Lonliness

[ViewsAskew]

I'm not one who should be replying today....it's dark in my world right now. Nothing special, just all the crap you just wrote about .

Maybe tomorrow I'll have a different perspective.

[cornelia]

It's hard to read that some of us who joined this board many years ago seem to be doing less and less well; it makes me sad.
Corrie

[Polar Bear]

I agree with Corrie.
And when one of our towers of strength has a bad day we want to do anything we can to help.... from thousands of miles away

[ViewsAskew]

It's hard to read that some of us who joined this board many years ago seem to be doing less and less well; it makes me sad.
Corrie

It certainly does, doesn't it?

[leggo_my_legs]

This is an old thread, but its giving me comfort today. Thank you. I usually avoid the relationship forum due to lack thereof, but this thread gave me hope.

Perhaps for those who spoke of not wanting to be around other people during symptoms, this is neurologically based due to overstimulation. Too much going on at once. I feel the same...so do animals in pain.

I'm having a bad day. Woke up with my back in spasm, feeling exhausted and barely able to cope. Doggie is wondering why Pack Leader doesn't want to go on our walk. I will have to get it together for him in a bit. He is a very energetic mini poodle who needs his outlet.

I am very thankful to have a flexible job where if I have a bad day, I can make it up later in the week. I am a social worker and this is an unusual job that may end in a few months. I pray I can find another with similar flexibility. Having to try to function at work when you feel this bad is its own special kind of hell.

Typically pain increase for me means PMLS meds not working. Been sensing a decrease in effectiveness for awhile now, need to make MD appt.

[Polar Bear]

leggo --- I understand exactly what you are saying and your analogy of an animal in pain.
In bad times I just want to be left alone until it feels better.

Coincidentally, this mornng I woke up feeling, not in spasm, but sore all over. Got myself together enough to do some ironing late mornng and then when my husband went out this afternoon to his lawn bowls I took myself off to bed with my Kindle.
Thankfully my soreness had eased and my RLS was under control, I managed a nap for a blissful hour. Cannot recall the last time I went to bed during the day. Perhaps there are some lingering thoughts from the 'sleep thread' i.e. grab some sleep whenever and wherever you can.

I hope your day improved and you are back to being Pack Leader. Woof

[legsbestill]

I am sorry to hear you so low leggo - and you too Polar Bear. I hope things pick up.

Is it very trite of me to ask about your dog, Leggo? I would love a miniature poodle. The thing that puts me off is prescisely what you identify in your post - their high energy requirements and the chance that on bad days I wouldn't feel up to providing the exercise they need. I have a Tibetan terrier who can cope with not having a walk some days. He is great but just not as clever as a poodle. What colour is yours? Is he great fun? Have you had him long? Is he your first poodle?

I realise that you don't come on this forum to talk about dogs so totally understand if you don't respond but couldn't resist asking. I don't know anyone who has one . ..

[leggo_my_legs]

Polar Bear

A nap! A blissful nap! So happy for you! Glad the soreness eased.

Legsb, not trite at all. I love talking about him, as any parent would! He's black and weighs about 14 lbs. 8 years old (going on one year old lol!). I've only had him a year.

Yes super smart and super high energy. I give him food puzzle toys while I'm at work. I probably walk him about 6-7 days a week. Can miss a day now and then but generally not advisable. It's good for me that he needs exercise because it gets me out too. He really needs 2 good walks a day but I'm not as good with the second walk.

He's my first dog. He does bark at me when I come home but otherwise he's pretty good. I wouldn't be afraid to get one if you really want one. You just have to be creative with the exercise and mental energy. My little guy is pretty demanding but he's an only dog. I think it's a little better if you have 2 dogs. Also poodles really like their routines and may protest changes.

All this is reminding me, I was going to put him in doggy daycare once a week for extra stimulation, thanks for refreshing my memory!

[ViewsAskew]

Doggies are great to have! Kitties, too. And fish! Doggies are special, though in that few pets love you back in the same way. Great for lifting a crappy mood.

[stjohnh]

Doggies are great to have! Kitties, too. And fish! Doggies are special, though in that few pets love you back in the same way. Great for lifting a crappy mood.

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats. They are a great comfort.

[legsbestill]

We currently have only one dog and one cat - they interact very well and provide us with so much entertainment. A huge comfort. What types of dogs are yours, Holland?

[stjohnh]

Both mutts. Small one Coco is a terrier mix. BIG one is a pit bull mix. He is a wimp, though he looks ferocious. Name is Moose, head looks like a pit, but much taller. Small one is 17 pounds and she dominates Moose (85 pounds). They play together constantly. Cats pretty much ignore the dogs, though Coco sometimes plays with the bigger cat.

[badnights]

I saw this thread active and for a second thought "rthom is back!". I wonder how he's doing.

I re-read the thread and wow, I was so optimistic back then, and now I seem to have .... what, faded? shrunk? I'm not bitter but I'm still lonely but it doesn't hurt? The ache is not huge. Maybe because I have a new world. Not just hockey and broomball, but now a HIIT gym, too. There's something about lifting weights that makes me feel really happy. And the people there are great; it's like we're a family. I don't have to be having a good day; it's not noticeable what kind of a day I'm having.

And my dog helps. I know this, because once I came home from a trip and she was gone (my housesitter didn't know when I was coming home and had taken her on a visit somewhere), and I felt lost. My house was wrong, empty.

She's 14 years old, a shepherd cross, huge ears, beautiful eyes. We understand each other so well, no words are necessary (which is a good thing because she's totally deaf). If she dies before I do, which seems likely, I will probably be devastated, even though I keep preparing myself for that day by enjoying her as much as I can, and taking her with me almost everywhere I go. She can't keep up with me anymore if I go for a run, though

[yawny]

Beth, I was graced with the most amazing Australian Shepherd who died years ago. He was a beautiful black and white with soulful brown eyes, and beyond smart. His favorite thing to do was snatch a freshly unwrapped stick of butter off the kitchen counter. He slept on his back with his legs in the air. He always looked like he was smiling at me. I was, and am still very connected to him. Think about him all the time. When you're that connected, they never really leave you.

I'm currently reading "Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence" (Hanson)...the author, a trained neuropsychologist, teaches that whatever feelings we have come from inside the brain, or how we've trained our brain. We evolved with a negativity bias that makes us less able to learn from positive experiences but efficient at learning from negative experiences, or "Velcro for the bad, Teflon for the good." I tend to lean toward loneliness and sadness, so I'm using his techniques to change this tendency. It's changed how I interact with my cats, and any other positive experience. Too soon to see how it pans out but I'm hopeful.

[legsbestill]

Yawny and Beth, lovely to hear about your Australian Shepherd and part Shepherd respectively; my tibetan terrier also sleeps on his back with his legs in the air but although he is quite eccentric, he is sadly not hugely clever and the connection that you speak of is not really there with him - much as I love him.

Yawny, have you seen the Sean Achor Ted Talks video about happiness and productivity? It is very interesting as well as highly amusing. It sounds like it makes similar points to those in your book. 10 minutes or so very well spent.