I am SO sick of this!!!
I can't win. Ever.
I AM SICK with this freaking RLS/WED and anytime I get sick with a common bug it makes it so much worse and then my work and my wife don't understand. I took the day off yesterday because of some long term bug I have in my lower intestines and I went home today after 4 hours because;
1) I am sick
2) I got less than 2 hours sleep last night and paced the floor most of the night!
I just feel so bad. If it were one or the other then I could work but being both sick and with this lack of sleep I just can't do it. I cancelled my appointment for some kind on neurological test for today cause my left 2 fingers of left hand have been numb for going on 2 months. Then I had to cancel appointment for 3 days from now with regular doctor because he was going to go over the results of the test with me. There is no way I am driving 40 miles one way today to have that freaking test, I don't feel good, I'm tired, and it seems like those should be good enough reasons.
Thank God I had enough vacation and sick leave or it would be getting messy with my company. My wife was texting me and I finally texted her "over and out", I'm not putting up with her giving me a bad time because I'm sick! I just can't believe this BS. It is a miracle I am working at all but she just doesn't see it. No one around me realizes that I am living from day to day. I just purchased some size 3X shirts from eBay used because I am growing out of 2X. I should be wearing medium shirts. I can't even begin to deal with weight (which is caused by all the medications I take) because I am just trying to get a paycheck. For me life is trying to get through a full day of work, if I can do that I win.
Today I lost, again. I have no golden parachute, I have to work. I am so depressed I can't take it. The other day I found out my insurance company raised our rates by almost 100% because I dented a fender pulling into the hospital garage. I am such a idiot. I should have done like everyone else and left the scene instead I go find a security guy and have him write it up. $1100 damage and I paid $500 of it! So because the insurance company had to pay $600 extra they raise my rates like that! My wife found another company that actually lowered our rates from before the rate hike, but the point is just seeing that problem almost sent me over the top. I just can't deal with things like that, if I was well it wouldn't be a big deal (if I was well it wouldn't have happened) but now I can't cope with things like that that mess up the status quo.
My life is on autopilot and any little thing sets me off. This is my reality, I can't deal with life's problems hardly anymore, I'm just trying to get enough sleep to get to work. Venting over