Our active membership

Post by **Polar Bear** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 1:10 pm

Our member skn0142 made a comment today in her thread when she 'thanked the ladies' and it just brought home how few men we have who are actually posting.

Do ladies research more in general and try to find out more about their condition, or do the gents research as much but don't get as far as joining a forum to discuss it further.

Have the gents got a 'stiff upper lip' that prevents them joining a forum, would they see this as a 'girlie' thing to do. ??

Just wondered.

Wayne · Post by **Wayne** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:31 pm

I'm a "gent" and I researched it about as far as I could when I was first diagnosed, mostly seeing that there is no cure or even a successful treatment for a majority of patients, beyond the anecdotal posts here about methadone being the most effective (with a few detractors also). Found this forum which confirmed my independent research, but also has more insight on how the various medications can affect you as well as the side affects.

I still check in a couple times a week to see if anything new and interesting has turned up, but don't post as much anymore and have just adjusted to having RLS as best as possible.

dogeyed · Post by **dogeyed** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 10:29 am

I think it's a good idea to encourage men to post. I also think I know why so few do, perhaps. Women do a lot of talking because they are good communicators, they can tell quite the stories with the greatest of ease. However, men are better at other things, and while no sweeping generalization can be made about the abilities of men versus women, I do think the ease to express one's self falls on the side of the majority of women. There's a saying, which really doesn't apply here, but it goes, "To the Irish, conversation is like a dance."

I love men, which may be a trivial and used thing to say, but I like their quiet, sincere, and solid ways, their mental and physical strength is awesome to me. My husband is this type in spades, it's a wonder he can put up with all my talk, but I could not live without his "balance." And when I watch TV, and a couple is communicating with others, most of the time it is the woman who speaks up and explains things. There are, of course, many men who speak perfectly fine and often, with the woman holding off in the background.

I have been to some forums for mostly female topics, altho RLS is not, but sometimes they will have a section for men, and for this forum, a section might be created, "For Men With RLS," or something. I don't know if it would help, but I'm just giving my two cents.

Post by **badnights** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:41 am

Women are a lot more huggy and lovey with each other, even with people they don't know except through a fourm. That kind of interaction might make men feel they can't participate; maybe they feel they would have to be all gooey too, and knowing they can't, they don't post.

Not that all of us are gooey, but a lot of us don't hesitate to show our emotions.

Post by **Polar Bear** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:12 am

I feel that some men would think they'd look like a wimp, (nonsense) or feel embarrassed.

Post by **badnights** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:41 am

I admit that I was turned off a forum once by the conversation between posters getting too personal and off-topic

Post by **ViewsAskew** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:16 pm

Every forum has a certain feel to it, doesn't it?

I'm sure that some people prefer other RLS/WED forums to this one because they want something else from it that we do not provide. While I used to read several, over the years I've come to feel that this one is a perfect blend of caring, accuracy and knowledge without being too much of any of those.

Post by **Polar Bear** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 1:01 pm

On occasion I have briefly looked at other forums, but I get bored/fed up. I reckon we have something good that works.

Post by **Chipmunk** » Mon Oct 31, 2011 5:25 pm

I like that the people here know what they're talking about. There is so much misinformation in some forums.

Rubyslipper · Post by **Rubyslipper** » Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:31 pm

I was on a discussion board that slapped my wrist because I gave the website address for the RLS Foundation. NOT allowed to give out any information on other websites there so I don't go there anymore. There were some great people on there so it is a shame.

Post by **ViewsAskew** » Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:05 pm

Rubyslipper wrote:I was on a discussion board that slapped my wrist because I gave the website address for the RLS Foundation. NOT allowed to give out any information on other websites there so I don't go there anymore. There were some great people on there so it is a shame.

I was kicked out of such a forum! I posted it, they slapped me, and I posted it again.....I was then persona non grata, lol, and my sign in no longer worked.

Rubyslipper · Post by **Rubyslipper** » Mon Nov 07, 2011 7:36 pm

What's the point of a dicsussion board if you can't discuss! I don't understand not wanting to get info out to people. Maybe they just felt threatened! I even got my hands slapped for mentioning RLS Awareness Week!

Laurachrissy · Post by **Laurachrissy** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:10 am

Polar Bear wrote:On occasion I have briefly looked at other forums, but I get bored/fed up. I reckon we have something good that works.

I was lucky I found y'all. When I started going thru h311 back in the Spring I typed in RLS, y'all came up and I joined immediately. I didn't even see another site

Thank goodness too.

(I didn't know you couldn't post links to other sites. Is this site just nicer or are most sites just up-tight?)

Post by **ViewsAskew** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:32 am

IIRC, the site I was on didn't want spam links or links to products for sale. As such, they banned all links.

Here is the exact language:

"Whether or not you personally or financially benefit, usernames, posts, and/or info in your profile, signature, blogs, or posts that name, promote or advertise free or commercial services, websites, forums, blogs, clinical trials, surveys or products are considered to be advertising"

So, when I linked to RLS.org and WEMOVE.org, I was advertising them, not providing important information.

There is little science there, and a lot of fiction.

Post by **badnights** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:02 am

Yet another case where the intent is being obfuscated by the rule.

It happened to me too (the RLS forum on healthboards.com), so I just left. I thought the same thing - ridiculous.