I just found out from my dad that my (our) Doctor was killed the other night in a tractor accident...
I'm 9 or 10 days out from my refill !!!
I don't know wtf to do.. I'm sad, but now I'm becoming increasingly scared.. I can just see the string of denials trying to get my methadone filled no matter who I go to - especially if they see my chart and substance abuse history !!
I have to at least go to the clinic and try to speak with another doctor in the practice, but the only other one I've seen seemed to have a really bitchy / shrewed demeanor..
I don't know... first my dog and now this rffrsafdaserf3we65t3263262346
Yes, sad about your doc, but I totally understand your fears that your medication will continue as per usual.
If your records show that you have been prescribed methadone for the last year or so, will the other practice doctor not respect the decision and reasons to prescribe that was made by your present (deceased) doc.
I got a receptionist to deal with me for a bit, good thing they had just come off lunch and it wasn't busy..
I explained my concerns and fears and luckily she got both of the people I would potentially see, in the same room at once, and she says they looked over my chart and saw what medications I was getting, and they both claim it shouldn't be a problem, as long as I am following the plan that Dr. Schmidt had setup and everyone is on the same game plan...
So I hope they are true to their word.. I was scheduled for the 18th, but I pushed it back to the 14th, so I could buy myself some extra time to beg a doctor to see me, if they decide to BS me and go back on their word.. I hope its not the case... There is an MD in Lake Mills who has an agreement to see any former patients if both of them refuse to play nice - and if it comes to that hopefully he won't be a dick
This is so messed up... why my doctor? He couldn't have been 15 years older than me or something like that.. I'd always had fears about what happens when he retires, etc... But not this!!
He was a real human being, and the epitome of excellence as far as doctors go..
There is a vigil tonight at the Firestation but I don't think I will go.. I'm not big on that kind of stuff, or the praying shtick, but there is a viewing tomorrow at the station from 3 - 7, so I think I will at least go to that.
For as long as I can remember, my mom and I have had some version of this conversation:
"But, it's not fair!" [me, wailing]
"Honey, life isn't fair." [mom, being logical mom]
Life just sucks sometimes. I am so sorry for you, the town, his family. He sounds like he was a truly wonderful person.
I hope that you find a way to make this work; it's very scary to be in our position - month to month with the scripts. I admit to getting a script a day early here and there to squirrel away a few days worth of extra in case of something horrible happening.
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Zach, So sorry your physician lost his life. As I read the news article you posted, I can only imagine the huge loss to his family and the entire community.I hope and pray that the your transition in finding a new physician and getting your methadone goes smoothly. From one recovery person to another, we both know the 12 steps and the importance of a higher power(God). Have you gone to a meeting to get support for this loss? Called your sponsor? Prayer and meditation? This is where I go to get the love and support from other recovering people. Again, I'm sorry for your loss and will pray for you today.
Last edited by runkrun on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Well, I'm not a very religious person, and I don't belong to a support group or have a sponsor or anything.. So I'm kind of on my own with all that. Doing fairly well though..
I'm not sure the impact has really set in though.. Granted I wasn't very close to him, but I was very stoic after my grandmother passed away in my teens, and I didn't really heal from that until 6 years later.
Just kind of taking life one day at a time these days.
One day at a time is a good thing. Even in the best of times, one day at a time is a good thing. On tough days, I figure a few minutes at a time is as much as I can do.
Opinions presented by Discussion Board Moderators are personal in nature and do not, in any way, represent the opinion of the RLS Foundation, and are not medical advice.
Zach, You've mentioned to me in the past that your in recovery. Are you in recovery or a "dry drunk" Did you ever go to treatment? Meetings? 12 step programs have nothing to do with religion. Have you ever read the 12 steps? I have been clean and sober for 15 yrs. I live and breathe A.A. I do this so I don't relapse and live happy,joyous and free. I would'nt want you to miss out or short change yourself from this great fellowship. Do you know where a meeting is near you? I might of asked you some rough questions here, but people relapse over stuff like this. If you don't know when or where a meeting is near you, you can all the A.A. or N.A. hotline #.Just call information. I'm very concerned for you and really hope you consider my suggestions. Let me know how your doing.......honestly! Still praying for you!
Last edited by runkrun on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hey Zach,
Dang, I know how it is with the refill situation and running out of meds! Last year I went in to my doc to get refills, and a new doc took over from the other doc, and she had an issue about giving the codeine to me, and since I get confused easily, I blew up and left her office, started crying in the hallway of the clinic, and a nurse who knows me there helped me gather myself. So, I decided to get my two specialists to take over my meds from that general doc place, and that was the end of that. But I'll never forget how crazed and upset I got over being denied my meds for a few days there.
As a result, I looked into getting three months at a time, and was about to do it, but ran out of money to pay three times as much for the 3-mo and one refill deal, so have to put that off for now. But anyhow, that's one way around it, Zach, sort of, once you get resettled with a doc, to go on a three-month prescription. That way you got enough for at least three months, no worry about running out or missing an appointment, that kinda stuff, for at least that period of time.
I'm sure if those people at the doc office told you they'd handle the drug situation, they will. Try to remind yourself, you are not a criminal, or as Nixon said, "I am not a crook!" Ha! Yup, you need your medicine, plus like all the rest of us, you are a controlled addicted, and the docs all ought to know this about us people who take these kinds of meds. And even with your past stuff, you've proved you're doing okay now.
Oh, and I really liked your idea of having that other doc in the wings, if necessary. Always good to have a back-up plan. I might add that if everyone resists giving you your stuff, then keep in the back of your mind that if it comes down that way, you should indeed say, "Well, what WILL you prescribe to me for this condition? This category of drug is the only one that works for me," and naturally have a copy of a couple RLS info sheets on hand, to prove that this is the way this thing is treated. If that doesn't convince them, then explain to them that it's not right to throw a person into withdrawals, that they should at the very least give you enough to get off the drugs slowly, or you might wind up having a seizure.
The whole thing about restrictions on prescription drugs, supposedly to stop the very few who sell the stuff on the street, winds up scaring the hell out of all us regular people. Me, I'd like to write letters and get on the protest wagon, but I'm too old to fool with that stuff now. Anyhow, that's how screwed up I think this whole "drug war" thing is. If I could, I'd be talking to a Senate committee and say, "Just give us the dang drugs, for crying out loud!" Would make a nice CNN news clip.
Oh, and one more thing. This morning I woke up really early because I have an appointment at that clinic that I stormed out of, and do you know I'm so nervous about going back in there, even tho they don't prescribe any of my medicines anymore, that I might have to reschedule the visit because I'm in such a guilt-ridden paranoid state of mind today. Sigh. The trials and tribs of the sick. Imagine if you were 80 years old?!? Who would lobby for you? Scares the heck out of me becuz I'm almost 60, so I think about that kinda stuff now.
GG
"It's not how old you are; it's how awful you feel."
Actually, I have been getting 3 month scripts for a while now. But the problem is, this is my final script for a 3 months period, so I have to get back to get more regardless. Although my dad handles my meds I'm not sure I like the idea of getting a couple hundred pills at a time myself, and by law I can only get 3 separate ones, and then have to be physically present to receive more, so...
Run,
Yes I consider myself in recovery. Alcohol has never been a problem for me, and I can't drink because of my IBS these days anyway, so I don't have to worry about that at least. My problem was with opiates, Codeine, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, to a lesser extene Tramadol. None of them turned out to be easier to control than others, so I started convincing my doctor to put me on Methadone instead. Two birds with one stone. RLS is under control, and I stay pretty much "sober", outside of the intrinsic effects Methadone can produce. I was OK on Methadone for a while but I kept wanting to increase my dose - however I believe that was because of my mentality of trying to manage my comfort level in regards to my addiction. The reality is I'm not in an MMT program and that is not why I am being prescribed Methadone, so the solution was to give up control of my pill bottle and take agreed upon rations.
I thought about NA for a while, but I just don't see myself going. Something about getting together with people talking about popping pills and how they make you feel, leads me to believe it would undo any psychological progress I've made, because I'm just that kind of person who is very keen on nostalgic experiences.
I think I've got a good handle on things. I've just accepted the fact I will never retain full control of my medication supply anymore. Which is a good thing I think.
Zach, Very happy that you realized that you could not control your own meds and asked for help. That's a huge step. I did'nt now how far your addiction had progressed or extent of your drug seeking. Did anyone ever suggest you go to meetings or enter treatment? Alcohol was really never my thing,but when I drank it was always to get drunk.(made me very sick) Then after a back injury @ work, narcotics came into the picture. My story was very similar to yours, could not control my consumption. So l finally I hit bottom, asked for help, went to long term treatment, and the rest is history.That was over 15 yrs ago. I went to N.A. for a while, but I found that the type of people, and quality of sobriety I wanted was in A.A. I wanted to hang with the winners, not the losers. Your right, some of those meetings, they might sit around talking about pill popping. However, the meetings that follow the 12 steps,Big book, and are ran properly, are all about change and having a spiritual life, and much more. Every person there is a miracle. This program has helped me grow up, help rid myself of some character defects, give me great friends, learn coping skills, and find a God in my life. So I hope if you ever feel the need, this might help put your mind at ease. Remember, when you walk thru those doors, you will never be the same again. You'll have more friends and support than you know what to do with! God has a plan, and one of them was for us to connect in this forum.Still praying for you!
Last edited by runkrun on Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
Hey Zach.
I got a copy of the book by Hening, Buchfuhrer and Lee, written for doctors and called "Clinical Management of Restless Legs Syndrome". (https://www.pcibooks.com/categories/view/6) I saw a number of doctors before one finally diagnosed the RLS, but even he didn't know much about it - he thought he could just prescribe one of the Parkinson's drugs and I would walk away happy. When I didn't walk away happy, I learned all I could about RLS, and very very fearfully started educating this doctor. He was nice enough to give me his email, so I emailed him the Mayo protocol. Then I screwed up my courage and offered him the book. I was lucky, he was wonderful and he accepted it. Eventually he read the relevant parts and agreed to prescibe me codeine, after we'd tried all the non-opiods.
Then he left town. I am nowhere near in your situation, but I can guess.... I can guess... My doc is still writing scripts from a distance for a while, but that can't go on forever, and there is no one else in this whole area who has a clue. Not a clue.
So I've bought 3 more copies of the book. He was very impressed with it. I plan to hand them out to whatever doctors I end up seeing next. Hopefully one of them will take me on. I am very scared. I was just beginning to get a life back. I figure it's a small investment to make in my health and sanity. They're about 25 bucks each. Even if buddy I give it to doesn't read it, maybe some other doctor will. Maybe it'll help someone.
This is my idea for you, for you to get that book and offer it. And like dogeyed said, you ask "Well, what WILL you prescribe to me for this condition? This category of drug is the only one that works for me." You have to try as calmly as you can to educate them, realizing 1. you're not wrong and 2. they are not trying to hurt you, they just need to learn more. I hope it all goes well. For both of us.
I can't really afford to buy books to hand them out to people who might just throw them away or prop up a desk, etc.. But I understand where you are coming from.
In your case, I would write a quality of life letter. Stating what your life was before you met the doctor, and then after he read the materials you gave him, and started prescribing codeine.
Approach it from a quality of life angle. Instead of just "but these drugs worked so why can't I keep getting them?" etc.. they'll just think you're drug seeking, or try to write you off that way to just not deal with you.
So, try the quality of life stuff, I say. See if you can get your doctor to sign a faxed copy, and fax it back, as a sort of endorsement.
