Roller Coaster Ride

[Polar Bear]

You are doing brilliantly

[debbluebird]

This has been a very strange week. I stopped the Mirapex a week ago. It hasn't been too bad because I had also stopped the splenda. Today I realized that I was still getting some aspartame in my system from the "no sugar" Metamucil. My husband and I just totally forgot about that. He mixes it with some other stuff and I usually take two heaping teaspoons full in water daily. Then also I was sipping some of my drink that had the splenda in it. Today I decided I'd better stop it all. For the last three or four days I've been a mess. I've wanted to cry every day. I've been very emotional. I have thought that I'm depressed. Not sure though. I was also thinking that I am getting nervous about having the hip surgery. I don't know. But all I want to do is cry. I'm hoping that maybe in another week this feeling will be over. Maybe it's going off the Mirapex. I usually feel more emotional when I'm taking it.
Then yesterday I remembered I still had some Tramadol left over. So this afternoon I took one of those instead of taking the Methadone. I'd rather save the Methadone for the night. That has worked out today.
Then I'm for sure feeling like I really need to stay away from all processed food. Just cook real food, fresh or frozen. We mostly cook that way anyway. My husband has issues with gluten and dairy anyway. So we are a mess. With the gluten he gets nauseated and vomits. With dairy he can't breath. (ice cream). He's also a diabetic.
The other reason I wanted to stop the Mirapex was so I could loose weight. I can really see the difference in my appetite. I have been able to control my food now. I wanted some more weight off before the surgery.
I just would sure like this crying to be over. Thanks for letting me vent as usual.

[rthom]

hope you do better tonight

[Polar Bear]

dubbluebird, tears can be healing. Often that big tight feeling in the middle of the chest feels better after a good cry.

You've shown such determination, expelling so much that it unwanted from your body. And you are so diligent about watching your diet.
This all has to have some bebeficial effect.

[ViewsAskew]

It's so hard to go through those emotional periods - I really hate them. I hope this one stops soon.

[debbluebird]

It has been an interesting night. I just got up. It's 3:45 am. I'm not getting up because of my WED/PLMD. Instead my left hip aches. This is not the "bad" hip, but the new "bad" hip. I decided to take a Tramadol and wait a 1/2 hour.
I did not have any WED/PLMD tonight. Wow ! The last time was in the afternoon when I decided to take the Tramadol. Then at 9:30 pm I took two Methadone 5mg. I was able to go to sleep between 10 and 11 pm. I don't remember. I will ask my husband later. All I can say is I didn't have any splenda and it's been a week since the Mirapex. Now later this morning I won't have any of the Metamucil, so I will see how the day goes.
I'm hoping to go back to bed in a little while. Boy, if I can get away with one Tramadol and two Methadone to treat the WED/PLMD I will be very happy. I sort of can't believe this.
I am counting the days until I see the Orthopedic doctor. That's all I think about.
So, yes I am feeling better, even though my hip woke me up. Thanks everyone for your support.

[debbluebird]

Well, it's a little after 7 am and my morning has not been my usual morning. I did go back to bed about 5, but couldn't stay there. My itching became intolerable and my WED/PLMD also started. The WED/PLMD starting in the morning is not that unusual but the main difference is that it hasn't stopped. Right now it's hard to sit here and type. I also feel awful. Many mornings after the WED/PLMD stops I can take a nap. I am extremely sleepy, but the WED/PLMD just won't allow sleep. Must go now and pace for awhile.

[debbluebird]

It's about 9:30 am and my WED/PLMD finally stopped. I am so tired, I hope I will be able to take a nap. The itching finally settled down too. I guess I won't take a Tramadol in the early morning again.

[Polar Bear]

I hope you benefited from some sleep.

[debbluebird]

Ended up having as ok day. Haven't had any WED/PLMD so far today. Last time was this morning. Will see how the night goes.

[debbluebird]

Didn't get very far tonight. Went to sleep before 11. Left leg woke me up with WED/PLMD. This is unusual. It's usually the other leg. But today I had my sometime Wednesday afternoon outing. It involves sitting in a straight chair for three hours. I always seem to pay for it later. So I took another Methadone and two Ativan, instead of the Tramadol. Will see what happens and I hope I will be able to go back to bed. It's not severe, so I'm hoping for the best.
I am grateful that I have this site to have someone to talk to when I get up at night. You know, I still think maybe I was augmenting on the Mirapex, the main reason I stopped it. It's been 9 -10 days now.

[debbluebird]

Last night turned out pretty good. Went back to bed and ended up getting about 4 hours of sleep. WED/PLMD did not wake me up. That was nice not having symptoms in the morning. Even though I have been weepy this week, I still feel better. I know that you all hear me changing my meds all the time. But I really believe that If I can take less it's better. Before when the doctors were giving me more and more drugs I thought I would go crazy. It didn't seem like anyone was taking responsibility for what they were doing to me. I wanted to die. I still want to look more into the glutamate thing. I also know 100 % that the aspartame and splenda made all the difference. On another thread they just listed an article regarding augmentation. It showed that the mean time for augmentation to resolve was 12.5 weeks. (If I read that right)

[ViewsAskew]

I love that! Night of the Living Living! I guess we could have a TV series called The Walking Living, too! You have to laugh at it, sometimes. I've been having a rough couple of days... I have slept about 2 hours in the past 48. I am really hoping I will be able to get some sleep tonight! Legs and arms both driving me nuts!

I hope that sleep is your friend tonight - 2 hours in 48 is NO FUN!!!!!

I also like the Night of the Walking Living, or The Night of the Wakeful Walking .

[debbluebird]

Last night was my best night, more or less. I didn't take any Tramadol. I had forgotten why I stopped it before. It makes me itch more than the Methadone. I took three Methadone 5 mg each, spaced through out the evening and night. I did make the mistake of eating some chocolate in the afternoon. I love chocolate and I always forget. It keeps me awake. (the caffeine). I have been going to sleep between 10 and 11. Last night it was after 1 am. I did sleep until 5 am, when my left hip started aching and then the PLMD started. So I got up. I was able to go to my recliner and the WED/PLMD stopped right away. I went back to sleep in my chair. I wish I could have stayed in bed so I could use my CPAP. I can't afford two machines. I have been having issues with it anyway. I leaked all night, so I know my sleep wasn't the best. But do feel pretty good today. I'm thinking I've turned the corner. I also believe that my hip is irritating my WED/PLMD. My joints have done that to me before. Like I said before, stopping Mirapex this time has not been bad, really. I contribute that to my low dose plus stopping the splenda.

[debbluebird]

Oh, I forgot something. This morning I have been on the computer looking at different foods, drugs, etc, that may cause WED/PLMD. I discovered that my blood pressure med can cause WED. I am on Propranolol, a beta blocker. I can't tell you how many drugs that I have been on for other reasons besides WED/PLMD that causes WED/PLMD. As sensitive that I am to drugs and chemicals I imagine that my blood pressure med is contributing to my WED/PLMD. The thing is, I don't know what I can replace it with. When I was first on blood pressure meds, we tried several ones before I found one that worked for me. I read recently on this site that if someone is depressed they need to take an antidepressant anyway, and just increase their WED meds. To some degree, I agree. I stopped my antidepressant med during the period of my worst augmentation. At the time it was really bad and stopping the med helped. I have been depressed throughout my life and have taken the meds for it at different times. At this time in my life I don't think I need that anymore, even though I just had that period of being weepy. I think that's over. But back to my blood pressure med. I had planned to see my doctor in a week or so. I will talk to her about that then. It would be interesting to see if I could change blood pressure meds and see if I could reduce the Methadone. My bet is that, that's what could happen.