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Venting!

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:35 pm
by EeFall
I am SO sick of this!!!

I can't win. Ever.

I AM SICK with this freaking RLS/WED and anytime I get sick with a common bug it makes it so much worse and then my work and my wife don't understand. I took the day off yesterday because of some long term bug I have in my lower intestines and I went home today after 4 hours because;

1) I am sick
2) I got less than 2 hours sleep last night and paced the floor most of the night!

I just feel so bad. If it were one or the other then I could work but being both sick and with this lack of sleep I just can't do it. I cancelled my appointment for some kind on neurological test for today cause my left 2 fingers of left hand have been numb for going on 2 months. Then I had to cancel appointment for 3 days from now with regular doctor because he was going to go over the results of the test with me. There is no way I am driving 40 miles one way today to have that freaking test, I don't feel good, I'm tired, and it seems like those should be good enough reasons.

Thank God I had enough vacation and sick leave or it would be getting messy with my company. My wife was texting me and I finally texted her "over and out", I'm not putting up with her giving me a bad time because I'm sick! I just can't believe this BS. It is a miracle I am working at all but she just doesn't see it. No one around me realizes that I am living from day to day. I just purchased some size 3X shirts from eBay used because I am growing out of 2X. I should be wearing medium shirts. I can't even begin to deal with weight (which is caused by all the medications I take) because I am just trying to get a paycheck. For me life is trying to get through a full day of work, if I can do that I win.

Today I lost, again. I have no golden parachute, I have to work. I am so depressed I can't take it. The other day I found out my insurance company raised our rates by almost 100% because I dented a fender pulling into the hospital garage. I am such a idiot. I should have done like everyone else and left the scene instead I go find a security guy and have him write it up. $1100 damage and I paid $500 of it! So because the insurance company had to pay $600 extra they raise my rates like that! My wife found another company that actually lowered our rates from before the rate hike, but the point is just seeing that problem almost sent me over the top. I just can't deal with things like that, if I was well it wouldn't be a big deal (if I was well it wouldn't have happened) but now I can't cope with things like that that mess up the status quo.

My life is on autopilot and any little thing sets me off. This is my reality, I can't deal with life's problems hardly anymore, I'm just trying to get enough sleep to get to work. Venting over :(

Re: Venting!

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 6:03 pm
by EeFall
I'm listening to George Thorogood One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.

I so wish I could drink :lol:

Re: Venting!

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:15 pm
by debbluebird
Wish there was something I could say to help you feel better. My motto in times like this, life sucks and then you die. I know that sounds depressing, but sometimes that's how a person feels. Then usually something happens and you feel better. The hard part is we can't even go to bed to get some rest. I hope you do start to get over the bug soon. This too shall pass.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:39 pm
by EeFall
debbluebird wrote:Wish there was something I could say to help you feel better. My motto in times like this, life sucks and then you die. I know that sounds depressing, but sometimes that's how a person feels. Then usually something happens and you feel better. The hard part is we can't even go to bed to get some rest. I hope you do start to get over the bug soon. This too shall pass.


Thanks Deb, as usual we seem to have lived parallel lives, "Life sucks and then you die." is a favorite of mine and made me laugh. :D
"This too shall pass." was icing on the cake. :lol: Just a VERY bad 24 hours...Most people take the good with the bad but it seems we take a lot of bad with the bad and it gets old very quickly as we get worn out.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:39 am
by Polar Bear
I wish a had a magic wand and could give all severe sufferers the gift of a blessed night's sleep. Regardless of how severe out symptoms would be.It wouldn't have to be sleep every night,Even just on Alternative nights would contribute so much more to lifestyle. On a bad night we would know that no matter what, this wouldn't be happening again the next night.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:22 am
by EeFall
Polar Bear wrote:I wish a had a magic wand and could give all severe sufferers the gift of a blessed night's sleep. Regardless of how severe out symptoms would be.It wouldn't have to be sleep every night,Even just on Alternative nights would contribute so much more to lifestyle. On a bad night we would know that no matter what, this wouldn't be happening again the next night.


I wish your wish would come true :lol: I'm standing up typing and it is getting late (is clarification needed?). I took my bottle of Mirapex out and nailed it to the side of the barn and shot the crap out of it until the Mirapex floated away as a shimmering, evil cloud...No I didn't do that :lol: I actually threw the bottle down an old outhouse at the neighbors and threw a 1/2 stick of dynamite in and blew the crapper sky high...Okay, well I didn't do that either...but I did spray paint a guys old VW Beetle with the words "Nuke Me", locked the Mirapex in the glovebox and sent it to North Korea C.O.D... :oops: what I really did was switch my Mirapex for a methadone, had strong words with the bottle and put it away for another day. :D

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:16 am
by EeFall
2:10 am and I have to "get up" at 3:20 am, haven't gone to sleep yet. I think I'm going to have to contact my doctor's office tomorrow (today now), I think I'm going to have to have another leave from work I just can't keep going on like this. It is the freaking mirapex, can't even take it again and can't live without it working (at least not a productive life).

I was trying to get my wife to retire. She has all the paperwork ready to send in. She'll never do it now. She is in so much pain from standing up all day though, she won't be able to take it either, we are both stuck.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:33 pm
by EeFall
The world is a different place after having gone through the night with no sleep. It just seems odd to me.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:35 pm
by rthom
I find it different in the morn--weird--night and day change---every pun intended.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:41 pm
by ViewsAskew
EeFall wrote:The world is a different place after having gone through the night with no sleep. It just seems odd to me.


The longer I have this, the more this is true. Twenty years ago a night without sleep was annoying, but I wasn't devastated by it. Now? Just one night and I feel the world is ending. It may be because we associate it with the worst that we've been through - like, "Not again, really? I just can't do this anymore..."

Re: Venting!

Posted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 1:29 am
by Polar Bear
I am so glad to be now retired from employment, it is 2.30am and I am still awake - but not stressed and clock watching.
It was the same last night but this morning it was 9.45am beforeI was awoken by my phone ringing.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:22 am
by badnights
I am so glad I can work 11 AM til 7 PM most days. So far, since Sept; I hope nothing changes this.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:44 am
by ViewsAskew
badnights wrote:I am so glad I can work 11 AM til 7 PM most days. So far, since Sept; I hope nothing changes this.


It's 5:42 and I haven't slept yet.....I really hope I'm not needed by the client until at LEAST noon! But, since the WED isn't stopping tonight, maybe it won't matter :-(.

Re: Venting!

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 12:36 pm
by Polar Bear
Ann, I guess your African Violets are thriving with their nocturnal attention :)

Re: Venting!

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 4:55 pm
by ViewsAskew
Polar Bear wrote:Ann, I guess your African Violets are thriving with their nocturnal attention :)


I'm usually WORKING! So, they are being terribly neglected :-(. Thank goodness many are blooming despite my neglect.