ViewsAskew wrote:After my last week of getting of of a DA from augmentation (and with methadone to help), I can only imagine how hard this is. I only got a few hours sleep and I HAD drugs to help....
The only good thing is that you know there will be another side and when you stop, you will be much better off.
Actually I don't know that at all. I am only doing this because Dr Earley seems to think it will help and he is one of the top doctors in the country, hence the world, but I don't know that it will be better. The two doctors that have helped me in Seattle are prominent doctors too and yet they were at a total lose. My doctor here said I was at the end of the line, Dr Allen who I talked to on the phone said I was at the end of the line, but that they might be able to help, no guarantees. I don't know why out of thousands of patients that I am the worse they have seen where I live but from the way Dr Earley was talking he has dealt with similar cases except I think he was a little floored that my first sleep apnea tests showed that I was waking up every 30 seconds.
I have an old friend who happens to be a girl (not a girlfriend) that came and visited us last year, she has been a friend of my wife's and mine since childhood. When she found out the seriousness of my problem, I usually keep it hidden from most, she began trying to solve it as people do, and I told her finally that some problems have no solutions. I did not tell her what I was also thinking was that death is sometimes the solution. I'm doing this mostly I suppose because I want to finally know that this isn't going to be getting better, that I can finally say that yeah, I'll be 58 years old in a few weeks (while going through this hell) but I can retire and spend the rest of my life as comfortably as I can. I hold out little hope and would be astounded if this works - ASTOUNDED!
I think what will happen is after going through the withdrawal stage and then the 10 days of no drugs that I will be awake 24 hours a day 7 days a week struggling to maintain my sanity as the doctor tries to give me back enough methadone (or whatever) to allow me to barely live again. I have backups on my backups of meds and alternative meds if this does not work. This 27 day test could actually make it worse, not better. That scares the crap out of me, that it could become worse! Anyway, I'm venting, I'm scared, and I am going through withdrawals and can't sleep. I just took my 5 mg methadone and .125 pramipexole not my normal 150 mg Lyrica, 5 mg methadone, and .25 pramipexole (the minimum to keep me sort of sleeping). Why should I be positive? This has been going on 13 plus years now and it is much worse now than at the start. I hope I'm wrong, I would so much like my life back again.