

leggo_my_legs wrote:Views,
We have a lot in common. Also lifelong food issues here. Dad was also a drinker. My experience of abuse was largely emotional neglect from both parents. This too can really scar a person.
So glad you have great friends to help! I have some but not enough who get this kind of thing.
If possible, detach with love. When that doesn't work, detach however you have to. When we stay enmeshed, it keeps us from healing. And, is it SO easy for them to suck us back in if we are not vigilant.
badnights wrote:leggo, if it's impacting you negatively, you have to save yourself. When I was 21, I got a job 3000 miles away from her. I don't recall that there were a lot of other jobs in the offing, but it was a 3-month job and I stayed 35 years (and counting). Regardless of my job options at the time, I always say to people that I got as far away from my mother as I could, because she was sucking the life-force out of me.
EEEYYEWWWPlus I don't want to deal with her creepy husband..
When she remarried she chose a child molester who had just gotten out of prison. They are totally enmeshed and when I call he lays on the guilt too: "Your mother will be happy to talk to you," etc. I know she talks to him about her relationship with me and it grosses me out. Plus it's so gross the way he says "your mother" because he should be referring to her by name, by what she is to HIM, not me.
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