Finding Family

SquirmingSusan · Post by **SquirmingSusan** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 3:43 am

It's been a month since I last logged in here! In that time period I've had some really exciting and stressful things happen. Probably the most exciting was that I found my birth family (I was adopted as an infant). My birth mother passed away 3-1/2 years ago, but I have a (half) sister about 60 miles away in WI, and her son, my nephew who is a published science fiction author. We met them both, as well as the nephew's wife for lunch. I've calmed down a bit from all that now, but that was just so exciting. Turns out I was the result of a long-term affair between a divorced single mother and a married man. That makes me a love child, LOL. And the affair was so long term that I have a full brother out there somewhere who is about 10 years younger than me. He is going to be very difficult to find.

Anyway, turns out that my bio father had a child by his wife who has narcolepsy. Now we know where that comes from. I didn't ask about the RLS; I didn't even think about it being that it's relatively common. It's also good to know some of the other health issues that run in the family. And it turns out that my relatives were/are all a bunch of nerds.

Like me.

Some of the other stuff that''s been keeping me busy - Getting my daughter settled into a room in a house near the University of MN. And, one day, on the way back from looking at a potential housing situation, we were rear-ended by a concrete truck, 2 cars back. I've been too busy to get an estimate on the repairs, but the driver admitted fault and we just have to submit the bill to his commercial insurance.

Anyway, it's always nice to log in here and see how helpful you all are to each other. I'm always struck by the level of supportiveness here.

Post by **ViewsAskew** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:30 am

Wow! That must have been quite the emotional experience. How fascinating about the length of the affair

. They must have loved each other quite a bit. Too bad your mom didn't think she could keep you.

Did your biological father's family know about this before you found them?

My dad was adopted and it's so weird not knowing the medical history, the likelihood of medical problems, let alone that sense of not having a shared history. I've always wondered what 'tribe' I belong to. Much weirder to be the adopted child, I'm sure.

Post by **badnights** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 7:24 am

Wow that must have been SO exciting. How wonderful that they wanted to meet you. Did they know all that history about you (well, your parents' affair) forever, or did they just find out recently ? How wierd if they always knew.

It's good to hear from you. One of my support angels.

I'm glad you're doing well. (besides the accident, which at least isn't going to be a battle, and saying good bye to your daughter - sniffle sniffle)

Post by **Polar Bear** » Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:10 pm

What a busy and stressful few weeks. But good stress

I love a happy ending.

Hmmm... I've also done the bit where they leave for uni. Its bittersweet.

Rubyslipper · Post by **Rubyslipper** » Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:46 pm

So happy that you found your family and know that you were a love child! We used to laugh about that title in the 70's but for you it rings true and is a good thing. Good times and bad follow like night and day but it sounds like the good is the winner this time! Hope you weren't hurt in the car wreck.

SquirmingSusan · Post by **SquirmingSusan** » Fri Sep 23, 2011 5:43 am

Wow, I totally narcolepsed the whole last week. Just too sleepy to function.

Thanks for being excited for me with all the exciting things happening. Betty and Beth, we moved the daughter to a in a house near the U of M, but she usually comes home on weekends. But it's so quiet around here on weekdays, with her living over there, and my son off at his classes. I don't think I'm going to like it when the kids really move out.

Ann, my biological father's family has never known about the affair and the babies from the affair. My sister doesn't like the idea of contacting them, but maybe someday I may have to find me some more half-siblings. My sister did know about the babies who were given up for adoption, but my nephew truly had no idea. So some surprises there.

I'm hoping that my brain will start functioning better and I'll be able to check in here more often. Somehow my meds are not playing well together and I'm getting a bit worsened apnea, in addition to narcolepsy and WED.

Post by **badnights** » Fri Sep 23, 2011 6:09 am

Another down-swing on the curve of life:( It will be followed by an upswing {{{}}}

SquirmingSusan · Post by **SquirmingSusan** » Sat Sep 24, 2011 2:02 am

Yes, I'm anticipating an upswing sooner or later. I bought myself a pulse oximeter so I can try to figure out what's going on with my apnea at night. I love to sleep on my back, but between all the meds I'm on, I've had too many dips into the moderate apnea zone (O2 of 80-85) and even a couple 10 second dips all the way down to 79. I have an apnea mouth guard, but I tend to take it out and throw it in my sleep. No wonder I've been so freaking tired!!!

Last night I slept on my side, and no O2 readings less than 94. Now, how do I keep sleeping on my side...

On top of it all, I'm having major dental issues once again. I've had so many root canals and crowns the last few years, and the costs of those are really oppressive. Now it turns out that one of the top back molars is still infected, and the infection has apparently spread to the bone. And they can't tell from the X-rays which one it is. I'm taking some strong antibiotics which aren't touching the infection, and the dentist gave me some strong steroids the other day in hopes that knocking down the inflammation will help my body knock down the infection. That doesn't seem to be working either.

Next step is to start pulling teeth. These are teeth that I've already spent a fortune on trying to save. I keep asking them when is it just better to pull a tooth instead of going through the root canal and crown process? They always tell me it's cheaper and better to keep your own teeth. Not when you're going to lose them anyway, and within a year of getting a root canal! It's looking like I'll need an implant or two.

The antibiotics aren't killing the infection, but they are killing my guts. Nasty gas, the runs, and now a hiatal hernia acting up.

But at least I slept better last night and have been able to stay awake today! It's something, anyway. And only one more day of the nasty antibiotics.

Wow, get me started moaning and I just can't quit! Looking forward to that upswing!

Post by **ViewsAskew** » Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:18 am

Wow, Susan. That's a lot of stuff going on...

Rubyslipper · Post by **Rubyslipper** » Sat Sep 24, 2011 10:26 pm

Here's hoping that upswing starts really soon!

Post by **Chipmunk** » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:13 am

I'm sorry about all of your tooth issues.

About side sleeping: I have heard of people who attach tennis balls to the back of their pjs (duct tape??) so that they will not sleep on their backs because of apnea/snoring.

SquirmingSusan · Post by **SquirmingSusan** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 3:05 am

Hello my lovely restless leggers! I actually have had a bit of an upswing. I made it to a clergy training event last week, and it was wonderful reconnecting with some old friends and making new friends around the state. I got the last of my references lined up for my ministerial profile, and am getting a bit more excited about the possibility of actually going back to work. I still have to work out the last kinks in my medication regime, not the least of which is that my best "stay-awake" medication has been in short supply for the last 6 months or so. I got my prescription Fed-Ex'd from Dr. B this week only to find out that Walgreen's, who had some earlier this week, was now out of it and can't get it in for a while. We have several pharmacies in the area, and if one is out they all are out. One of them said they could order some and hopefully have it on Tuesday. I feel like I live in a developing country sometimes with all the drug shortages.

OTOH, the tooth is still infected and I stopped taking the antibiotic and didn't take the last 3 pills because, not only was I having killer gut pain, but I suddenly looked as if I had a sunburn all over. Fortunately that went away by the next day. The dentist wants $1100 to go back into the tooth and dig around some more, but I'm going to just have it pulled. Stupid teeth. All these medications I take really do bad things to teeth. Not to mention all those years of falling asleep all the time without brushing.

I invested in a better pulse oximeter that will record a whole night's worth of data, and that has eased my mind about the apnea. The mouthguard pretty much keeps it under control, but even when I don't get it in before I fall asleep, it's mostly mild with an occasional trip to the moderate category. And when it gets into the moderate category, I really do feel more tired, so it's worth it to really try to keep the dumb thing in my mouth. I am so much more comfortable sleeping on my back; I really wish I could learn to sleep on my side. My shoulders get too sore.

I'm tired and rambling... Thanks for being here and taking such good care of everyone!

Post by **badnights** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:58 am

I'm sure you've tried something like this, but I used to hear that a person could tape a tennis ball to her back, which would cause her to roll back onto her side, if she rolled onto her back in her sleep. Taping it is obviously not a practical solution, tho, and especially not for night after night. Maybe strap it on with an elastic tensor bandage/wrap?

Post by **Polar Bear** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 2:53 pm

I heard another way to use the tennis ball method. put the tennis ball into a sock and pin the sock to the back of your PJs.

Post by **Chipmunk** » Tue Oct 11, 2011 2:00 pm

If it's generic Adderall you are taking then try getting a prescription for brand name only. There is a shortage of generic Adderall but not brand name. Or you could hit up the local college library - our local paper wanted to see how quickly they could score some illicit Adderall and the first person they asked knew someone who could sell it to them (kidding of course!).