you've been offered that second week off ... take it ... Golly gosh it sounds like you need it. Do Not Go Back To Work unless you are sure that you are well enough to do so.

The more time you can take to allow yourself to come out of this almost constant panic/anxiety attack, the better. Sometimes when we're good at our jobs, our bosses forget that we're only human and eventually it's our own bodies who scream "STOP!!!!!" and you might find yourself in hospital (unfortunately speaking from experience there ). They'll be alright without you for a week; if not, that's their problem; and definitely look into the four days.

Have some You Time. Get lots of rest, do some gardening, go to the movies, buy a fishtank. Ann is right about the meditation; it does take a lot of concentration when you're all tense and your RLS isn't doing what it's told. Yoga could be another option too.

I sincerely hope you have a wonderful trip and enjoy the time with your hubby.

Love n hugs from afar

[Polar Bear]

thank you so much Sardsy, you have all been so supportive. It is not that any particular part of my life/work is particularly stressful. it is just that there seems to be so much on the go/so much to do, and not enough time.

The valium seemed to 'relax' the choking feeling, but the feeling came back as the drug wore off. Yes, now it is just the wait for the xray result which will take prob up to 3 weeks, and then the scope.

I am certainly heading for the 4 day week, they still have to agree to it, big boss is on hols, but 2nd boss said it was a possible consideration to be discussed on big boss return. but I find it difficult to take 'sick time' (in my own head) partly because they are such good employers. and it is a small company of 10 employees. But I will have to be sensible. Have to just ignore the drop in salary etc. (Hubby says he'll give me a sub if I run out of money for a loaf of bread lol )

Chest/throat feels tight this morning but don't want to take the valium regularly. Hmm... Sardsy.... didn't make the move on the Zyban. !!

bye for now, getting ready for last day at work before we break up for the week.

[Polar Bear]

Hi everyone, I will be away for about 10 days.

I hope you all keep well

take care everyone

[Polar Bear]

Hi folks, here I am in Ypres Belgium, just doing a quick check of emails.

Last night we heard the Last Post played at the Menin Gate, and we have been to Tyn Cot cemetary where 12,000 soldiers are buried, and 35,000 names listed of those lost but not found.
At the Menin Gate there are another 54,000 names listed of those lost but not found.
A very humbling experience.

It is very sad to see a headstone which says 'known only to god'.

However, take care everyone, we head from Brussels tomorrow.

bye for now,

[ViewsAskew]

Just reading it brought tears to my eyes....it must be very powerful being there.

Hope the RLS is behaving and you are having a good rest.

[Polar Bear]

Hi susan, when you talk of ptsd anxiety you sound like you didn't know that was the cause of your anxiety. does that mean it is something that has to be worked through as well and taking meds.

Today I returned to the doc. I still have symptoms tho not as bad, but always there. Lump in throat, and Chest feels like underwear is too tight and aches to the left side behind the breat, so of course I am thinking heart/angina. ??? Chest xray is clear, doc did an ECG which is normal. He is arranging a treadmill test but doesn't think angina can be an issue cos I don't have any particualr symptoms on exertion, just a general tightness/pressure. Blood pressure is normal, and I am waiting to have a scope/osoephagus done.

In the meantime he would like me to take the diazepam 2mg. (He had previously given me 5mg but I wasn't really wanting to take them and didn't take them except when feeling really strong symptoms.) Doc has decided to get tests out of the way to rule out anything physical and would prefer to avoid the antidepressant at the moment, tho he thinks it is a better drug for anxiety, just not for me with rls, at present.

He says as my rls is sort of manageable just now, with meds and some tolerance, he doesn't want to do anything to rock that particular boat! and thus cause me more stress/anxiety.

So, its a waiting game at the moment. Waiting for appointments for the tests, scope and treadmill, take the low dose 2mg diaz, hope to rule out anything physical, and then 'we'll see'.

By that time I will also be on my 4 day week at work, and an exciting tho emotional event will be over, and we will see how things go.

Rambling again..... I am either writing a novel, or doing one liners..... no in between

Dear Susan, and all others who suffer from anxiety, I am sorry I never understood.

[ViewsAskew]

Betty, glad the doctor is doing thorough testing. I admit I was very surprised to read that those of us with RLS are something like 12 times more likely to have anxiety issues. Then I realized how many people do here...and it made sense to me why.

My DH has similar issues and has had the same tests you are having. At least ten times he's thought he was having a heart attack. You're right, it's hard to imagine what that must feel like until you have it yourself. You can empathize, but no sympathize, you know?

[SquirmingSusan]

Hi Betty. There is absolutely no need to apologize for not understanding anxiety until you got it yourself. You've never been anything less than one of the kindest people around here. I'm just sorry you have to suffer with it as well.

As for PTSD vs. regular anxiety, this is how I understand it. PTSD is based on past traumatic experience - so around our house we had year after year of bad things happening - first my daughter got sick with ulcerative colitis and was in and out of the hospital for 2 years, including an ambulance ride when she was deathly ill with a blockage. Then major surgery for her. Then my dh was diagnosed with leukemia out of the blue, and had to spend 4 months in and out of the hospital with a bad prognosis. Meanwhile, I had to keep the house going and get the kiddos to where they needed to be, all while the house rapidly fell apart. As soon as dh was in the hospital, the water heater broke, the shower drain overflowed, and the furnace kept making exploding noises. And the brakes went out on my car. And nowadays, my 89 year old mother, who has always been in perfect health and could put the average 60 year old to shame as far as what she gets done in a day, is ailing and has had to go to the ER a couple times in the last month.

So really my anxiety is because I've basically lost faith in the goodness of the universe. It's a spiritual issue for me. I just can't trust that things won't continue to go horribly wrong, and that myself or my family will remain healthy. I've just found life to be terrifying lately. At our cancer support group a month or two ago I mentioned that -I said that I don't think it's anxiety as much as it's sheer terror. They all knew what I was talking about.

My first bout with anxiety back when I was 21 years old or so was after a friend was murdered when I was on a study-abroad program in Germany.

Now none of these experiences makes me unique in any way. People deal with this kind of stuff all the time. I'm pretty sure that I just don't handle these kind of stresses well. I'm not good with emotional pain.

Whatever the source of the anxiety, it sucks, and it's probably good to have someone to talk with about it.

[Polar Bear]

Yes Susan, what life dishes out !!!!

I understand just what you mean when you talk about emotional pain. I can deal with just about anything, sort anything, but emotional pain is different altogether. And it doesn't matter whether it is real or perceived.

You have had an awful few years. And you are now minder for everyone. Best wishes

[HeatherB]

Polar Bear, how are you doing. Did the doctors suggestions work? I sure hope you are doing better.

[Polar Bear]

Hi Heather

I'm getting along.

doc said stress, I'm not just so sure, yeah there is an element of that in my 'mind set' anyway.

I wonder about acid reflux, i.e. the symptoms are similar, but without the heartburn. Then I realise I am taking Losec for this and it isn't really making any difference.

Soo..... back to the stress/anxiety angle again. Try not to take the diaz, but took 2mg, and it made not a whit of difference. Took 5mg and yes..... helped after an hour and lasted about 4 hours. But I can't keep taking the diaz esp. not at 5mg. Helps with the knots in the shoulders also.

Will have to wait for the treadmill test (for heart) and the scope which is the one I am really keen to get over with, I am concerned in case of something sinister. Our health system here in UK is different to USA and we go on a waiting list.

I think if all tests were done, then I could 'relax'a little more and concentrate on chilling out - without the niggling thoughts in the back of the head.

It's a waiting game at the moment for the tests, but generally speaking, life's cool, and I'm a lucky gal. Great hubby, kids (kids!!! range from 26 - 32) grandchild, and in 3 weeks will have all of them home at the same time for the first time in 3 years!! Son and wife coming from the US, other stepson in the forces making a point of getting home at the same time, the other 2 stepsons are local.

Hmm.... I'm prob a little uptight about that also.

Chillllllll...... I will, I will,, I will.....